The Scarf

A few weeks ago.

I had landed a small contract to nukisha kitunguu in Pokot land to build some school in the middle of nowhere… Lodengo. East Baringo. Dry. Treacherous terrain. Insecure. Hot. Guns. Unlivable.

So Mimi nikachomoka from Naks vruuuuum to Eldy first brake. Meet this Northriftern birrionaire friend of mine. Mtu roho safi. I told him my storo. I asked him to have my jallopy for 10 days as I take my fundis huko kwa site kitu 400 Km away. In exchange anipe his 4x4 Toyota double cabin hilux. He said no problem. He owns machinery… combine havestor, several John Deer tractors etc etc all those farm equipment.

So I left for Lodengo. No power. No network. No nothing. Middle of nowhere. I was ok tho, coz I was busy na mjengo and stuff. Im used to this kinda schedule especially when the frontier districts of Wajir, Mandera and Garissa were still safe and frienflier.

On the 11th day, I emerge in Eldy… tired and exausted. My buddy and I had a couple for the road before I headed back to Naks, where I would chill for a few day before heading back for another 10 day your of duty. I got back the jallopy and I noticed he had fixed my bumper and my fuel tank was overflowing … I smiled!

I arrived at my place usiku kitu 2 am. Kumbe nilikua nangojewa since 9 pm hata supper ilikua inangija mimi…! I don’t even remember what the PM was renting about I just wanted my bed and pillow. After so long sleeping in a tent inside a sleeping bag, the last thing I wanted ni makelele. Lakini hii wamama ya siku hizi hazijui kitu:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

Anyways, I am woken up at 10 am the following day with commotion… “hii scarf ni ya nani… eeeehhh ??? Mimi na kushughulikia wewe halaf unafanya umalaya hivi…??”

Sema WAR AT HOME!

I told her I didn’t have the car the whole week. “Kimutai alinipa double cab yake!!”

The most irrational creature on earth is a jealous, jilted woman. Nikajitoa. Hadi club to cool my tempers!

Why is it when we are guilty we usually defend ourselves so well like innon of those episodes of Boston Legal? Lakini ile siku uko innocent ndio you look so guilty and none of your explanation hold water! You sound so unconvincing!

So I call Kim, told him the durama! waaah! Akasema “pole mseh” kumbe its his fault!!

Fuack… kumbe huyu kadinya we Eldy alikua anaferry malanye zake up and down that high altitude town. One of them akawacha scarf kule nyuma. I didn’t bother cheking the car before I left for Naks.

Anyways, Kim called and talked to her telling her how he used my car for some family function and some left left her scarf in the car. That is when she called the f*** down and deci ded not to go to get father’s home!

“Lakini bado sikutrust haki!!”

I’m back in Pokot from Monday. Wish me well. Ukiwa na mjengo pia hook a bro.

MASAIBU YA NDUGU ODD

That’s why husbands always die before these creatures. Shida tupu.

Ukipitia Iten nistue, chupa mbili hutakosa.

Hehe. Pole sana kaka. These women. Ni kweli kabisa when they say, the guilty are very defensive.

Sure bro. Pale Champions Inn. Bora kuwe na jiko. It’s snows over there!!

Woiye

Elgon valley is better.

isa brathaer tafter pranketi ya ukweri ujip mastaka kweri

Pole.

It’s near the county commander of Police office.

Gone are our times.

The most frustrating moment for a man is when he is innocent/not guilty but wife insists you are guilty. I once received a Whatsapp text from a Somali female acquaintance saying hi. I don’t know how the Mtaita in my house snooped, saw the notification and viewed the sender’s profile picture. Hell broke loose and i was termed guilty despite my innocence. ‘Enda kwa Halima’ became a common phrase. Huniumiza roho yangu sana.

ukiwa eldy, ptia ukunywe mbili on my bill

Please make sure you nyandua a mkale on your way back in Eldy so that you are not just accused invain. Kaleos are sweet my fren.

Pole kwa masahibu. All the best in the contract as well.