chicha
September 21, 2017, 1:12pm
1
It’s been a while since I last posted kwa hii kijiji. Straight to the hekaya… There was a time I used to live in umo. Ka ploti had only 3 units na out of which 1 ilikuwa ya a yellow yellow singo matha ( technically not because husband/ boyfriend ako majuu for further studies- I later came to know ). Anyways my Mrs was not always around coz alikuwa na kwake and used to visit on Friday’s through to Sunday so her schedule was quite predictable and I think the neighbour noticed… She started being way too friendly, blunder ilianzia after we exchanged contacts, kazi ikanzA kuwa late night chats, mara inviting me for dinner or sometimes just cooking and bringing food to my house. Sasa siku moja akanishow magizani around 8 ati she’s bored na hana kitu ya kufanya…nikamshow avuke coz I had bought some movies… Deal mara that… Akasema anangoja mtoi alale ndio akwome…kidogo kidogo a soft knock kwa mlango… His majesty akadouble check kama hao is inviting coz nilikuwa nishajiambia hapa lazima nitapewa read only access to the server as the irreducible minimum so lazima nisichome picha… Piga kasocks chini ya couch baaaas supreme Court is ready for the petition… Mimi huyo kwa mlango na smile kama vile my fren hufurahi akiona siamba…kufungua hivi jirani alikuwa amechapa Ka nighty see through Ile ya kuwrap na vile mimi ni mrefu I just saw from a birds eye view through the clevege (grammar nazi you are free to correct) hadi kwa mukonyo nikajua baas kumbe Canaan si mbali… She pushed me in akisema unataka tuonekane… I gladly obliged.nikamwambia karibu na feel at home…nikamshow I have some food in the fridge, akasema amekula maybe if I have some juice… When I went to her some juice in the kitchen mimi nampata ameketi in such a way thabutha is nearly showing kidogo kidogo mimi nikaaza kujenga tent kwa thuruari… I think she noticed coz she smiled sheepishly na kupanua just enough to tease even some more… I served her na nikaketi… Ikabidi nimeanza kastory hivi as I tried to focus my mind elsewhere nikingoja jemedari atulie ndio niweke movie… Hata kabla sijashukisha bendera akasema kwani hutaki kuweka movie? Kwisha mimi, I didn’t have an option but kusimama na tent yangu hadi kwa TV… She was just chuckling the whole while… Anyway vile tu niliketi she was all over me… To cut the story short nilipewa slices as the full access to the server was granted with all the logs na threshold ilifika… Dry fry though… Siku nilipata text after a few weeks ati kwani Ile siku ulinifuck ilikuwa lini? Hapo ndio exit plan nilianza kukachora… Sikungoja deposit.
54 Likes
Tajiri
September 21, 2017, 1:20pm
2
chicha:
It’s been a while since I last posted kwa hii kijiji. Straight to the hekaya… There was a time I used to live in umo. Ka ploti had only 3 units na out of which 1 ilikuwa ya a yellow yellow singo matha ( technically not because husband/ boyfriend ako majuu for further studies- I later came to know ). Anyways my Mrs was not always around coz alikuwa na kwake and used to visit on Friday’s through to Sunday so her schedule was quite predictable and I think the neighbour noticed… She started being way too friendly, blunder ilianzia after we exchanged contacts, kazi ikanzA kuwa late night chats, mara inviting me for dinner or sometimes just cooking and bringing food to my house. Sasa siku moja akanishow magizani around 8 ati she’s bored na hana kitu ya kufanya…nikamshow avuke coz I had bought some movies… Deal mara that… Akasema anangoja mtoi alale ndio akwome…kidogo kidogo a soft knock kwa mlango… His majesty akadouble check kama hao is inviting coz nilikuwa nishajiambia hapa lazima nitapewa read only access to the server as the irreducible minimum so lazima nisichome picha… Piga kasocks chini ya couch baaaas supreme Court is ready for the petition… Mimi huyo kwa mlango na smile kama vile my fren hufurahi akiona siamba…kufungua hivi jirani alikuwa amechapa Ka nighty see through Ile ya kuwrap na vile mimi ni mrefu I just saw from a birds eye view through the clevege (grammar nazi you are free to correct) hadi kwa mukonyo nikajua baas kumbe Canaan si mbali… She pushed me in akisema unataka tuonekane… I gladly obliged.nikamwambia karibu na feel at home…nikamshow I have some food in the fridge, akasema amekula maybe if I have some juice… When I went to her some juice in the kitchen mimi nampata ameketi in such a way thabutha is nearly showing kidogo kidogo mimi nikaaza kujenga tent kwa thuruari… I think she noticed coz she smiled sheepishly na kupanua just enough to tease even some more… I served her na nikaketi… Ikabidi nimeanza kastory hivi as I tried to focus my mind elsewhere nikingoja jemedari atulie ndio niweke movie… Hata kabla sijashukisha bendera akasema kwani hutaki kuweka movie? Kwisha mimi, I didn’t have an option but kusimama na tent yangu hadi kwa TV… She was just chuckling the whole while… Anyway vile tu niliketi she was all over me… To cut the story short nilipewa slices as the full access to the server was granted with all the logs na threshold ilifika… Dry fry though… Siku nilipata text after a few weeks ati kwani Ile siku ulinifuck ilikuwa lini? Hapo ndio exit plan nilianza kukachora… Sikungoja deposit.
Siku nilipata text after a few weeks ati kwani Ile siku ulinifuck ilikuwa lini? Hapo ndio exit plan nilianza kukachora… Sikungoja deposit. lol
6 Likes
roots
September 21, 2017, 1:26pm
3
[SIZE=7]mnasema nini[/SIZE]
hekaya on point!..flow on point!..figurative phrases on point!..length on point!
3 Likes
system
September 21, 2017, 2:03pm
6
:D:D:D:D:D
You have a child out there somewhere.
Surely if you guys keep doing this your kids will marry one another and we will have an increase of mongoloids in the country.
Hekaya timam!
22 Likes
chicha:
It’s been a while since I last posted kwa hii kijiji. Straight to the hekaya… There was a time I used to live in umo. Ka ploti had only 3 units na out of which 1 ilikuwa ya a yellow yellow singo matha ( technically not because husband/ boyfriend ako majuu for further studies- I later came to know ). Anyways my Mrs was not always around coz alikuwa na kwake and used to visit on Friday’s through to Sunday so her schedule was quite predictable and I think the neighbour noticed… She started being way too friendly, blunder ilianzia after we exchanged contacts, kazi ikanzA kuwa late night chats, mara inviting me for dinner or sometimes just cooking and bringing food to my house. Sasa siku moja akanishow magizani around 8 ati she’s bored na hana kitu ya kufanya…nikamshow avuke coz I had bought some movies… Deal mara that… Akasema anangoja mtoi alale ndio akwome…kidogo kidogo a soft knock kwa mlango… His majesty akadouble check kama hao is inviting coz nilikuwa nishajiambia hapa lazima nitapewa read only access to the server as the irreducible minimum so lazima nisichome picha… Piga kasocks chini ya couch baaaas supreme Court is ready for the petition… Mimi huyo kwa mlango na smile kama vile my fren hufurahi akiona siamba…kufungua hivi jirani alikuwa amechapa Ka nighty see through Ile ya kuwrap na vile mimi ni mrefu I just saw from a birds eye view through the clevege (grammar nazi you are free to correct) hadi kwa mukonyo nikajua baas kumbe Canaan si mbali… She pushed me in akisema unataka tuonekane… I gladly obliged.nikamwambia karibu na feel at home…nikamshow I have some food in the fridge, akasema amekula maybe if I have some juice… When I went to her some juice in the kitchen mimi nampata ameketi in such a way thabutha is nearly showing kidogo kidogo mimi nikaaza kujenga tent kwa thuruari… I think she noticed coz she smiled sheepishly na kupanua just enough to tease even some more… I served her na nikaketi… Ikabidi nimeanza kastory hivi as I tried to focus my mind elsewhere nikingoja jemedari atulie ndio niweke movie… Hata kabla sijashukisha bendera akasema kwani hutaki kuweka movie? Kwisha mimi, I didn’t have an option but kusimama na tent yangu hadi kwa TV… She was just chuckling the whole while… Anyway vile tu niliketi she was all over me… To cut the story short nilipewa slices as the full access to the server was granted with all the logs na threshold ilifika… Dry fry though… Siku nilipata text after a few weeks ati kwani Ile siku ulinifuck ilikuwa lini? Hapo ndio exit plan nilianza kukachora… Sikungoja deposit.
Nilikuwa natoa hiyo bold tu
system
September 21, 2017, 2:18pm
8
Next week naenda Co-op bank kusikia vile nitakopa Isuzu FSR… Najua sio Turela…but si ni lorry pia
3 Likes
mswazi
September 21, 2017, 2:19pm
9
chicha:
It’s been a while since I last posted kwa hii kijiji. Straight to the hekaya… There was a time I used to live in umo. Ka ploti had only 3 units na out of which 1 ilikuwa ya a yellow yellow singo matha ( technically not because husband/ boyfriend ako majuu for further studies- I later came to know ). Anyways my Mrs was not always around coz alikuwa na kwake and used to visit on Friday’s through to Sunday so her schedule was quite predictable and I think the neighbour noticed… She started being way too friendly, blunder ilianzia after we exchanged contacts, kazi ikanzA kuwa late night chats, mara inviting me for dinner or sometimes just cooking and bringing food to my house. Sasa siku moja akanishow magizani around 8 ati she’s bored na hana kitu ya kufanya…nikamshow avuke coz I had bought some movies… Deal mara that… Akasema anangoja mtoi alale ndio akwome…kidogo kidogo a soft knock kwa mlango… His majesty akadouble check kama hao is inviting coz nilikuwa nishajiambia hapa lazima nitapewa read only access to the server as the irreducible minimum so lazima nisichome picha… Piga kasocks chini ya couch baaaas supreme Court is ready for the petition… Mimi huyo kwa mlango na smile kama vile my fren hufurahi akiona siamba…kufungua hivi jirani alikuwa amechapa Ka nighty see through Ile ya kuwrap na vile mimi ni mrefu I just saw from a birds eye view through the clevege (grammar nazi you are free to correct) hadi kwa mukonyo nikajua baas kumbe Canaan si mbali… She pushed me in akisema unataka tuonekane… I gladly obliged.nikamwambia karibu na feel at home…nikamshow I have some food in the fridge, akasema amekula maybe if I have some juice… When I went to her some juice in the kitchen mimi nampata ameketi in such a way thabutha is nearly showing kidogo kidogo mimi nikaaza kujenga tent kwa thuruari… I think she noticed coz she smiled sheepishly na kupanua just enough to tease even some more… I served her na nikaketi… Ikabidi nimeanza kastory hivi as I tried to focus my mind elsewhere nikingoja jemedari atulie ndio niweke movie… Hata kabla sijashukisha bendera akasema kwani hutaki kuweka movie? Kwisha mimi, I didn’t have an option but kusimama na tent yangu hadi kwa TV… She was just chuckling the whole while… Anyway vile tu niliketi she was all over me… To cut the story short nilipewa slices as the full access to the server was granted with all the logs na threshold ilifika… Dry fry though… Siku nilipata text after a few weeks ati kwani Ile siku ulinifuck ilikuwa lini? Hapo ndio exit plan nilianza kukachora… Sikungoja deposit.
Great story telling skills. Mpaka nimembao kiasi
1 Like
culture
September 21, 2017, 2:21pm
10
@pseudonym leo inakaa una furaha sana
system
September 21, 2017, 2:33pm
11
Dude si I have just seen you again @ makena’s ? :). Your avatar always catches my eye whenever we are in the same thread.
system
September 21, 2017, 2:37pm
12
I am on a certain high that can’t be explained in a decent manner.
1 Like
system
September 21, 2017, 2:43pm
13
where I was greeting the madam. Huyo hajui mabo ya turela bana.
@M2Random kujia huyu beshte yako singlemother maker
1 Like
Hydra
September 21, 2017, 3:09pm
18
Kuna mtu alifikisha threshold proper inaonekana
2 Likes
chicha:
It’s been a while since I last posted kwa hii kijiji. Straight to the hekaya… There was a time I used to live in umo. Ka ploti had only 3 units na out of which 1 ilikuwa ya a yellow yellow singo matha ( technically not because husband/ boyfriend ako majuu for further studies- I later came to know ). Anyways my Mrs was not always around coz alikuwa na kwake and used to visit on Friday’s through to Sunday so her schedule was quite predictable and I think the neighbour noticed… She started being way too friendly, blunder ilianzia after we exchanged contacts, kazi ikanzA kuwa late night chats, mara inviting me for dinner or sometimes just cooking and bringing food to my house. Sasa siku moja akanishow magizani around 8 ati she’s bored na hana kitu ya kufanya…nikamshow avuke coz I had bought some movies… Deal mara that… Akasema anangoja mtoi alale ndio akwome…kidogo kidogo a soft knock kwa mlango… His majesty akadouble check kama hao is inviting coz nilikuwa nishajiambia hapa lazima nitapewa read only access to the server as the irreducible minimum so lazima nisichome picha… Piga kasocks chini ya couch baaaas supreme Court is ready for the petition… Mimi huyo kwa mlango na smile kama vile my fren hufurahi akiona siamba…kufungua hivi jirani alikuwa amechapa Ka nighty see through Ile ya kuwrap na vile mimi ni mrefu I just saw from a birds eye view through the clevege (grammar nazi you are free to correct) hadi kwa mukonyo nikajua baas kumbe Canaan si mbali… She pushed me in akisema unataka tuonekane… I gladly obliged.nikamwambia karibu na feel at home…nikamshow I have some food in the fridge, akasema amekula maybe if I have some juice… When I went to her some juice in the kitchen mimi nampata ameketi in such a way thabutha is nearly showing kidogo kidogo mimi nikaaza kujenga tent kwa thuruari… I think she noticed coz she smiled sheepishly na kupanua just enough to tease even some more… I served her na nikaketi… Ikabidi nimeanza kastory hivi as I tried to focus my mind elsewhere nikingoja jemedari atulie ndio niweke movie… Hata kabla sijashukisha bendera akasema kwani hutaki kuweka movie? Kwisha mimi, I didn’t have an option but kusimama na tent yangu hadi kwa TV… She was just chuckling the whole while… Anyway vile tu niliketi she was all over me… To cut the story short nilipewa slices as the full access to the server was granted with all the logs na threshold ilifika… Dry fry though… Siku nilipata text after a few weeks ati kwani Ile siku ulinifuck ilikuwa lini? Hapo ndio exit plan nilianza kukachora… Sikungoja deposit.
Nice hekaya pewa like lakini we ni kondoo sana.
1 Like