So juzi me and my mama are just lying in bed. I was on my laptop, she was on her phone, a slow beautiful evening. Then the devil decided the evening was too peaceful.
She asked me if I’ve heard about the woman who was shot for having sex in public. Of course, I had read about it and I affirmed that yes I had heard of it. That should have just ended there, but remember the devil had just decided to join us. So me and my stupid mouth said:
Huyo jamaa ndio alimess. He shouldn’t have drove off. Hawa makarao wako njaa, 200 bob na story iko sawa.
Wewe unajuaje angekubali 200 bob?
Ai love, hii ni story kila mtu anajua, hata 100 bob wangechukua. Kuhave sex in a car in public is not a serious offense.
So wewe ushwahi have sex in public?
Ai kwani hujawahi?
Now remember I’m not looking at her. My head is on her thighs and I’m on my laptop. So I turn to face her so I can explain and laugh at her for what she’s missing and we should definitely do it some day. Ile macho nilikutana nayo!!!
Ehe so ukahave sex in public. Niambie next.
At this point I knew I had dug myself in a ditch I won’t be able to get out of, so I decided to shut my beak. And that’s how the argument started. Yesterday I tried talking to her but all she could say was “Hujaniambia vile ulihave sex in public. Ehe then mkararuana (I swear she said raruana) halafu?” Since I’m self employed I wake up very early for work, way before her when she’s spending the night at my house, but she always wakes up to make me breakfast. Same thing as today but then I couldn’t find my car keys so I asked her where it was. She told me she is using the car today I use tuktuk (Nakuru hakuna Uber). So ni mimi na tuktuk till she decides otherwise. I also know hakuna kuraruana till I tell the story. I honestly don’t get women.
I think she’s also in Kenyatalk and since I can’t tell her this in person, here goes. Love, KILA MTU ASHARARUANA IN PUBLIC ACHA UJINGA, GROW UP!!
Kiongozi,huyo hata sio bibi chake…ni mtu wa kukam na pasi kwa kibeti for the long weekend. That being said,how anyone can take my jalopy without my permission ati amekasirika bado sijaelewa