I am a child of incest. Technically an adult born out of incest 29 Years ago. My mother’s partenal uncle is my dad. She suffered postpartum depression soon after my birth. She was in and out of a psych hospital till I turned 5. I lived with grandma then.
Back to my dad or is it grandfather. When he discovered he was terminally ill he broke the news to me soon after grandma’s funeral. He has been calling me since, I haven’t picked any of his calls though. His lastborn son is my age. We are best friends.
All along I thought my dad had been killed in an accident in machakos. A story told by grandma and Ma.
I hate my extended family. I asked my aunties how legit the info was and every one of the 3 confirmed it adding that it’s not their place nor story but Ma’s to tell. They don’t pick my calls no more.
I finally asked my Ma, she broke down and had a nasty episode that saw her hospitalized at Mathare. I had triggered her mental health problems after close to 24 years of being OK.
I hate myself. She, with the help of grandma raised and provided for me. Sometimes we lacked but survived. Today she couldn’t recognize me. She kept referring to me as Ann* the first born daughter of my grandpa/father.
I’m drowning in guilt. I hope she gets better. I hope she doesn’t feel like I questioned her past to humiliate her. I hope we can get over this alright. She’s my only family.
#PS Sometimes you are going through so much in life all you want is to tell your story to the world without anyone judging you. #ThisIsMyStoryCampaign lets you open up, anonymously, about your struggles & how you deal with them. To take part, send your story to [email protected].
kwani dryfry inaweza fanya mwanamke afeel guilty?..not in our kenya today…markmaish i used to read your blog but oflate imejaa tu story axileti shagwe up your game
Read the fine lines mate. Attempting suicide is the crime. Besides, let them share as experience and direct them to professionals. People out there don’t care much, those who purport to try tough love triggering a fall out and thought confirmation. Those who really do are very very rare.
Life is not a straight line, and never similar. It is like an exam with different question papers.
Trust you me I’m doing my best getting them professionals help and psychosocial support. In a few days I will be doing another campaign purely sensitizing Kenyans about depression and other mental issues and provide contacts to people willing to help them.