Ni vile tu they’re a relatively small tribe, that’s why they fly under the radar while we focus on Kikuyus and Kalenjins. There was this one time a kisii tycoon built some apartments in our neighborhood. It was a predominantly sapere location, but the contractor, all the mjengo guys, and suppliers were gwatu gwa matoke. Even the women who sold food to the mjengo guys, and the watchmen who guarded the place, were all kisiis. Mchana, amid ile kelele ya construction site, ulikuwa tu unaskia “gaaki, mogaka, yaaa, omong’ina” and other such words. Soprano kila mahali na karibu kila mtu ni mwanaume. One second unaskia ni kama wanagombana, alafu they burst out laughing kumbe ni story za ocha wanaambiana. I always used to wonder which hole so many mogakas crawled out of.
Sector ya miwa hii Nairobi wamei-lock tightly. Same structure. Jamaa mkisii analetewa miwa kanairo na mkisii mwenzake, all the wheelbarrow guys who zungusha the sugarcane around estates are also fellow kisiis. I think this is the only tribe that can achieve 100% tribalism in any sector they invade. These saperes and kalenjins, hata waki-make up 70% of the workforce, at least watatafuta mechanic jaruo, watchman mluhya, messenger mkamba and so on. Kisiis will fill all those positions with their tribesmen. Hawa wakipewa urais sijui itakuaje.
These observations have been triggered by a story kule buyer beware, where an official of ENA, a PSV and parcel delivery company is accused of slapping a lady customer who went to inquire why her parcel took so long. Uzuri (ama ubaya) ni ati it was Kisii-on-Kisii violence. Lakini kwa comments sekshen customers wa hiyo kampuni wameelezea vile ukiingia huko ni kama little Kisii. Nearly all employees have an attitude from here to Timbuktu. Na ukiuliza maswali ya fichinga fichinga kama “why is my parcel taking so long” unafunikwa kofi unarudishwa default settings.
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Heneway, after a mini uproar on social media, company officials met Kemunto Nyakundi, the slapee, after which she agreed to forgive.
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Kemunto akapewa mpaka free branded umbrella ya kupanguza machozi. Wewe!
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Meanwhile, the person who administered the slap has allegedly been sent for retraining, whatever that means. Overall, it’s a happy ending for all parties. Lakini ndugu setu wakisii, gwacheni hasira! Gwacheni buana!