This week I saw a song Tanasha had released. She was wearing a black low cut body suit and some kind of cat ears on her head. I didn’t watch the song. I don’t watch those trending songs most of the time. I think it was like 250k views. It was like 3 days old. I was like she’s churning alot of songs out. Why is it that before she met Diamond she never sang if this was really her thing or did she discover her talents when she was with this guy or what. Personally I never liked Mr. Diamond. I like a few of his songs that are clean. So you can imagine how few of them there are.I remember this one time I was on a date with a much younger man and I was really enjoying Diamond’s song, well his beats were very catchy and the video was clean. Now I don’t even remember what the song was but in my innocent mind I thought that the song was about dancing. The gentleman told me that the song was really filthy. Like I should not enjoy it so much. LOL.
Now back to our darling Tanasha, whom we love dearly. Kenyans love this girl so much. My heart just went out to her. Like is she trying to show Diamond that she can be a successful singer without him? I never really knew Tanasha left Kenya to live with Diamond and got pg in 2 months of knowing the guy. So many things that I learnt post break up. I won’t say Diamond is any worse than most men because I have men in my family who dumped women after getting them pg. In one case they’d lived together for 12 years and she got into a car accident and she was the only survivor and that’s when she realized that she was pg and the man dumped her in a very bad way. So men’s nature generally I don’t know how I can describe it. It’s not the best. I’ve dated men who have told me terrible things they’ve done that make Diamond look like a Saint. I guess men have consciences that was why they were telling me because it bothered them though because of ego, they say it like they don’t care but deep down it really is bothering them. I’m not saying women are angels, women can be very evil too let’s not forget John the Baptist head involved a woman and her daughter but men somehow do it more or worse .
So every time I see Tanasha Donna I feel terrible. I feel bad for her. I feel worse for the innocent baby caught up in the middle of all of this. What can I say. It’s terrible. Tanasha didn’t take time out post break up to just take a break. Breaking up with someone is hard. Even if you never had sex with them. Leave alone getting children with them and everyone knowing your story bcz the man is a public figure. You loved them so much you moved to his country and even changed your religion because of them. It’s alot. You need some down time to just recoup, regroup, process. You process so many things even several years after breaking up with someone. I met one of my exes who is married and has 2 kids. We broke up more than 10 years ago and the guy still said to me, I really that we were going to have children and I was like but you have children and he said again that he thought him and I would have kids. So later I was like men also grieve these kinds of losses. Personally there’s noone I thought of having children with whom I dated so I can’t relate and everyone including my parents say I am a very motherly person and I do love children but marriage and children just wasn’t on my mind when I am dating. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s a way of protecting myself psychologically. I don’t idealise a man to the point I think of having children with him or marriage. So what I’m saying is that I imagine that if you get a child with a guy and they reject you for no fault of your own, it wounds you terribly.
Tanasha is putting on a brave face but I know she’s hurting and it will get worse when her baby daddy gets a new gf. She needs time out to grieve the loss of the relationship because if she won’t it will spill over to the child. The child has a bitter pill to swallow when he’s old enough to realize that he was abandoned by his dad. So he needs his mom to be whole so she will help him with the heartache of growing up with out a dad.
This is life. Shit happens. People make mistakes and then people move on but you can not move on if you don’t take time out to grieve. Personally if I was Tanasha the first step is converting back to Christianity. Give the baby a Christian name not Naseeb Junior. Really reconsider if singing is her thing ama it’s a way to prove a point to Diamond. Forgive herself for getting carried. Forgive Diamond for being dead beat. Otherwise she will never move on even that man she is waiting for to come along won’t when she is still hang up in her past. There’s people who have never moved on 30 years later. A pastor of a place I go to pray, who is maybe 10 years younger than my folks, was telling us how some guy won’t talk to him to date for marrying his wife. He thought he would marry the woman but she got married to the pastor. The guy who is still bitter is married, he has kids who are married but decades later he’s still bitter at the good pastor because he never took time out when it happened to process and grieve his losses. Our hearts as humans are not cut out for some of these disappointments. You could get cancer from carrying that kind of anger and bitterness for decades. The same way you take time out to heal a broken bone you need to heal a broken heart and not just time, prayer, counseling to process your disappointment.
You are not in a relationship with someone you have never slept with. That’s just infatuation. A “fling”, for the lack of a better word.
Even the state recognizes your relationship once the marriage has been consummated. Without consummation, the marriage can be annulled. That is, there is no relationship.
And anyway no man considers it a relationship without getting some. They may tell you so to keep you at bay, but they don’t really mean it. It’s a classic player move.
The last English I did was in high school. I know 7 European languages and a few local dialects. Language is a means of communication. With 8 years of learning a language you can express yourself enough to get your point across. It’s only people who know 2 languages like you who do not get that. Try learning other languages for the sake of it, it will expand your thinking. I know that you are trying to troll me but there are very few people here if any whose opinion of my intellect I would take seriously. Most of you are intellectual dwarfs who can’t remember the last book they read. I read 4 books a month and I don’t do it to impress people, I do it because when you read, it broadens your mind. You learn about things that you would never experience in your natural life. Of course majority men here are not used to women who live the life of the mind, what you know women for is sex, petty gossip and cattiness. So I know that it’s an affront to the little Grey matter you have that a woman can be better read and extremely intelligent compared to you. That there are women who can make you look like a village busaa seller intellectually.
You can not gauge me. The only person I can consider an assessment from is a professor in the sciences. My question is, do you even an arts masters? Ama you hold a PhD from Sabena Joy University. LOL. Boss stick to the rivers and lakes that you are used to. Don’t go chasing me, I am a waterfall beach.
That’s funny because it’s Diamond who made a move on her first. The way I see it, Diamond used her to endear himself to Kenyans. A tactic that King Solomon himself used to consolidate his influence. I find Natasha abit naive for that level of Scheming. I don’t know if she can sustain a musical career over the long haul. I think she’d be a great actress.
That would mean that some people have then never been in a relationship. A relationship is not defined by sex, otherwise sex workers have relationships for a living? I know for people who are not Christian it’s actually shocking to realize that there are people who don’t have sex with people they’re not married to. They have long term relationships some lasting years, where they do everything couples do except have sex. When they break up they suffer just like the ones who were having sex. Being connected to someone of the opposite sex or even same sex like your best friend has nothing to do with sex yet if you kosana or they die you will go through a kind of heartbreak. There are people who have sex Sijui friends with benefits where if the FWB died it may not even affect them much, compared to some couple who have never had sex. You can love someone to pieces with out ever having sex with them and you can have sex with someone for years and feel no investment in them. There are sex workers who have regular customers who theyve known for years even decades. So let’s not get it twisted. Relationship and sex are two different issues. Love has nothing to do with sex. You can be madly in love with a man or a woman and you have never had sex with them. You can have a very serious and strong relationship with a man or woman and never sleep with them. Sex means nothing outside of the meaning that the person engaged in it imbues it with and we have a billion dollar industry of commercial sex to prove that sex means absolutely nothing other than the meaning that the people engaging in it imbue to it. The strongest relationship on earth mother child relationships are not defined by sex. Please let’s not abuse people by telling them that if you cannot say they are in a relationship with out engaging in sex. It’s a humanistic view but actually misuse and abuse of sex. From where I sit, sex is for procreation first so unless I having children with you, I don’t see any need whatsoever why I should have sex with you to prove to you that I am in a relationship with you then start drinking p2 to stop me from getting your offspring bcz I am not ready to or in fact I have no intention of ever having your children. We should not misuse and abuse sex. If you are in a relationship that you are not ready to have children don’t have sex. Beyond massaging your ego and giving you a nut, sex is there for a very serious function of creating human beings. This kind of reasoning is like using an AK47 to dig your farm. Misuse and abuse of sex.
All men are players. Having sex with them outside marriage won’t change that. It can only worsen it. If what defines a relationship to men is sex, why do men despise prostitutes and the women who give in to sex with out any commitment from the man first so much and adore women who deny them sex? The Madonna Whore complex?
Marriage and its consummation is a topic for another day.
It’s human nature. A relationship with a man doesn’t start until you have sex. It may not be ideal, but it’s reality.
Anything outside that is infatuation.
It’s instilled in primates.
Humanity despises prostitutes. Not just men. And nowadays, playing hard to get is a thing of them past. You meet, bang as early as that evening. And you last 30 years. Madonna whore complex only exists in man talk.
My point is that it’s not the sex that’s making it start or continue. Kwanzaa sex for men is just about relieving themselves, so let’s not mix issues, sex is sex, to release the sperm, same way you can have wet dreams. That’s why prostitution is so popular and common because sex is sex for men, it has nothing to do with your relationship or lack thereof with the man, men have sex with homeless women, with women they don’t know from a bar of soap, pardon the pun. Your argument holds water for some women maybe but men NO. And women sleep with their bosses to get ahead. I’m telling you the worst parameter to define a relationship with is sex. God intended that sex enhance rships but humans have completely perverted it to a point where the most abused and misused thing in the world is sex. Ati because me as a woman I am sleeping with you and not others so that makes you somehow special. So that means if I also sleep with my boss bcz I want a raise then you are no longer special to me ama?
Kama you haven’t given your man, mentally he is not in a relationship with you. Sleeping with your boss is a fling. Fun. Relieving his pressure. It’s not a relationship. But if you want to be his gf/ wife, you must sleep with him.
I suggest you watch primates on YouTube. The females only stay attached to the main man after they sleep with him.
Prostitution is pressure relief. Fantasy fulfillment. What your wife won’t do, she will.
Yes. The sex didn’t start the feelings and relationship engine. So she may have feelings for a guy she’s never had sex with and actually have a very meaningful, close and passionate relationship with him.
Prostitutes have husbands. They have sex all day with other men, so that primate argument does not hold water for them. A prostitute can love a man she’s never slept with and feel absolutely nothing for the men she sleeps with. I know it’s hard for men to see that sex can be insignificant emotionally for women. Men always like to think that women become emotionally attached to every man they have sex with. In fact it’s the man that they had feelings for before sex that sex would further attach them to. It’s not automatic. Otherwise all of these married women sleeping with their bosses would be attached to their bosses same way that they are attached to their husbands.