The cops : my day my story

my day my story

sema kuamka na mikosi bin bad luck . i woke up as usual when a customer rang my phone at around 6.30a.m requesting for 6kg Total gas cylinder .

mimi huyo chapchap nikapiga shower na kupiga mswaki, mimi huyo kwa motorbike hadi place ya job . nikachukua the cylinder and delivered to the customer , just made an awesome 200 bob profit , not a bad way to start the day .

i survey the workplace , check the bulbs naona ziko mingi, i check other electrical gadgets naona kuna stock ya kutosha nothing to add. i then check the cylinders n realise like 12 are empty n need a refill .

but before going for the refill , i take a cup of tea at mama wa kibanda n some hot mandazis , this norm for me been a bachelor no time for cooking , plus i hate cooking i waste lots of time doing so.

minutes later ave tied all the cylinders in my yamaha bike , the cylinders are well arranged 3 per sack , meaning i only needed 4 sacks . and am on my way to the refill deport .

kufika kwa deport , the gateman says hie as i drve in , m well known in this deport they call me kamaa or jamaa wa helicopter . my bike has this crazy exhaust pipe u would confuse it for a subaru if u havent seen it.

kuingia the refill is done chapchap , this are those places u dont idle much msiangukiwe , if u know wat i mean .

i leave the place and wen am 800m away , this brown guy on the road pavement waves for me to stop as i enter the busy highway , kuna some sought of jam , juu kuna lorry inaenda pole pole mbele . i can sense something terrible is about to happen n there is no way i can overtake the lorry coz kando ni ditch.

ghafla bin vuu, a white forester overtakes me at great speed then krisskrosses my way blocking me from passing , men in blue wave at me to stop pointing GUNS at me , am like kwani nimeua mtu au ?

“simama nungu hii” a lady cop shouts at me pushing the bike on the lami , another cop points the gun in my head and am like , "lord receive this boy , save me lord ".

"mikono juu ya hewa " another orders me , i follow their demands and they handcuff me .

the scene has attracted a crowd , some shouting " nini mbaya macharia wa kamau ?" seems am well known by some onlookers .

the cops throw the cylinders at the boot of the car , as another guy i guess is a cop dressed in civilian drives the bike away .

"sema umejaziwa wapi hii gas " a lady also dressed in civilian asks me , she has a scar on her jaws ni kama huyu aliumwa na bwanake no wonder ana machungu ivo. i choose to stay mute wanipeleke kwenye watanipeleka .

they push me at the back sit n i sit amidst the cops …

part 2 coming wacha nipelekee customer gas , no one can stop reggae
my story my day

part 2 coming wacha nipelekee customer gas , no one can stop reggae

part 2 …

the car drives back towards the direction i came from , am there handcuffed ready to meet new fwds in kamiti or shimo la tewa if thats where this fucking scenario will lead .

“nyinyi ndio mnamaliza multinationals kama total n k-gas ya baba kazi eeeeeh” a brown lady , i suspect is working for ERC siting next to the driver says .

" brathe wewe kama huna 20k sioni ukitoka , ni wewe na jela na fine ya millioni kumi " a fat cop tells me as he laughs . unaware am used to this tactics of selling me cold "kuniuzia woga "…hehehe wajui nimeona mengi wacha hii stupid scene they are creating .

on our way back they meet face to face with another dude with a motorbike na mitungi zake za gas … gari inapigwa brakes mbele yake anaanguka kwa ukuta fulani (perimeter face ya kampuni ya chuma ) . jamaa wa watu wacha ashukishwe juu na makofi . pia yeye analetwa ndani tunafugwa pingu moja, mimi nimefungwa mkono ya right yeye ya left , so squeezing ourselves inside the sit sio mchezo …the journey continues , another victim na kagari ka NOAH naye anashikwa . am suspecting there is someone selling us out from the deports .

funny enough they drive 3 of us to a depot i have never refilled , mle ndani 6 more are arrested , they threaten us bla bla bla bla , kwa bahati nzuri au mbaya the owner of this depot anaingia , as for him he is treated like a human not like us who are treated like dogs .

the company workers continue with their work unbothered by what is happening .

the depot owner walk aside with a group of ERC guys together with the cops , they talk for a long time roughly 30 mins and walk back laughing , those who had been arrested in the depot part away with 10k and are set free . we are left two of us , me and the nduthi guy arrested earlier .

they had confiscated my phone, they give it back and ask me to call someone to send me 20k the set me free, i bargain n we reach to a conclusion of 4k else niende ndani, the depot owner denies knowing me , ni ukweli huyu hanijui but si angenitetea . the nduthi guy fulizas 2k and hands them 2k . he too is let free . nimebaki pekee yangu sasa na hawa mafisi .

a lady cop pulls me aside , "bro chotaa kitu sipendi kuona youths wakishikwa hawa majamaa si wapoa " she tells me , she introduces herself to me as "kale ka slayqueen " ,

"ok lemmi call someone " i tell her … i call my buddy -JM- who immediately sends me 3k, hehehe how fast , i call my uncle he sends me 9k , damn i call siz she sends me 10k , then call one last person who sends me 1200…kumbe i have friends , i decide to post in my whatsapp group hadithi za mwalimu macharia wa kamau about the misfortune n the online guys send me kitu 4k…

the slayqueen seems to see how connected i am n asks if am single of which i reply yes n we exchange contacts , aki mimi .

i sukumia the karao 3k via withdraw to a remote paybill agent which reads kasarani …this niggas are smart wanajua naweza reverse hiyo pesa … they then delete the text .

  am now their   buddy , they return my cylinders and give me their numbers to call them incase m harrased in future ......damn this is kenya .........

for now m sex chatting with the askari slayqueen na nikama anadai …

tommorow pia ni siku that was mah day …"waiter leta jug mbili hii meza "

Damn this kenya
Umwage ndaaaaani kabisa

Bad boys what you gonna do when they come for you

Saturday nilishikwa na Yamaha pia. niliwapea 400 bob. By the way which yamaha can handle the weight of all those cylinders?

Mine is modified …modified the sit

Masha, never a dull day in your life! What I find most amusing is how corrupt cops feature constantly in your escapades. Aki D minus watamaliza kenya.

ps: dump that slayqueen

i agree he should dump her…but after he has completely dismantled that pussy

Hapo sawa Macha wa Kama.

Wacha amwage ndani ndaaaaaaani ndani!

Kama ni Thika Thika nichanue mapema juu Kuna vile shop Ina run low

Ni thika brathe nilikuwa natoka kwa mojos

Most of your stories Kamau are always on point and real life kabisa. Lakini hapo kwa slayqueen cop naona umeongeza Sodium Chloride kiasi :smiley: