Most of you might by now have realized that I’m not Tanzania’s biggest fan. This is mostly as a result of their dilly dallying on matters concerning the EAC. I mean, they like to be coaxed into adopting everything. And they view Kenyans the same way we view West Africans. Like we’re drug dealing, women stealing, POS conmen. Don’t even get me started on their kiswahili sanifu/mufti/whatever. Friends, reading Kiswahili sanifu is a real pain in the ass, at least for me it is. That’s why I don’t go nowhere near Jamiiforums. Most threads start innocently in English, but by the time you reach the comments section, the language mutates into something else altogether. For me, reading Swahili sanifu is no different from reading this:
http://popsych.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/math.jpg
Same fucking difference, you know?
I’ve come to realize that whenever I come across Kiswahili sanifu, my body starts acting funny. I start experiencing chest pains, lightheadedness, shortness of breath and general discomfort. These sound eerily similar to symptoms exhibited by people who suffer cardiac arrest.
Anyway, let’s zoom in on their music industry. For all their shortcomings, these swahili sanifu speaking mother-lovers make better music than Kenyans, generally speaking. Let’s give the devil his due. When Kenyans are rapping about matako, kaselfie, chapa ilale and all that other retarded crap, these guys make songs that can be listened to by the entire family. And even when they decide to go the matako/kaselfie/chapa ilale route, they do it in a way that the entire family can still listen to the song, but understand it differently, depending on how old and/or perceptive one is. Case in point: Mama Ntilie by Gelly and Ray C. Btw, there was a time when the Bongo wave had swept this country so seriously that even kenyan artistes started adopting that funny Tz accent. Now Bongo is associated with housegirls and people who’ve just checked in from the countryside. Sure, we still have the Ali Kibas and Diamonds, but still…
Ok, to Professor Jay now (finally!!!). This is without a doubt one of TZ’s music heavyweights. I don’t know what he does nowadays, but back then, this nigga was on point like a mother. And he made music that addressed social issues, like the song Msinitenge, which addressed the issue of stigma suffered by HIV/AIDS victims. But there are three songs that he made that have fascinated me for a long time. They take a dig at politicians of course.
The first is Ndio Mzee, in which a political candidate addresses a rally. While asking for votes, he makes absolutely ridiculous promises. Some include:
Bringing them piped water and milk
Buying helicopters for every policeman
Giving every farmer a tractor
Sharing what little he has with the people etc
The youtube video is shit, qualitywise…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQwk0gjpSGU
The second song is titled Kikao Cha Dharura, or simply Sio Mzee. The politician, after getting elected, predictably puts his interests first. So he’s been summoned to an impromptu meeting to explain why he hasn’t implemented his campaign promises. Of course he gives all manner of excuses. But it’s when the people start questioning him on specific promises that his arrogance comes out.
When asked about the piped milk, he requests them to “please ask mature questions”
On the issue of helicopters for all policemen, he asks them to master bicycles first. Besides, with all those choppers in the sky, there’d be lots of air accidents.
Basically he asks everyone to carry their own cross.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjZUK_L4ZB8
In the final song, Nang’atuka, the politician is stepping down as a result of his conscience catching up with him. In the song it sounds like a “western style” resignation, where one resigns because they’ve been incompetent. We all know African politicians only “resign” after getting fired. Anyway, he profusely apologizes for his sins and repents. This to me is the most powerful of the three songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7Y7QifgtnQ
While asking for forgiveness, he lists all the things he did wrong:
Kura zikawa kula, nikaishi kwa milungula
Niliona bora uongozi, si uongozi bora
Kwenye wodi ya wazazi nilijua hali ni mbaya, ndio maana kimada (?) wangu alienda kutibiwa ulaya.
Sikupinga nchi yangu kuwa ya kitu kidogo, pia nilifurahi kuhalalisha hongo
Siku zote niliamini toa mali upate mali, na kubebesha maskini magunia ya misumari
.
.
.Needless to say, that’s some powerful shit right there.