TBT: Masaibu yangu na wagithomo

#1
Sometime back nkiishi pale Ungwaro plot 10, ka singo room hivi keja ya mabati, wagithomo fulani akahamia hapo next door, mujamaa hanaga mambo mob. After a while akaleta what I initially thought was a female relative from gichagi hata nkaanza kumtupia mtama, only for them to start fucking secretly until I burst their bubble. She eventually ended up being his wife.

One time uncle Thio came visiting akahuria Njambi, some knock kneed sister reggae from the next mburoti ikabidi nmuwachie boycave abinjane. I was used to this idea that nkileta kunguru kwa keja lazima sound power ikue to drown the fake moans and so after kusetia Thio cassete ya C90 kwa tenje nkajitoa. Sijui nini alifanya kinanda yangu ikachoma IC, khasia yeye. I had to stay bila ngoma for sometime. So this day nkiwa home alone bila mbinjwa, lying on my safari bed looking at the ceiling deep in thoughts, some time past 10pm, I heard wagithomo's voice switch to a whisper. Out of curiosity I found myself straining my ears to hear what was going on. The one sentence that I clearly heard was, "wamum, ukuhe kanyamo umuthe?" and the kisokorokwinyo replied in the affirmative. Within no minutes naskia kelele za bed inakuwa occupied. Atleast some entertainment for a boring night.

Nkazima lights zangu and from a kashimo on the wall I squint my eye and managed to catch a little action from the romance session before kimwanaume kiamke kuzima stima. Without visuals haikubamba so nka abort mission, nkadondoka ka stool kangu and settled back on the bed cursing why he had to switch off the light. Hio ikapita hivo.

I had to work out a plan to watch the raw amateur movie whenever I got a chance and this meant I had to make another hole at a strategic position on the mabati wall to have a better view of the entire kasarani. Now the corinthian was a housewife who rarely went out apart from Sundays wakienda kanisa na pale kwa kibanda kufanya tu shopping, so I had to plan well for the right time to puncture the wall. After waiting for more than a week, I finally got the chance. Ilihappen nko mtaani since kibarua ilikosekana. Nmetulia tu kejani bila form naona amepita na karai yake akienda kwa bafu ikawa chance ndo hio. Chapchap nkakwachu kamawe hapo nje na msumari na kutoboa tu shimo tuwili at a vantage point and confirmed ziko sawa alaf nkatuliza. Madha kurudi kwa keja, ikabidi nifanye testing aking'ara. Nkapata view iko sawa na macho ikawa safi same time.

The fcuk sessions became the norm every other day, alafu wakimaliza wanafunga na maombi tena kwa sauti sana, disturbing everyone's peace. After enduring a week of torture, finally kinanda ikarudi kutoka kwa fundi and I was back to business if only to drown hizo kelele za maombi.

So the day being a friday I was prepared for their kesha chyeth and as always after supper na tuwimbo twa kisapere twa dini waka settle to their normal mucakwe session. Nkajiseti kwa ka view point na kushuhudia matukio yote and lucky for me that day hawakuzima stima. Hakuna kuvuana nguo, mambo ni kuipandisha tu juu adi kwa waist alafu chupi nayo inavurutwa kando kama curtain na kazi inaendelea. Wakamaliza kutoana taki na after kurelax kiasi wakafanya maombi na kulala.

They came to find out about my snooping in a very dramatic way when one day I fell from my watch tower while watching the action. I had done the uchunguliaji for quite sometime and the proverbial 40 days za mchunguliaji zikawadia. On that day waliamua kula uroda mapema, kama kawaida nkapanda stool na kujiseti at my usual position, my binoculars all set. Action ikaanza and with little to no foreplay mujamaa akatumbukiza na the corinthian akaanza kujichocha. This was a true demonstration of kula nyama mwingine akimezea mate.

Just when mzuka imeanza kupanda, ka sneeze kaka come through ..... Ile ku duck wasione tumacho nkakanyaga edge ya stool, mguu moja ika give in. Mimi huyoo adi chini na kelele ka zote. On my way down, nligonga ka ndoo ka maji pale juu ya kameza ka kitchen kaka angukia safari bed, mattress na branketi zika soak. Hapa nkajua wamejijazia nlikuwa na wamulika. From that day ilikuwa lazima wazime stima before katambe.

How would you feel kusikia your neighbour praying, for you to leave your wicked ways bila kujali? That's exactly what they did, pray for me to be delivered from hio anasa ya uchunguliaji among other vices and all this at night. I got tired of the loud incessant prayers and decided to play a game with them the following friday night.

I had earlier on armed myself na gomba and accompaniments, nkashiba poa na kuanza miti majioni ndo by the time they start their kesha nonsense niwape reply. It played out as per plan. Kama kawaida after kumaliza ngono wakaanza maombi mdogo bila kusumbua, but slowly sauti ikaanza kupanda. Whenever they started their noisy prayers I would counter charge with some loud rub a dub, and just to annoy them, I played 'goodhole college' by Red Dragon on the repeat, kama unaijua unajua. So whenever they raised their voice I would also raise the volume and when it got too noisy I would kill the volume suddenly only to leave them shouting in tongues. Wanashtuka and lower their voices only to gradually increase it again. Ikafika time sasa ni compe, rub a dub vs maombi adi wakachoka way past midnight, wakasema Amen na kutulia. Ilibidi wazime ibada pre maturely na mimi nkatuliza ngoma na kuanza kuwatch movie nikiendelea na mbachu. Mission accomplished.

This became the drill every fridays, adi amadioha akachoka na mimi. They always say when amadioha is not happy with you, he strikes where it matters most. Share yangu ilikam vinoma tu sana. It so happen, kuna boy wa mtaani alimanyuria so nkaenda huko kesha atleast ku condole na familia.

Ngware kufika nkadandia mbathi na kushuka mtaani. Nkapitia kwa kibandaski ya Anyole na kukwachu ndunya ka tatu hivi za kuteremshia ka turungi before njiwekelee. Nafungua gate kuingia kwa ploti, guess nani nakutana naye .... bibi ya wagithomo and for the first time in a longtime akanigotea. Alaf as if she had forgoten a vvvv important message akaniuliza, "na btw haukulala kwako?" Nkamuuliza why ... ati aliamka asubuhi akakuta mngola yangu iko wide open. Hata sikugoja amalize, mimi huyo nduki adi kejani.

Kufika boy cave hakuna kila kitu, keja iko swafi kama pamba. The only remaining stuff was my two rusted stools, kameza na ka frame ka safari bed pekee. So nko hapo kwa mlango nmezuba na ndunya zangu kwa mkono ju ata stove na sufuria zilichotwa. Beddings plus mattress missing. Now who to ask for what. Wagithomo na bibi yake were the last option to ask anything besides it was a blessing to them as there would be no more compe from the plot champe.

Reported the matter to the stupid police who were of vvvv little help to me. Ikabaki kupambana na hali yangu sahio muhindi naye alishani chuja works. Where do I even start. Hapa ilibidi nitii.
 
#13
Sometime back nkiishi pale Ungwaro plot 10, ka singo room hivi keja ya mabati, wagithomo fulani akahamia hapo next door, mujamaa hanaga mambo mob. After a while akaleta what I initially thought was a female relative from gichagi hata nkaanza kumtupia mtama, only for them to start fucking secretly until I burst their bubble. She eventually ended up being his wife.

One time uncle Thio came visiting akahuria Njambi, some knock kneed sister reggae from the next mburoti ikabidi nmuwachie boycave abinjane. I was used to this idea that nkileta kunguru kwa keja lazima sound power ikue to drown the fake moans and so after kusetia Thio cassete ya C90 kwa tenje nkajitoa. Sijui nini alifanya kinanda yangu ikachoma IC, khasia yeye. I had to stay bila ngoma for sometime. So this day nkiwa home alone bila mbinjwa, lying on my safari bed looking at the ceiling deep in thoughts, some time past 10pm, I heard wagithomo's voice switch to a whisper. Out of curiosity I found myself straining my ears to hear what was going on. The one sentence that I clearly heard was, "wamum, ukuhe kanyamo umuthe?" and the kisokorokwinyo replied in the affirmative. Within no minutes naskia kelele za bed inakuwa occupied. Atleast some entertainment for a boring night.

Nkazima lights zangu and from a kashimo on the wall I squint my eye and managed to catch a little action from the romance session before kimwanaume kiamke kuzima stima. Without visuals haikubamba so nka abort mission, nkadondoka ka stool kangu and settled back on the bed cursing why he had to switch off the light. Hio ikapita hivo.

I had to work out a plan to watch the raw amateur movie whenever I got a chance and this meant I had to make another hole at a strategic position on the mabati wall to have a better view of the entire kasarani. Now the corinthian was a housewife who rarely went out apart from Sundays wakienda kanisa na pale kwa kibanda kufanya tu shopping, so I had to plan well for the right time to puncture the wall. After waiting for more than a week, I finally got the chance. Ilihappen nko mtaani since kibarua ilikosekana. Nmetulia tu kejani bila form naona amepita na karai yake akienda kwa bafu ikawa chance ndo hio. Chapchap nkakwachu kamawe hapo nje na msumari na kutoboa tu shimo tuwili at a vantage point and confirmed ziko sawa alaf nkatuliza. Madha kurudi kwa keja, ikabidi nifanye testing aking'ara. Nkapata view iko sawa na macho ikawa safi same time.

The fcuk sessions became the norm every other day, alafu wakimaliza wanafunga na maombi tena kwa sauti sana, disturbing everyone's peace. After enduring a week of torture, finally kinanda ikarudi kutoka kwa fundi and I was back to business if only to drown hizo kelele za maombi.

So the day being a friday I was prepared for their kesha chyeth and as always after supper na tuwimbo twa kisapere twa dini waka settle to their normal mucakwe session. Nkajiseti kwa ka view point na kushuhudia matukio yote and lucky for me that day hawakuzima stima. Hakuna kuvuana nguo, mambo ni kuipandisha tu juu adi kwa waist alafu chupi nayo inavurutwa kando kama curtain na kazi inaendelea. Wakamaliza kutoana taki na after kurelax kiasi wakafanya maombi na kulala.

They came to find out about my snooping in a very dramatic way when one day I fell from my watch tower while watching the action. I had done the uchunguliaji for quite sometime and the proverbial 40 days za mchunguliaji zikawadia. On that day waliamua kula uroda mapema, kama kawaida nkapanda stool na kujiseti at my usual position, my binoculars all set. Action ikaanza and with little to no foreplay mujamaa akatumbukiza na the corinthian akaanza kujichocha. This was a true demonstration of kula nyama mwingine akimezea mate.

Just when mzuka imeanza kupanda, ka sneeze kaka come through ..... Ile ku duck wasione tumacho nkakanyaga edge ya stool, mguu moja ika give in. Mimi huyoo adi chini na kelele ka zote. On my way down, nligonga ka ndoo ka maji pale juu ya kameza ka kitchen kaka angukia safari bed, mattress na branketi zika soak. Hapa nkajua wamejijazia nlikuwa na wamulika. From that day ilikuwa lazima wazime stima before katambe.

How would you feel kusikia your neighbour praying, for you to leave your wicked ways bila kujali? That's exactly what they did, pray for me to be delivered from hio anasa ya uchunguliaji among other vices and all this at night. I got tired of the loud incessant prayers and decided to play a game with them the following friday night.

I had earlier on armed myself na gomba and accompaniments, nkashiba poa na kuanza miti majioni ndo by the time they start their kesha nonsense niwape reply. It played out as per plan. Kama kawaida after kumaliza ngono wakaanza maombi mdogo bila kusumbua, but slowly sauti ikaanza kupanda. Whenever they started their noisy prayers I would counter charge with some loud rub a dub, and just to annoy them, I played 'goodhole college' by Red Dragon on the repeat, kama unaijua unajua. So whenever they raised their voice I would also raise the volume and when it got too noisy I would kill the volume suddenly only to leave them shouting in tongues. Wanashtuka and lower their voices only to gradually increase it again. Ikafika time sasa ni compe, rub a dub vs maombi adi wakachoka way past midnight, wakasema Amen na kutulia. Ilibidi wazime ibada pre maturely na mimi nkatuliza ngoma na kuanza kuwatch movie nikiendelea na mbachu. Mission accomplished.

This became the drill every fridays, adi amadioha akachoka na mimi. They always say when amadioha is not happy with you, he strikes where it matters most. Share yangu ilikam vinoma tu sana. It so happen, kuna boy wa mtaani alimanyuria so nkaenda huko kesha atleast ku condole na familia.

Ngware kufika nkadandia mbathi na kushuka mtaani. Nkapitia kwa kibandaski ya Anyole na kukwachu ndunya ka tatu hivi za kuteremshia ka turungi before njiwekelee. Nafungua gate kuingia kwa ploti, guess nani nakutana naye .... bibi ya wagithomo and for the first time in a longtime akanigotea. Alaf as if she had forgoten a vvvv important message akaniuliza, "na btw haukulala kwako?" Nkamuuliza why ... ati aliamka asubuhi akakuta mngola yangu iko wide open. Hata sikugoja amalize, mimi huyo nduki adi kejani.

Kufika boy cave hakuna kila kitu, keja iko swafi kama pamba. The only remaining stuff was my two rusted stools, kameza na ka frame ka safari bed pekee. So nko hapo kwa mlango nmezuba na ndunya zangu kwa mkono ju ata stove na sufuria zilichotwa. Beddings plus mattress missing. Now who to ask for what. Wagithomo na bibi yake were the last option to ask anything besides it was a blessing to them as there would be no more compe from the plot champe.

Reported the matter to the stupid police who were of vvvv little help to me. Ikabaki kupambana na hali yangu sahio muhindi naye alishani chuja works. Where do I even start. Hapa ilibidi nitii.
:D:D:DMad man pounding the streets of Dawha. Saa zingine mimi hurumia hao warabu wenzako.....Bril hekaya.
 
#17
ku duck wasione tumacho nkakanyaga edge ya stool, mguu moja ika give in. Heavy weight manenos Mimi huyoo adi chini na kelele ka zote
Na ukiwatch saraksi kasarani hiyo position ulikua unapanda ujiset angle correct haukua unachoka?????? na imagine msito kush amesmama kwa mikono za stool, eish!!!!, lakini ujeuri yako ulikula, mpaka unaombewa na bado cinema huachi kuona, isizidi waongeza sauti ya retio wakati wa ibada, AMADIOHA WAS SO ANGRY
 

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