Times

It’s been long since I posted. But it has not entirely been my doing.
Have you ever tried playing porn online on 2G internet? The buffering takes so long that by the time it finishes loading, you have already accepted Christ as your Lord and saviour and no longer partake of such vile intricacies from hell. You have gone through bible studies, you have even studied religion and divinity and been promoted to deacon at your local church. Nkt, slow internet.
I have been in such a situation only this time it’s not about internet… It’s dryspell. Ironically, while people’s wives have turned into jezebels and are dishing out them cookies like birthday cakes, I have of late been finding it hard to lay one. This situation, although not very pleasant, has given me time to ponder on what is important in life. I have had to reflect on my livelihood and whether it pleases the Good One up there. I have fallen short.
So I decided to join a good christian church in my locality and dedicate my filthy life to Christ. Praise the Lawd!! I diligently walked to church every sunday. Bible app readily on my home screen. Song book in my back pocket. I sang with vigor. I praised and worshiped like the world was endimg the next day. Let’s say I was a good christian. Hell!! I even confessed some mild sins. Ain’t telling no one I screwed people’s wives… The victims could be members here.
The devil had other plans for me…and his agent was the choir mistress…kuna kitu ka hiyo? This girl was fine thank you!! She is engaged to some guy whom I don’t like much. I hate people with beautiful girlfriends. Anyway, I seduced her with the word. I made her laugh… And did she laugh at my dry jokes!! She even started sending me inspirational messages on whatsapp and I knew it is just a matter of time.
When the D-day came, it was one fine monday afternoon and she innocently sent a message from her work place, " Aki niko njaa, si ununue lunch" radies and gerromen, tge fisist spirit in me was awoken and I responded, on my way. Leo nakupikia…and she was like, mmmmhhhhh… Let’s just say, I ate more than just food. And I loved everything about her. And she is now married… I just whistle when we cross paths now… Whistling to the good tune,
‘Ndahunyùkîte ngiuma kwa waing’a, ndahunyùkîte ngiuma kwa waing’a, Jesu akïnjoya, agithambia wega, akihumba nguo ya ùhonokio., kwa waing’a ndigacoka…’ But now it is ‘kwa waing’a nïndacoka!!’

ngombe leta transleshen

‘Ndahunyùkîte ngiuma kwa waing’a, ndahunyùkîte ngiuma kwa waing’a, Jesu akïnjoya, agithambia wega, akihumba nguo ya ùhonokio., kwa waing’a ndigacoka…’ But now it is ‘kwa waing’a nïndacoka!!’

translate or gtfo

I had pararad* when I was at saran’s fold, Jesus Saw me, washed me, and clothed me in Salvation garment. I will never return to the devil’s dominion… Now I sing, ’ I am back to Satan’s fold’