wedding committee

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agik

Village Elder
#1
Hi guyz, I have just received a message from a relative who is organizing a wedding that I have been chosen to be in the wedding committee. My first instinct was to reply immediately and turn down the offer (coz of money matters and what not), but I thought to seek advice first. For those who have ever been in a committee, is there such a thing as committeer(ing) without monetary obligations? Is being called to a committee euphemism for "goat eating" if-you-know-what-i-mean
 

agik

Village Elder
#3
Money & resources must be involved.

Weddings in my opinion are a waste of time,money and resources.

If you don't feel like being part of it just decline there's no need being in there half heartedly.
If it were any other person I would have declined immediately without so much as a second thought, but this particular person is someone very dear to me. I dont want to say no, if it can be helped.
What usually happens in these committees?

PS: Priss, ONLY those who have been in committees before to comment
 

gashwin

Village Chief
#6
being "someone dear" to you i don't even see why you have doubts. yes, (your) money is involved. what i normally have problems with is when the message comes as "you have been chosen" (by who?!) rather than "am requesting you be on my wedding committee"....
 

fishmonger

Village Elder
#8
If its someone close to you be part of it. You will only give what you can afford to give, even if it is nothing. If your relative or friend is reasonable, he will appreciate your presences in the meetings and activities without you having to give a cent. I have been to committees where I did not contribute the amount "allocated" to each committee member and still walked shoulder high to the wedding and after party.
 

agik

Village Elder
#9
being "someone dear" to you i don't even see why you have doubts. yes, (your) money is involved. what i normally have problems with is when the message comes as "you have been chosen" (by who?!) rather than "am requesting you be on my wedding committee"....
Yes I know money will be involved one way or another. Just wanted to know if there are any specific expectations for someone who is a committee member. As much as I would like to help in any way possible A man cannot do, what a man cannot do
 

gashwin

Village Chief
#10
@gashwin the power of words

Chosen = you have no choice

Request = there's a high possibility he/she will say NO.
I do not do things I'd rather not be doing- and that includes serving on committees to please my friends when my time and resources cannot allow -neither do i like giving my friends flimsy excuses why i cannot do something for someone because it is not within my means...someone once called me "cold" because of the way i like putting things in black and white -but i don't like giving hope when I know i will not deliver. the same people who will want that "hope" will later call you a letdown...
 
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Luther12

Guest
#11
If its someone close to you be part of it. You will only give what you can afford to give, even if it is nothing. If your relative or friend is reasonable, he will appreciate your presences in the meetings and activities without you having to give a cent. I have been to committees where I did not contribute the amount "allocated" to each committee member and still walked shoulder high to the wedding and after party.
Key words...
 

Fala 12

Kijana Fupi Nono Round
#12
i have been in one and for sure the primary objective is to raise funds but then also even if one is loaded they need a number of trusted and reliable friends who can help in planning for the big day
 

Mathaais

Village Chief
#14
They carefully select those to put in the committee, those they know are loaded and are able to raise the various amounts they need for this and that. At least look on the positive and consider yourself lucky they think of you kama mtu ako na kakitu.
 

Smith_

Village Elder
#15
I do not do things I'd rather not be doing- and that includes serving on committees to please my friends when my time and resources cannot allow -neither do i like giving my friends flimsy excuses why i cannot do something for someone because it is not within my means...someone once called me "cold" because of the way i like putting things in black and white -but i don't like giving hope when I know i will not deliver. the same people who will want that "hope" will later call you a letdown...
Inaitwa 'diplomacy' & yes, people who lack it are deemed 'cold' because sio lazima you give someone a piece of your mind just coz u can kwa sababu just like me & you, they've got human feelings & emotions and when ur day to seek help comes (trust me, it will come), utaangushwa kama Monica Juma ama Nancy Baraza.

I advice u and everybody else like you that if u got no help to offer and have got nothing nice to say, coz, well, that's just the way u are, please please just SHUT THE f**k UP!! I can give u my example from this year...

There is this guy who I'd only met twice but suddenly he decided that I am a BFF and in Feb, he started sending me those committee invitation SMSs in earnest. Initially, I had the courtesy to call back & try explain that siwezmek coz of jobo, which was true in March/April but still, I continued getting the texts. I guess my number was part of some bulk messaging database and has never/ will never be removed. Of course in my mind I'm thinking dude, WTF, I barely even know u and yet here u are inundating me with your stupid little committee texts.. But I decided I am not going to ruin somebody's day or even week by giving them a 'piece of your mind.' The solution was just to STFU especially since I had actually called and tried to excuse myself waaay back in Feb.

Wacha niwachie hapa: http://kenya-today.com/entertainment/refuse-part-wedding-committee
 

Ice_Cube

Village Chief
#16
Its a harambee I have been in one and by the end of it all I was 15K poorer to make sure he makes cupcake's day. but I really enjoyed the food but kuna zile I have declined especially when am cash strapped so its really your call, talk to him nicely umwambie kama uko poa ama huko poa at the moment he should understand coz the main reason he called for the committee is because he is not able to fully finance the wedding
 
#17
I was once 'chosen' to be in the committee but knowing very well ile upuus that goes on in the so called meetings I opted out but still made the contribution as was deliberated. Its more of an harambee thing as one talker said hapo ju and if you can, simply do so and continue with nation building.
 
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Okiya

Guest
#20
I normally give my close pals 15K and tell them that the only committee I want to be in is the one that is organizing the stag party.
 
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