This is Guka - Breaking: Press Statement

NAIROBI
1300 HOURS
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

RE: FIELD MARSHAL COUCHP.

WE, the family, friends and relatives of the patriot and nationalist Field Marshal CouchP (family name: Karanja Wa Wairimu, Mundu Wa Wairimu, Ithe Wa Wairimu) are delighted to join other Kenyans in celebrating his 70th birthday this Thursday, June 27, 2019.

We are grateful to God that He has been gracious and abundant in favour to grant Guka this lengthy time on earth, and hope that He will grant him many more years to come. We are also thankful for the support and messages of goodwill we have received from Kenyans of all walks of life both in and out of the country including from the presidency, the leaders of the opposition and the Church in general.

To mark the auspicious occasion of this outstanding Kenyan’s birth and his immense contribution to the social, economic and political transformation of our great nation, we the family are delighted to announce a celebratory dinner which will be hosted in conjunction with the Karen Senior Men’s Choir at the Karen Blixen Museum on Saturday, June 29, 2019, starting 1700 HRS.

Attendance for non-invited guests is welcome but will be charged a token Sh35,000.00 to be donated to the PCEA Old People’s Home, Thogoto.

ENDS

Ghaseer soak dentures kwa jik kwanza…you have a throat infection.

Muzee! Yani you are trying all methods to raise pesa za whitekap? Heee! Bandika paybill hapa. After this latest effort, ktalkers will respond…

This post is incomplete without a Paybill Number.
Saitan.

Pengine this Muzae has been peeling potatoes for the last 4 days uko Gikambura due to non payment of bills and we are his only way out… si juzi alituwekea picha hapa of a dingy pub…

Sir, we warmly invite you to join us in celebrating Guka’s birth day. We however humbly advice that you bring along a human companion and not any animal of whatever kind as this aberration will not be entertained at all.

Thank you.

Yaani, mulikataa kununua kokoto ya musee…

You are expensive man ! Anyway May you live to attend many birthday parties for your tugukas and tucucus

Sir, we are well aware that this site is full of financially-challenged people but in the spirit of our vision-holder are willing to give every one a hand-up.

The subsidized kokoto offer still stands.

Guka anataka whitekap…weka pay bill

@Mrs Shosho give guka a lap dance He will never forget.

Nirikuwa mimesoma Mugo wa Wairim…
Ama washa tu…:smiley:

We don’t want guka to get a heartattack !

Ni wapi unaniita Dr Oga? Blocked the man centuries ago.

Shimo mbaya ni ya nyoka, mti nzuri ni ya kuua nyoka… unblock Him and avenge by giving Him a heart attack.

Naa. Nein.

Happy birthday, Ngabu.

:D:D:D
Shait.

Guka Nani alikuonyesha kutype using qwerty keyboard?

In future do not invite /tag me to such silly threads where old men pretend to be 21.