Today the Nairobian Kauzi in me came out.... Wazungu wamependa ..

Sex & Relationships
1

Huyu mlami neighbour yangu amenizoea sana.

Honestly, before my divorce from my Mzansi wife ,we had a semi detached house bila stress mob juu we always got along with our lesbian Lithuanian couple and it was the most quiet street with good families.

Sasa mbele wife alinichuja, i had to look for a new place which wasn`t easy.
Sasa 6 months ago nikanyaka hii flat mtaa moja si poa but i am stuck with a mortgage for the kip!

Mimi najua hawa walami after living with them for more than two decades so nikajipata mimi ndio nyauthi hii mtaa and in this kind of setups there is always some jungu bullies who think that they can give you a hard time juu wanajskia hao ndio “koigi” hiyo mtaa.

Hii jinga imecheza na Wrong Number.

He lives next door and we all have numbered parking spots and everytime i come home mapema napata jinga imeweka ndae yake on my spot!

He is the kind of arrogant uneducated jungus who have entitlement issues anafikiri mimi namuogopa.

Hajui mimi nimelelewa hapo La`nga karibu na Key-Beach.

Jinga inachukua parking ya mine alafu inacheza loud music all day after nimemada ma night shift.

Jana sikulala nikamsamehea thinking juu ni wekend he had friends etc…
Leo namada jobo ngware napata jinga imeacha ndae yake on my spot and his spot is empty.
Nimechoka so i just robbed someone`s space nikawacha ndae ya mine.

Kuingia tu keja hivi naskia heavy rock music kwa ukuta ni kama hare!

Nikajua hii jinga inanipima “ndaimono” zangu pahali zimefika!

Sikuweza kulala but about 3 hours ago nikasema enough is enough!

Nimechukua ukapi moja refu alafu nikashuka bila top ( ngotha peke yake) and i went to his door holding my big knife wearing nothing more than my underwear in minus 2 degrees weather!

Nimemwambia in Africa i killed 16 people and i dont want to kill anybody else and i dont like to be pushed about because i kill bullies!
Nikatingisha kichwa kama mwenda nikisema “shindwe! shindwe!..”

Alafu nikajitoa mosmos kama mwenda!

I`m hoping the word goes round that hii address ni ya mwenda na hapendi ujinga!..

20 Likes
2

This ninja went to knock on a male neighbours door akiwa amevaa underwear pekee. Let that sink in first

14 Likes
3

Haha uongo!

3 Likes
4

heheh

5

Captain ,Hii inakaa ile nugu ya"ghost sniper "

1 Like
6
7

Your imagination is good but hii story ni y’all uongo sasa endelea kuskiza his rock music

1 Like
8

CSI: Si kwa hekaya ingine huyu jamaa alisema there are other Blacks where he lives?

1 Like
9

Hehehehehe, lakini hii hekaya utupatie follow up, usituwache hanging kama hizo zingine

3 Likes
10

anapark kwa spot ya actross ama ile benz ingine saloon?

2 Likes
11

My sister had the same experience with a bully kwa apartment , alibeba kisu usiku 3am akaenda kwa gari zote zilikuwa kwa parking owned by bullies na akotoboa tyre .
You should see the puzzle in their eyes till they had to call the police to help them figure out who did it. They weren’t able to .Bullying iliisha since then.you should try it then

1 Like
12

Space ya Benz yangu and i have to see it and wish it goodnight kabla nilale.
Actros ya mine haiwes toshea hapa naiachaga job.

13

Nigga si umekafunga sasa, rudi kenya uendeshange pickup za miraa.
na hio kuwish gari goodnight ni sexual orientation gani :smiley:

2 Likes
14

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: Good one!

1 Like
15

Kuingia tu keja hivi naskia heavy rock music kwa ukuta ni kama hare!

Hare ni sheng word ya kitambo. Reminds me of Nyashinski and Klepto’s ‘Tuchizike hare…wacha niseme story ya hare na ma-shawty…’ song.

4 Likes
16

Wazungu have this habit everytime they think you are isolated and alone. Its like they get a buzz out of harrassing and bullying you.Si wote lakini i have to say even at work you have to grow a thick skin if you are to deal with the Mzungu.

Me i`ve grown an armoured plate and i can spot bullying from a mile away.The sooner you let the jungus know that you are a nut-case the better your life and you can live anywhere.

The end of last term nilienda Parents day ya my son and the teachers almost hinted to me in a very clever way that my son seems so Defensive etc… niliwasomea kama Malcolm X .
I have trained my sons to know that they will push,fight or bite back at anybody that threatens them at school before they even report it to me and their teachers.
I do not entertain that “Victim” mentality ati kuja kuniambia so and so did this nyef nyef nyef…
Gonga mtu ngumi alafu niitwe juu ulikoboa mtoto wa watu !

After all .: you are the the son of the True Blood Mau Mau!

9 Likes
17

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlyfpQMoGrs

1 Like
18

Mimi ni Mhenga buda.

19

hekaya zako zinakuanga on point usipoweka story za vile ulitomba bibi ya mourinho , wenger , zuma na queen elizabeth

3 Likes
20

:D:D:D:D:D:D:eek::smiley:
Which one follow the other? Trouble or you?

1 Like