This is Guka - Saidieni Tafasari................My First Post on Sex!

[FieldMarshal_CouchP]

Daktari hajitibu, wahenga walisema.

Sasa shida iko hapa, sperm volume. Nimenotice this has declined to almost air now. Just a decade or two ago I could shoot off at least three tablepoonfuls of cum. Yaani a woman would literally go dripping off - guthie akiumaga - once you were done with her.

Now she asks me, ‘umemaliza?’ coz she can’t feel shit.

This is getting embarrassing.

How do I bulk up on the volume of cum (NOT SPERM COUNT)? Dirty titties wa Luseggetti have to be irrigated!

And don’t prescribe exotic foods like pweza hizo hakuna huku Ndeiya…

[AiKantSpel]

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Drink lots of water and eat fruits.

[cortedivoire]

@FieldMarshal CouchP

Now she asks me, ‘[SIZE=6]umemaliza[/SIZE]?’ coz she can’t feel shit…

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[MANKY]

@FieldMarshal CouchP

Daktari hajitibu, wahenga walisema.

Sasa shida iko hapa, sperm volume. Nimenotice this has declined to almost air now. Just a decade or two ago I could shoot off at least three tablepoonfuls of cum. Yaani a woman would literally go dripping off - guthie akiumaga - once you were done with her.

Now she asks me, ‘umemaliza?’ coz she can’t feel shit.

This is getting embarrassing.

How do I bulk up on the volume of cum (NOT SPERM COUNT)? Dirty titties wa Luseggetti have to be irrigated!

And don’t prescribe exotic foods like pweza hizo hakuna huku Ndeiya…

Water meronii

[chap]

Haha momo wamekuchomea transformer. Sorry Dude there is no come back your glory days are long gone, the best you can do is make a George R.R Martin of them so that kijiji can read and appreciate your legendary stature. All the best in your retirement

[FieldMarshal_CouchP]

@chap

Haha momo wamekuchomea transformer. Sorry Dude there is no come back your glory days are long gone, the best you can do is make a George R.R Martin of them so that kijiji can read and appreciate your legendary stature. All the best in your retirement

Pris, don’t be cruel…

[Azor_Ahai]

You should be more worried about your pacemaker.

[Mimi_Huwa_Namwaga_Nd]

WhiteKAPS and more whiteKAPS…on a serious note tho. My man, i would hate to believe this what awaits me when i hit the WALL as a senior bachelor at 70
…God forbid!!! Riswaaa!!

[El_chappoh]

The Zimmer frame you are using has drained off your balls.

[El_chappoh]

Lakini mzee ukikufia juu ya kunguru ukijaribu kuongeza baby mamas siitakuwa aibu sana kwa ukoo wako.

[It_s_Le_Scumbag]

@chap

Haha momo wamekuchomea transformer. Sorry Dude there is no come back your glory days are long gone, the best you can do is make a George R.R Martin of them so that kijiji can read and appreciate your legendary stature. All the best in your retirement

And what title should he give his ruminations?
The Reduced Volumes?

[FieldMarshal_CouchP]

@El chappoh

Lakini mzee ukikufia juu ya kunguru ukijaribu kuongeza baby mamas siitakuwa aibu sana kwa ukoo wako.

If am dead I won’t feel the shame…

[Nattydread]

Pffffffffffffffffft!

[4makind]

You cant go wrong with raw groundnuts… unless you’ve gone past the mitochondrion threshold

[Sogomba_Sadamkale]

@FieldMarshal CouchP

Now she asks me, ‘umemaliza?’ coz she can’t feel shit.

Your penis is small.

[Teddy_time]

Muzee, ata Mutula Kilonzo was almost your years and he was still expanding his family with 16yr old workers on his Maanzoni farm.

Tumia viagra but use half the doze he used. Ata wewe tafuta 16yr old uko kwako and get a fiuldmacho Jr.

[Sogomba_Sadamkale]

Yani since you started firking Pterodactyls mpaka saa hii bado you think females orgasm from your ejaculation?

[Greedy_Genius]

Eggs, bananas, milk and rest. At your age you should not be fvcking everyday. Pumzisha bolingo. *Disclaimer: I am not an doctor

[Village_Mopper]

@FieldMarshal CouchP

Daktari hajitibu, wahenga walisema.

Sasa shida iko hapa, sperm volume. Nimenotice this has declined to almost air now. Just a decade or two ago I could shoot off at least three tablepoonfuls of cum. Yaani a woman would literally go dripping off - guthie akiumaga - once you were done with her.

Now she asks me, ‘umemaliza?’ coz she can’t feel shit.

This is getting embarrassing.

How do I bulk up on the volume of cum (NOT SPERM COUNT)? Dirty titties wa Luseggetti have to be irrigated!

And don’t prescribe exotic foods like pweza hizo hakuna huku Ndeiya…

kubali uzee and move on

[FieldMarshal_CouchP]

@4makind

You cant go wrong with raw groundnuts… unless you’ve gone past the mitochondrion threshold

What do you mean raw? As in, hizi zinauzwa barabara in small satchets ama zile hazijapikwa kapsaa za kutoka shamba?