There comes a time in a bachelor’s life Mungu hukukumbuka. When it reaches a point ur dic forms contours to match your favorite palm and it generally looks like imekukasirikia, devine pussy intervention ni muhimu.
Such a day happened to me back nikiishi mayakos. A long term friend finally decided to come over for super after job. I made sure ingredients za chakula ziko but i didn’t cook. Na wine. (It never lets me down) Something about a lady in skirt or dress gets to me. Alipofika tu in the tight official dress up, i felt abdala flexing. Leo ni leo! The wine worked magic. Friendship boundaries were trashed. shot ya kwanza while water was boiling… And continued through the night like a boss. Na morning roundi ya mwisho bila CD. Siku ya kufa ni moja
Working ladies are the best kwa kujitoa, departure time: 0540hrs
Nikiwa bed enjoying the post threshold sleep naskia knock. Kucheki, ni 0630hrs, thought she left something, only to find my young cousin’s friend from clubbing:
“naweza oga kwako please, siwezi enda home nikiwa hivi and i need to change. Hao maboy tulikuwa nao siwaoni poa… Your cuzo tried calling u but uko mteja” i remembered her from a bash i had hosted kwangu.
“Na kwani unakunywa wine ka dem?” i had to take the blame since hakukuwa na evidence of other company. After kunicheka for drinking wine juu ya loneliness, it wasnt hard to get slices. I mean, dem ameleweshwa na anakuja kutoa nguo kwako… Sadaka ntaongeza next church visit, promised myself. Shot moja ilinitosha. And while she was showering again nikawasha simu, texts mbili zikaingia: “im horny leo” “im on my way, niko kwa mat ya macha”
This was my FWB from nai, to her i was more, but haikuwa shida yangu. Beautiful yellow yellow kamba lady from who knew how to fuck, she would take family planning pills weeks before visiting coz hataki mchezo.
I had to get ready for her, which involved getting rid of the young lady kwa shower. Wasn’t hard, but not before apike a protein rich breakfast for her heavy head and my rejuvenation. Departure time: 1130hrs
Dem wa nairobi kufika, i tried delay tactics by having my boy, a neighbor, hang around to buy time to build an appetite. Dem alimshow roho safi atu excuse! I had to surmon all the energy in me kufikisha dem cloud 9 several times. Hadi time yake ya kuenda. Departure time 1800hrs.
On my way back home after kumsindikiza, nikaitia supermarket kununua cans kadhaa za kushukuru mwili. Nikapata na another ‘friend’ akimaliza shift yake as promoter wa Unilever products… Somehow accepts to pass by my place after seeing my kikapu with drinks. I returned the white cap cans and got a whiskey instead. Needless to say… Things went well. Shot moja tu. Departure time: 2130hrs
With whiskey in the system, and the good luck spree on my side, niliamua kufika hornbill to cap my day…
So wadau, always plants seeds kwingi, maintain good relations. Siku moja the stars line up and spell ur name