Stool/Faeces sample

#1
Good afternoon motherfuckers!

Yesterday I visited a hospital because I was feeling unwell and was asked for stool and urine samples. I was given these small containers that is the size of those toothpick containers and tasked to return them with stool and urine samples. Urine sample, no problem. Just pee slowly into the container to avoid splashing and voila!

Stool sample. Now that's the shit (no pun intended). This was the first time I had ever been asked for my stool sample. So I go to the toilet and now I needed to figure out how to get the shit into the sample bottle. Ideas started ringing in my mind as I wondered how other people do this:

1. Do I shit on my hands then put it in the bottle?
2. Do I miss the toilet bowl on purpose then scoop with tissue paper and put in the bottle?
3. Do I shit on tissue paper the put in the bottle?
4. Do I try to shit directly into the sample bottle?
5. Do I ask for a funnel, shit into it and right into the container?

I didn't know how to go about the business. It was a shitty affair. I went back to the doc and said that I wasn't ready to shit and perhaps it would be best for me to bring the sample later. I'm still trying figure out how to do this and any help is welcome.

By the way, I decided to not eat seriously by eating spaghetti, carbage, minji (whatever it's English name), cucumbers and fruits. No way I'm taking a sample of black stool with tumbukiza and spinach to the doctor.

Advise please.


And now an image just in time for lunch to motivate you to assist
 
Last edited by a moderator:

pohpohpoh

Village Elder
#17
Good afternoon motherfuckers!

Yesterday I visited a hospital because I was feeling unwell and was asked for stool and urine samples. I was given these small containers that is the size of those toothpick containers and tasked to return them with stool and urine samples. Urine sample, no problem. Just pee slowly into the container to avoid splashing and voila!

Stool sample. Now that's the shit (no pun intended). This was the first time I had ever been asked for my stool sample. So I go to the toilet and now I needed to figure out how to get the shit into the sample bottle. Ideas started ringing in my mind as I wondered how other people do this:

1. Do I shit on my hands then put it in the bottle?
2. Do I miss the toilet bowl on purpose then scoop with tissue paper and put in the bottle?
3. Do I shit on tissue paper the put in the bottle?
4. Do I try to shit directly into the sample bottle?
5. Do I ask for a funnel, shit into it and right into the container?

I didn't know how to go about the business. It was a shitty affair. I went back to the doc and said that I wasn't ready to shit and perhaps it would be best for me to bring the sample later. I'm still trying figure out how to do this and any help is welcome.

By the way, I decided to not eat seriously by eating spaghetti, carbage, minji (whatever it's English name), cucumbers and fruits. No way I'm taking a sample of black stool with tumbukiza and spinach to the doctor.

Advise please.


And now an image just in time for lunch to motivate you to assist

View attachment 246732
The visual consistency of your faecal matter alludes to an inadequate intake and absorption of vegetables , starch and carbohydrates . Please Post an update HD photo of your excrement at a later date after incorporating the aforementioned food groups for further scrutiny and intensive analysis.
 

Ghaseer

Village Elder
#19
Lab techinicians wanakuanga na kazi ngumu....:D:D:Dthey are supposed to seriously stare at infected faeces, kikohozi, urine, pus magnified thousands of times and still maintain a sober face when eating at home.
Nimeenda... (admin ongeza emoji ya kutapika)
 

Ken_Sarro

Village Elder
#20
Don't you use tissue paper? sio ati a handful of your shit is required just a strain. Do you business, wipe off with tissue then use the spatula like sampler to pick your shit and take to the lab.
 

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