This is Guka - Prof. Mugenda Case; What Do I Tell This Pal?

This is serious. And true.

This pal of mine, a very nice Samia from Busia, has been my pal for the last 30 years. In fact, we call each other ‘brother’. Very nice jamaa, wale wa three beers then home. Hakuna tu dirty titties hapa na pale kama you know who. Good family man with two kids. He’s been in private business for the last 15 years.

His wife is a prison warder, a senior superintendent. Ame-rise pole pole to her current rank, and she’s earning fairly good money when you consider her ‘additional’ income. A luhya I don’t know from where. Wakipatana kalikuwa junior officer pale Langata, my buddy was with NAS at JKIA, loaded kiasi.

Sasa shida ni hii; the guy has been going down for the last five years or so. Biashara zake zote ni kama kurogwa, or the guy was simply never meant for business. Kila kitu anafanya kinakunywa maji. Last deal alipoteza 1m to a fake NGO.

Needless to say kwake hakukaliki. The wife says the guy is a loser, and she’s locked her money up in fixed deposit accounts and gavament bonds. Eti ni pesa ya watoto. Jamaa akiitisha even 200,000 afanye supplies kwa serikali at least alipe rent, which he has been doing all along, anaambiwa atapoteza like all the other money before. Na ni ya kukopa mind you! Sasa rent arrears zimefika 5 months - Sh300,000 - na auctioneers ndio hao. Fees ya watoto ndiyo hiyo. And yet, in the fixed accounts za bibi there’s something like 8 million, unashindwa ni ya nini. The wife is adamant that fees na rent ni majukumu ya mzee.

Jamaa amepata stress ni kama kichwa itapiga.

The other day he came to me nikamwambia hivi, auze plot moja yake iko Rongai, about 5m, alipie watoto rent halafu ajitoe kwa hiyo hao kama mwaka moja. Aende achukue single-room hata Ruai aji-nyce back to health, financially, emotionally and physically. Bibi akipata bwana mwingine, sawa. Akimngoja, sawa.

Lakini nikamwambia whatever he does ajitoe from that toxic environment.

Shida yake ni kama ameizoea hiyo bad environment. Hataki kutoka ni kama ako na Stockholm Syndrome ya kuitwa Baba Nanii ama Bwana Nanii. Kila siku madharao ndogo-ndogo na yeye ameshikilia tu. Simuelewi.

I was thinking about the dude just now when I was streaming down the Southern By-pass from Thogoto to drop a dirty titties alininyonya mboro jana nikakumbuka case ya Mugenda, which I see you have exhaustively discussed. Huyu ndugu wangu naona kama ako kwa hiyo njia panda, but the dude is so adamant and obstinate eti things will improve and they will somehow fall in love again. Pthuuu! He’s been saying that for the last few years and I see no improvement.

Your thoughts please.

malaya ni malaya tu,mpaka wananyonya shrivelled dick?

As a friend you have done your part. Leave it at that. Be there for him but don’t push for separation.

religion na kutaka heshima za watu zimepeleka watu mob kwa kaburi za mapema. anajua akikaa kwa Io nyumba atapatwa na blood pressure, lakini anakwamilia tu. watu watasemaje wakiskia niliachana na wife? he needs to sit down with his children awaeleze ukweli then take a break.

Wacha that my guy. Hata ya nguruwe nono, 130kgs…

Be thinned by yours

nuff said.

Jinga wewe

Things to do with 2 people kaa mbali. As a friend you gave a good shot . Don’t over do it .But I think he needs to move out and count his loses

Hasa man and wife.

Happens anytime bibi akianza ku-accumulate savings. Kwanza ukiona income yake imepita yako ebu anza kuzimanage. Usimwamini akisema ati oh doh ni zake. Anza kuzipangia immediately, ukishindwa; jua you are on your way out. Huyu ata umpee advice gani, atabaki tu apo but his fortunes will turn around in the long run. By then relationship itakuwa very sour.

Chunishwa sukuma hukooo mbali na mimi

Humbwer mefii wewe

You did your fair part, hînjio nî maku gathuri ka iraikû!

alafu akiruka dirishani mtasema alikua zake

You actually gave him very sober and fair advice, but like everyone says here, leave things between the couple and don’t push.
It tends to backfire even when you have good Intentions, you never know, there might be some things his wife knows that he prefers to keep in secrecy.

Both of them are contributing to the toxic cycle so it’s up to them to decide to keep going along or not.

This guys has been my pal for about 30 years. For some to say ‘hinjio ni maku’ - worry about your own problems - is wrong I think. Kwani what are friends for?

Although to say the truth mimi huboeka na huyu jamaa. Kuna siku tumepanga kuuza hiyo plot. Wateja tukapeleka site na yeye and one offered 4.2m then. Only for my friend to turn around and say ‘Mama watoto amekataa’…aarrrggghhhhhhhhhh!

Like the ‘great’ Akothee says ;
“don’t take panadol on someone else’s headache”

Huyo jamaa lazima ametafutiwa kamote. Ukiona mtu anateswa na anaendelea kubaki hapo, things can’t be normal. Hapo aombe Mungu sana coz vyenye inaelekea atatolewa hapo na kifo. Not to be harsh but that is the sad reality.

Gender equality teaches women to be like men but not to take up man’s responsiblities. She can be CEO but expects the man to perform and earn better than her. All this is due to the absentee father effect. A father may still be available but unable to fulfill his duties to alcoholism. So with this a girl will grow up trying to compensate for her absentee fathers. At school while her friends received gifts from their dads she was left feeling empty. When she grows up she acquires the tendency of competing with men. In positions of authority her pain is expressed by being harsh on her masculine suboordinates. At home weakness cannot be tolerated. So a husband to such a woman must live by her high “masculine” standards. In most cases, since men do not realize the problem is in her foundation, they will always try to live by these standards.