This is what will happen. The government CANNOT afford to be shamed right in its face.The same government likes its money. So Mashujaa that is 16 days away MUST and will take place a few meters away from where the lady and her child SADLY drowned. This country regrettably has lots of unclaimed bodies in morgues. I have a feeling the female ones are now carefully being combed until they get one that might pass for the poor lady (of course they will put it in water to complete a good story.) Ile Toyota ISIS ilishikwa imebeba contraband huko north eastern, ama some random guys wale walishikwa na yao, without insurance, going for a road trip in Nakuru, wazisahau . The cars are no longer in the police yards. Or better still, kama uli import the same model na ujanja yako kama peasant, KRA wakaanza kukusumbua, don’t expect them to sumbua you anymore. Gari ishapeanwa to the actors. The same KRA guys have probably already given it registration number KCB 289C.
Back to the now badly decomposed body. Itaingizwa hapo ndani kwa gari ya peasant, ikuwe partially sunk kwa maji at night, hours after the government chases everyone from the scene (because special operations) then hapo ma 9.45pm, when the prime time news is about to end, journalists watapigiwa simu wakuje wacover retrieval live!!(The government never volunteers information to journalists, especially where it has failed. So if journalists will be ‘tipped’ about the recovery by an unnamed source from Kenya Ferry, that will just give credence to this theory). The distraught husband will be called and finally he will find some closure but will not be given the wreckage of his car. The bodies too. The funeral expenses are fully catered for (this includes preserving the bodies, unapewa uwapeleke?) If he is smart, he might ask for a DNA test, but the government will tell him how unnecessary that is, give him some money and we all go back to our caves and get ready for the all so glorious Mashujaa day.
Now to the cost benefit analysis:
BUDGET
Random Impounded Toyota ISIS= Free
Duplicate number plates= Free
Crane to partially sink it= Free (From county government of Mombasa) Scratch my back I scratch yours. Give us the crane, and we let you sell your drugs without harassing you until Jan 2020.As a value add, kindly ask Paris Hilton to tweet praising our Navy)
Two unclaimed bodies, 1woman, 1 Child=Free (In fact the government should be paid here)
Airtime to call a few journalists= (No need to call. Send a text see them running here like Usain Bolt on steroids) 10 SMSs = (10 bob)
Money to make husband forget the BONOBOS at Kenya ferry HAVE NOT, AND WILL not resign= (800k for wife, 200k for child and 500k to look for a second hand Toyota ISIS. This is particularly important for the government. The car is not for your use only. The government would like to make you spend however little, on fuel etc. That’s how it gets its taxes to set aside a few coins for the above plan and that coming useless official trip to go to Singapore and see how they rescue children in swimming pools,then imagine it on a larger scale)
TOTAL
COMPENSATING THE POOR GUY + ‘TIPPING’ JOURNALISTS
1,500,010.00
MAMA NGINA WATER FRONT PROJECT (SPECIALLY PUT UP FOR MASHUJAA CELEBRATIONS)
460,000,000
PARIS HILTON’s ENDORSEMENT OF KENYA NAVY
Wacha tu
GOVT ACTUALLY DOING ITS JOB AND RECOVERING THE REAL PERSONS
Millions of shillings
So, tuwache hekaya refu refu.
FOR VERY OBVOUS REASONS THE CAR WILL BE RECOVERED AT NIGHT