Sweetness of life: when u find out yr Ex is doing badly in life

ok this is a chic I broke up with like 5 years ago and we have never met since as i thought kila mtu had moved on with maisha. Fast FWD juzi i met her na hapo Kencomm…mtu ame beat niaje.she used to be mid momo mid slim shedi then. Sijui if u get the picture,as in hajakonda sana and the same time hajanona sana…alikuanga hapo katikati. Lakini when i met her Kencom, kitu ilikuwa inaka kama mtungi ya maji…shapeless na kimenona excess. Infact ni yeye alini notice…she was like niaje Jirani!! ushaiona mtu amekutaja kwa streets una try to remember where did i knw this one from? u ask ua self kama alikuwa primo school mate, ama mboch wenyu etc–

lakini coz i have a good mem nikakumbuka ni Melissa…ule Ex wangu…mwenye alini dump juu bado sikuwa na job poa. Ati amepata msee wa pawa!! Ma huggings and then we started catching up…nika show dame twende coffee we catch up mzuri. Tumeingia pale Uchumi hse…kuna place moja poa sana ya watu middle class…nikaitisha chai, chapati na sausage… Melissa naye akasema a soda + samosa will do…Anyway twendele…how have u been melissa? Ehhh Jay (she used 2 call me jay as in J for jirani)…u don’t know how i have missed u aki jay–am like bae si i thot u moved on and last time i heard si ulikua umepata bwana and a kid…

Jay , skiza hun…things did not go well. the guy i hooked up with was way much older than me. He lured me with expensive dates, gifts and also the car he drove was weweweweuwe. He also used to pay my rent at an aprtment in Umo. Dude claimed he was a busy man running his family’s bizna juu his dad had passed and hence needed to stay with his mom nauko lavi…but he assured me soon tutaishi pamoja. kidogo am carrying his toi Jay…when i was PG this dude treated me like a queen… Calling me every now and then…nikitaka pesa…anatuma Mpesa jay alafu he wud visit me occasionally. I ask Melissa and then…and then ask watu wa duka tu ongeza her a samosa…this was getting interesting…why shouldnt i-

She continues jay u wont believe this after i gave birth mwanaume potead …kumbe dude all along was processing green card ya kwenda the USA and had a wife…jeez nikawachwa na mtoto kijana…his now 4yrs. I ask the waitress inda the coffee shop kama ana passion juice…this story was getting better n better…

I ask her melissa, and now what u doing with life? She says jay , i hooked up with a married old man…that was my only hope coz dudes my peers hawataki single moms…am like continue…the old man akanipa mimba ingine. I was like Waitress leta passion juice ingine haraka upesi …ehe i ask her endelea…he dumped me and told me never to contact him…his wife once called me and threatened me …she told me niwachane na bwana yake or else…kumbe the hubby had lied 2 her that i was a receptionist at his work place who had fallen 4 him ,So jay i moved on…right now jay ukiniona hivi nimekuja nairobi kununua nguo gikomba to sell in eldoret…uko ndio naishi napia i do my 2nd hand clothes bizness… I have already purchased my bale of mitumba and booked them on an akamba bus which am travelling with this evening.

I woke up…hugged her and said WISH U KNEW BABY GAL, wish u knew,handed her 1 K and moved to her lips nikama i wanna kiss her…Melissa brings her lips closer bt to her surprise i divulge and kiss her on her cheeks…told her all the best hun…she left in tears.napenda sana

6 Likes

Dude, you are one closeted serial killer. I don’t do x updates when we meet. Its hurried greetings like am owning some bomb making factory unless am suffering from epileptic dry spell.

2 Likes

Nimeachia hapo kwa AKAMBA bus!

10 Likes

HEHEHE. .TIG HIYO MTUNGI YA MAJI NDIO NAPENDA NAISUGUA MPAKA INATOA RANGI .

But hekaya zako si mbaya

4 Likes

Never rejoice in someone’s woes lest they befall you too! You should instead given her a send off package… bundle of joy. After all lodging ni cheap

2 Likes

Enyewe huyo ni mtu mashida hivi hivi

4 Likes

kwani hii story ni ya 1993

5 Likes

Hiyo Akamba Ndio gani?

1 Like

:D:D:D Its been over 5 years since Akamba went out of biz…si hata angesema Mbukinya…na vile nilikua nimevuta stool nikaitisha weave!:mad::mad:

8 Likes

Akamba, tena ya kwenda Eldie, imeuza hiyo hekaya…ama alisema e-coach ni wewe hukusikia poa?

1 Like

:D:D:D

Akamba bus kumbe bado ziko? Nimecheki Jay nyingi sana kwa hekaya ,lazima angetajataja jina yako kama kitambo pia.

:D:D:D:D:D

I had an ex mwenye alinichuja coz then i dint have a jobo. i had my post grad degree, no job, just hustling and crashing with a childhood friend in a bedistter somewhere in kawangware!!! sahi God amenisort polepole and the bitch is now trying to fix herself in my life again. tutext kila siku, tu-watsapp, tu-calls!!!stupid!!! Sijui madame huwa wanafikiria men suffer from amnesia ama nini???

6 Likes

Aki jay? Wacha nisome post zingine hii ni upus!

1 Like

yani Delmonte na samosa mbili zinaweza fanya watu wafungue roho hivi, ungenunulia yeye ka meat pie juu yake story ziishie kwa back seat ya Akamba

4 Likes

The bus company collapsed several years ago. Ata afadhali angesema crown bus.

1 Like

@Jirani.maishani mimba ya ujinga haina ukunga, na yako naona yako iko mwezi wa nne.

3 Likes

It is not good to celebrate other people’s misfortunes. It means you never really moved on.

2 Likes

:D:D:D:D