I know I (and others) have written about this epidemic before but I think it should now be declared a national disaster.
What am talking about is the peculiarly Kenyan female disease, facilitated by mobile money transfer services, of some random bittch asking for some 1K, 2K, 3K or even 10K payable, allegedly, “within a week” to solve one or the other personal problem.
What makes the disease extremely irritating is the fact that the women (dont call them ladies) who are always asking for the money are barely known to you. You meet a nice looking lass in a pub and buy her two drinks, for example, and the next day she smses you ati, “Honey, niokolee 2k plse nipeleke jr hosi”. Now who is jr? Tulizaa yeye na wewe? Who was taking him/her/it to hosi before last night when we met?
On Friday I met this smashing Luo babe, a waiteress downtown on Kamae Rd, in a dingy bar playing Ohangla. Despite all my approaches, she ignored me till she saw me give the live band Sh500 for playing good music. Suddenly her eyes lit up - she realised the funny looking Okuyu that I am “has money”.
Today guess what? She smsed ati shes in a jam and wants 3k, returnable Tuesday. 3K just like that. Imagine if she sends that sms to 20 niggas just 7 of whom are suckers. Sh21,000 PAP!
As a senior Kenyan, I want to mobilise all men to stop indulging these sheboons just because they have some sort of a hole between their legs, some of which stink like shit. Kama ni kuma nunua live live Sh300 ama stick with the houselady, wacha kuchukuliwa kama a brainless ATM na random bittches.
Making money in this town is really hard, and wasting it on crafty sheboons is the worst way to live. Man up guys - buy your manpal a drink today, coz chances are that he’ll buy you one before the end of the week. The best you can hope for from a sheboon is a clean kuma, if at all.
Kwa hayo machache, wanaume wote tuungane tuangamize huu ufisi.