The Last time i smoked Weed; Visa na visanga wakati wa Likizo.

Late 90`s after Fourth Form and i am sitting at home Jobless and bila plans waiting for KCSE Results.
I may not have any reason to get up asubuhi but my Dad does! Yes,he has a ka-mjengo he has going and he gets me a job as a (KYM) -Kanda ya moko. Basically i Do what the Fundi tells me to do and for my unquestioning obedience and submission i get 250 Bob every Saturday.
The job is tough but atleast i get to feel good about myself and shit;! i can even afford to go clubbing huko Mad House on Sunday Jam session with my own cash!
The other good thing i love about this job ni hizo story za watu wa mjengoā€¦ These fuckers are all un-discovered comedians who entertain you from morning mpaka jioni and teach you so much about life.
I soon form a close friendship with ā€œKatumaniā€. A stout spaced out Mkamba who is always late for work but always gets away with everything thanks to his ā€œgift of the gobā€. This nigga can sweet- talk the milk out of a cup of teaā€¦
Katumani reveres me for being the son of mwenye mjengo but i relate to him and so he wants to impress me as well and he os tthis by giving me Roster Cigarrettes and introducing me to Bangi!
Yes!. Katumani lands himself the job of Kuchunga Site and so i spend more time with him ā€œBlazingā€ after everyone is gone home and on weekends.
I dont want to waste you ā€œmbandosā€ so this is the Bangi partā€¦

One Saturday after we clocked out around saa saba and got our weekly wage,Katumani tells me that we have to treat ourselves for working so hard and he knows a good place where we can buy a whole chicken and we will buy a Unga Jogoo 2kg we come back and have a feast. But not before we pass by our local dealer Ras Mavo tuchukue misokoto kadhaaā€¦
So we are now back home and we have prepared the Ugali na Kuku and as we blaze away the afternoon Katumani even jokes that Tunakula Jogoo mbili;moja kuku,ingine ugali HEHEHEHEHEā€¦All very Funny when you are high cooped up in a Mabati house on a hot afternoon!..
We continued with this session but the funny thing was that every so often we would get hungry again and Katumani would cook another small Ka-ugaliā€¦
These went on and on until in the end,we discover that we are both shirtless (juu tumbo zimefura) and we are now lying down on the Floor unable to shift our overfed Bodies!
Yaani betwen me and Katumani,we angushad ā€œJogoo Mbili!ā€
I am not a doctor so i dont know what the Death Certificate says when you Die from Overfeeding But lucky for us a certain Fundi who was also in Charge of the whole project came calling late into the evening looking for something he had forgoten.
Long Story Short,He put us in a wheelbarrow and "Drove " us to the nearest Clinic where a certain Dr. Wanjau adminstered a concosion of tiny blue tablets to us before the kind Fundi ā€œdroveā€ us back to the site.
I don`t remember much but i remember that the Fundi made us swear that we had not seen him and i remember that i have never had such an instantantious Mharo! ā€¦Thats all we did that night in turns,ā€¦kuharisha!
Come Monday,Katumani was Jobless and the Fundi warned me to keep away from Bad Company!

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Heheā€¦ You can earn a colomn at Daily nation as whispers. Though lots of em will be dry frying stories

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Ha ha ha

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Too bad Katumani alifutwa. Ungeishi naye mda kidogo zaidi, hungepitia visanga vingi kama hivo umepitia. kwanza ile ya yule msenge rui alitaka kukubikiri mkundu. Kama kawa NICE READ BRAZA!

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nice read. @Supu don huyu mtu tumuinvite kwetu chai.

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Hahaha. Yaani mliangusha pakiti mzima ya unga.

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hehehe

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:D:D:Dā€¦The chronicles of Kabuda. Dude! You do have a vast timeline.

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huyu ni wetu hunā€¦

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BUT UKIVUTA BHANGI UNAEZA DRYFRY HATA MJAMA KWA MKIA ESPECIALLY MUKIENDA CHOO IN TURNS ,SO GIVE US THE WHOLE STORY

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Wewe pia unahitaji hizo Jogoo zote mbili na ukunywe Supu urudishe nguvu kwanza.

Hehehe.

I would say he has a vast spacetime.

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:D:D:D:D

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On a second thought, I am not going to try this thing ā€œbhangiā€ thing, I still laugh out loud when I remember the guy who bought all the ā€œnjugusā€ from a shop juu njaa alikuwa anaskia ni ya njugu tu.

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Nice story as usualā€¦jogoo mbili hehehee. But its ā€˜ā€˜gift of the garbā€™ā€™ not ā€˜ā€˜gift of the gobā€™ā€™ @Ka-Buda

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:smiley: :DGood read @Ka-Buda. As always. :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

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:D:D:D:Dnimeanza kujishuku sasa:D:D:D:D

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:D:D:D:D:D

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o_Oo_Oo_O

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Man you are funny.

http://media.giphy.com/media/O5NyCibf93upy/giphy.gif

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