I am beginning to have serious doubts about my long-time approach to women. I wouldn’t call it a strategy per se because that’s just who I am, but my approach has always been to disarm my target with my natural cool demeanor before I move in for the kill. You know, use what I already have to my advantage instead of trying to reinvent the wheel. For instance, I can never pull a cold approach to save my life. I prefer that it “just flows” and a lot of that involves my being fairly approachable.
Naona kama hapa ndio kashida huingia. This approach has yielded women who claim to like me because “hauna kiherehere”. Which is okay until they try pulling the usual diva antics on me and discover that I am no pushover. It hit home the other day when one commented to me, “Kaa na mtu umjue.” That’s when it hit me that I may be giving off the wrong vibe. To be fair to myself, most of these women also change, and it doesn’t take long. This last one for instance was the sweetest thing when I met her in the company of people I know. She treated me like a king in front of her friends, constantly pouring my drink and caressing an injury I have on my knee. She even personally ordered a cab to my kichinjio and paid for it. Wacha tufike! She swung into action immediately we got to the house, making demands and acting like she owns the place. Long story short, nilifukuza yeye asubuhi na mapema.
Umewai enda gikomba na majamaa wanakushika mkono to drag you to their shops.
Take that approach ‘drag them’ mshow unaenda kumfinya saa hii. Exert your dominance.
This actually works? Curious what the success rate is. I’d say my now-questionable approach enjoys a success rate of about 80% once a conversation has been struck. The few that slipped through my hands bolted because I got too drunk and slept.
Mwanaume ni kutangaza msimamo at the earliest. This “letting it flow naturally” ndo hufanya maboy wengi kuwekwa friendzone na madem alaf unaanza kutumwa mkate pale nje kwa kiosk.
This kutangaza msimamo is what I’m struggling with. How do you do it without coming off as an asshole? Or is being an asshole actually part of the game?
This strategy works perfectly because you have nothing to lose so hata confidence inakuwanga juu saidi but along the way akishaingia box una rudi to your normal self…anaona wewe ni mpole hauna mambo mingi [umeboeka]…na si ile jogoo alipatana nayo but again anakuwa fifty fifty juu hajui the other version inakaa aje :D:D
I noticed i acted differently with different girls. I concluded different girls create a different environment and that brings out a different person in you…unakuwa kama hii kitu :D:D
Kenyan women complain that we are not romantic or spontaneous but the truth is they don’t want that. They want a man who’s idea of flirting is asking “uko na bwana?” 5 minutes after meeting her. The subtle gentleman long-term approach doesn’t seem to work for most of them, except maybe the upper class ones who expect a formal (and very Western) style of courtship. For the rest you must do it the kienyeji way. Be blunt with your intentions, if she doesn’t respond positively, cut your losses and move on. It’s not about being an asshole (although it’s quite telling that such men never seem to lack women), it’s more about knowing what works for your environment.