Baada ya kumada forth form nilikuanimekagua all the native pooosies hapo hood. Thanks to my good looks and number seven, I learnt that I had been christened The Ovary Burster because I could destroy any creek and nook my vessel sailed through.
Baada ya mwaka mmoja nikajoin campo and had a wide range of ovaries to burst. Sema different colours, shapes and sizes. All I had to do was pick one or two at a time. Tukiwa bado kwa line ya registration si mi nikaangukia fresher mwenzangu alikua na zile mattercore unaskianga ati juu juu ka brakes za honda. Baas, that was my victim to be.
Si unajua zile unugu hua pale ukiwa ka fresha? Ati unashikia ngeus kiti, mara umempeleka mess ukambuyishia lunch ya mbao. All this in the name of establishing a sphere of influence ndio fisi zingine zijue ni mzoga ya kwangu. As much as I tried, sikuwahipata chance ya kulalisha gari parking hio wiki nzima. Hee yaani yeye si kama wale native wa uko kwetu walikua wananigawia within the first day of our meeting.
Fisi havunjiki moyo.
I continued doing all that silly isht ndio niwin io mali lakini wapi. Its like my village gods had foresaken me. Venye ile mbesha mzazi alikua amenipa ilikua inaelekea kuisha, I decided to call off the hunt.
Nakumbuka nilicall off the hunt on kindu tuesday ivi. Kufika friday jioni nikapata call from huyo msupa. Hio time kwanza ringtone yangu ilikua ile ngoma ya Gideon Boots ya Richie Spice. Hehehe sema kudance nikiskiza hio call ikiitana. Before ikatike nikaishika na kuitika na kile kisauti kama kya Nick Odhiambo
“Sasa Babe” Saa hizo bass inatoka nikama naongelea kwa nyungu.
“Poa sana.” She replied “Aki Mycoanash kama uko free please pitia kwangu saa mbili.”
Gigagaga. Yaani Mungu hamsahau mja wake. I know all of you would have done what I did. Niliruka shawa nikapiga waba, nikasugua meno kitu five minutes. (Didnt want my mouth to stink and ruin the moment). Alafu nikadunga my lucky ngodha (Ilikua na zile ma pattern za spiderman) alafu nikapitia pale chemist nikashika ma kondiko za femiplan zilikua zinanuka kama ma strawberry. At around 1955hrs nikaita msee wangu wa honda anipeleke hio hood ya msupa.
Kufika kwa mlango my nose collided with the aroma of some nice food lakini sahi sikumbuki ilikua food gani. Nikabisha mlango dem nikaskia ameshoutia na uko ivo ndani ati ningoje tu apo nje kidogo. I waited for kindu twenty minutes but I was comfortable ju nilijua lazima nilalishe gari parking.
Venye dame alikam kufungua mlango i realized that something was not right. Kwanza alikam na leso ni kama ametoka bafu but alikua ananuka majasho manze. That aside. Mi kuingia ivi naona Sahara zingine apo ivo kubwa (am sure they were size 14). Kiasi kiasi nikacheki ndume ingine imetokea huko kwa bafu na towell.
“Myco uyu ni chali yangu anaitwa Ell.” She introduced the grinning hyena to me theen told him that am the guy who will help them with my mathematics assignment.
Venye nilitoka kwa hio nyumba sikuwahijiita tena Ovary Burster, nilitupa my lucky ngodha alafu sijawahikagua vitu tena na makondiko za femiplan.
nice hekaya… Your narration way is similar to the guy who used to sell donkey meat kwa mama wa hoteli… @icecube nipatie link ya hiyo hekaya.
Hehe pengine nilienda na huyo msee rymo moja
Lakini hujafikisha 23 wewe… Iyo sheng ni ya watoto wa tellitubies …90s kid…
Pardon me friend, When did you first hear the Gideon Boots. Or better yet, when was it a hit song?
sasa ulikataa kufanya mathematics Na huyo Dame? Ungemwambia Let’s add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs , and multiply!
Zzi bana. Thresome haiwes kama ndume ni mbili. Hizo ni za kina Waweru
That donkey meat guy was full of Tanakali .
Hehehe
I liked hizo kondiko za Femiplan, sijui zilienda wapi?!
ukienda place kuna Tunza Clinic utazipata
Tusizoeane nugu hii!..
iyo Gideon boots nimeona ka ii hekaya ni hadithi za babu. Unajua turbulence?
:eek::D:D:DGreat hekaya…and funny too
Hehehe! Moral of the story, never assume anything. Nice hekaya
Ndio hio sasa. Na enzi za kina Black Sugar
Nimerudi kucheka
Hehehe.
was it donkey meat or zebra meat? hahaa