my day my story
sema kuamka na mikosi bin bad luck . i woke up as usual when a customer rang my phone at around 6.30a.m requesting for 6kg Total gas cylinder .
mimi huyo chapchap nikapiga shower na kupiga mswaki, mimi huyo kwa motorbike hadi place ya job . nikachukua the cylinder and delivered to the customer , just made an awesome 200 bob profit , not a bad way to start the day .
i survey the workplace , check the bulbs naona ziko mingi, i check other electrical gadgets naona kuna stock ya kutosha nothing to add. i then check the cylinders n realise like 12 are empty n need a refill .
but before going for the refill , i take a cup of tea at mama wa kibanda n some hot mandazis , this norm for me been a bachelor no time for cooking , plus i hate cooking i waste lots of time doing so.
minutes later ave tied all the cylinders in my yamaha bike , the cylinders are well arranged 3 per sack , meaning i only needed 4 sacks . and am on my way to the refill deport .
kufika kwa deport , the gateman says hie as i drve in , m well known in this deport they call me kamaa or jamaa wa helicopter . my bike has this crazy exhaust pipe u would confuse it for a subaru if u havent seen it.
kuingia the refill is done chapchap , this are those places u dont idle much msiangukiwe , if u know wat i mean .
i leave the place and wen am 800m away , this brown guy on the road pavement waves for me to stop as i enter the busy highway , kuna some sought of jam , juu kuna lorry inaenda pole pole mbele . i can sense something terrible is about to happen n there is no way i can overtake the lorry coz kando ni ditch.
ghafla bin vuu, a white forester overtakes me at great speed then krisskrosses my way blocking me from passing , men in blue wave at me to stop pointing GUNS at me , am like kwani nimeua mtu au ?
“simama nungu hii” a lady cop shouts at me pushing the bike on the lami , another cop points the gun in my head and am like , "lord receive this boy , save me lord ".
"mikono juu ya hewa " another orders me , i follow their demands and they handcuff me .
the scene has attracted a crowd , some shouting " nini mbaya macharia wa kamau ?" seems am well known by some onlookers .
the cops throw the cylinders at the boot of the car , as another guy i guess is a cop dressed in civilian drives the bike away .
"sema umejaziwa wapi hii gas " a lady also dressed in civilian asks me , she has a scar on her jaws ni kama huyu aliumwa na bwanake no wonder ana machungu ivo. i choose to stay mute wanipeleke kwenye watanipeleka .
they push me at the back sit n i sit amidst the cops …
part 2 coming wacha nipelekee customer gas , no one can stop reggae
my story my day
part 2 coming wacha nipelekee customer gas , no one can stop reggae
part 2 …
the car drives back towards the direction i came from , am there handcuffed ready to meet new fwds in kamiti or shimo la tewa if thats where this fucking scenario will lead .
“nyinyi ndio mnamaliza multinationals kama total n k-gas ya baba kazi eeeeeh” a brown lady , i suspect is working for ERC siting next to the driver says .
" brathe wewe kama huna 20k sioni ukitoka , ni wewe na jela na fine ya millioni kumi " a fat cop tells me as he laughs . unaware am used to this tactics of selling me cold "kuniuzia woga "…hehehe wajui nimeona mengi wacha hii stupid scene they are creating .
on our way back they meet face to face with another dude with a motorbike na mitungi zake za gas … gari inapigwa brakes mbele yake anaanguka kwa ukuta fulani (perimeter face ya kampuni ya chuma ) . jamaa wa watu wacha ashukishwe juu na makofi . pia yeye analetwa ndani tunafugwa pingu moja, mimi nimefungwa mkono ya right yeye ya left , so squeezing ourselves inside the sit sio mchezo …the journey continues , another victim na kagari ka NOAH naye anashikwa . am suspecting there is someone selling us out from the deports .
funny enough they drive 3 of us to a depot i have never refilled , mle ndani 6 more are arrested , they threaten us bla bla bla bla , kwa bahati nzuri au mbaya the owner of this depot anaingia , as for him he is treated like a human not like us who are treated like dogs .
the company workers continue with their work unbothered by what is happening .
the depot owner walk aside with a group of ERC guys together with the cops , they talk for a long time roughly 30 mins and walk back laughing , those who had been arrested in the depot part away with 10k and are set free . we are left two of us , me and the nduthi guy arrested earlier .
they had confiscated my phone, they give it back and ask me to call someone to send me 20k the set me free, i bargain n we reach to a conclusion of 4k else niende ndani, the depot owner denies knowing me , ni ukweli huyu hanijui but si angenitetea . the nduthi guy fulizas 2k and hands them 2k . he too is let free . nimebaki pekee yangu sasa na hawa mafisi .
a lady cop pulls me aside , "bro chotaa kitu sipendi kuona youths wakishikwa hawa majamaa si wapoa " she tells me , she introduces herself to me as "kale ka slayqueen " ,
"ok lemmi call someone " i tell her … i call my buddy -JM- who immediately sends me 3k, hehehe how fast , i call my uncle he sends me 9k , damn i call siz she sends me 10k , then call one last person who sends me 1200…kumbe i have friends , i decide to post in my whatsapp group hadithi za mwalimu macharia wa kamau about the misfortune n the online guys send me kitu 4k…
the slayqueen seems to see how connected i am n asks if am single of which i reply yes n we exchange contacts , aki mimi .
i sukumia the karao 3k via withdraw to a remote paybill agent which reads kasarani …this niggas are smart wanajua naweza reverse hiyo pesa … they then delete the text .
am now their buddy , they return my cylinders and give me their numbers to call them incase m harrased in future ......damn this is kenya .........
for now m sex chatting with the askari slayqueen na nikama anadai …
tommorow pia ni siku that was mah day …"waiter leta jug mbili hii meza "