Well Raised Children

Kigui

Village Elder
#1
For those of you who are parents what body of knowledge do you use to rear your children. We all want our children to become responsible, independent and successful adults. I would like us to share those here. Some of the ones I use are:

1. No TV on school days. The TV must be turned off when kids get home from school and remain turned off until they sleep. Similarly, it must remain off when they wake up in the morning. No exceptions are allowed.

2. Children cannot have more than two hours of screen time on any given day, weekend or holidays. So gaming on PS4/TV/tablets can only be used for two hours only per day.

3. A child must learn to take care if his own hygiene including cleaning up their inner wears, making their beds. On weekends, they must clean up their room.

I want to teach them to manage money and investments. Which other areas do you think are relevant? Where can I get learning materials on how best to achieve this goal?

@Meria Mata , @Mrs Shosho , @spear kujeni
 

1776

Village Sponsor
#3
1. Don't punish to punish. Punish to discipline.
2. Let them be children and ease them into adulthood. Don't rush the process.
3. Say no and mean it. Don't let tantrums move you. Say yes and mean it as well.
4. Let them be free to make mistakes. They learn from them.
5. Have wisdom to limit number 4 above.

All in all, a child must know that he/she is loved, that you're there when they call, that they can count on you and can come to you with any problem or dilemma they're facing without judgement and kukasirikwa.
Parent first, friend later.
 

Meria Mata

Elder Statesman
#7
For those of you who are parents what body of knowledge do you use to rear your children. We all want our children to become responsible, independent and successful adults. I would like us to share those here. Some of the ones I use are:

1. No TV on school days. The TV must be turned off when kids get home from school and remain turned off until they sleep. Similarly, it must remain off when they wake up in the morning. No exceptions are allowed.

2. Children cannot have more than two hours of screen time on any given day, weekend or holidays. So gaming on PS4/TV/tablets can only be used for two hours only per day.

3. A child must learn to take care if his own hygiene including cleaning up their inner wears, making their beds. On weekends, they must clean up their room.

I want to teach them to manage money and investments. Which other areas do you think are relevant? Where can I get learning materials on how best to achieve this goal?

@Meria Mata , @Mrs Shosho , @spear kujeni
you on the right track, sasa ongeza kiboko, ukikohoa wanasimama, thats how we were brought up, ukiskia "gojea babako akuje nimwambie" unajiharia mara that that.
 

Kigui

Village Elder
#11
you on the right track, sasa ongeza kiboko, ukikohoa wanasimama, thats how we were brought up, ukiskia "gojea babako akuje nimwambie" unajiharia mara that that.
To the contrary, I have never had to spank my children. I discipline them by explaining why their behaviour is unacceptable and then giving them timeouts. Timeouts are meant to put a kid in isolation so that he can reflect on his wrongdoing and understand it's implications on his life.
 

Kigui

Village Elder
#12
1. Don't punish to punish. Punish to discipline.
2. Let them be children and ease them into adulthood. Don't rush the process.
3. Say no and mean it. Don't let tantrums move you. Say yes and mean it as well.
4. Let them be free to make mistakes. They learn from them.
5. Have wisdom to limit number 4 above.

All in all, a child must know that he/she is loved, that you're there when they call, that they can count on you and can come to you with any problem or dilemma they're facing without judgement and kukasirikwa.
Parent first, friend later.
How do you remain open to your kids while maintaining respect?
 

1776

Village Sponsor
#15
How do you remain open to your kids while maintaining respect?
That calls for wisdom. Then again, being open doesn't mean disrespect. Hence parent first, friend later.
I would rather they get their wisdom and knowledge from me before they get it from their pals or the internet
OR, after scouring the net and asking their friends, they come for the final wisdom from me

Being open allows you to be their radar. With today's moral bankruptcy, you can't take any risks.
 

Kigui

Village Elder
#19
kama ni simu get them kabambe yenye haina internet just for emergencies..and also be open to talking about anything,that way they'll be more open to you about everything going on in their lives and you'll be in a better position to advise them
Kwa simu, it's a NO. Kwangu, you get a phone once you clear form four.

It should be possible to learn how to listen to them without intimidating them. Who has any materials on this?
 

Shemeji_x

Village Elder
#20
I personally don't have a family but in preparation of starting one in the near future, I have gone through a significant amount of material on parenting but I will state just a few fundamentals.

1. Don't hand things to your kids i.e PS, bikes or other things instead, give them a chance to earn it for example give them a milestone to be achieved within a certain period to earn the it as gift. This has shown foster a sense of responsibility, self reliance and prevents Sense of entitlement.
2. Teach by doing...
Children tend to dismiss contradictory advice i.e if you are telling them something yet personally you doing believe it or you don't practice it.
3.when giving punishment, make sure the child knows the wrong they did and why it's wrong before proceeding to give punishment. This helps to depersonalize the punishment..ie makes the child associate the punishment with the mistake and not you.
4. Stick your word. Consistency provides a sense of security and trust to a child which are important in the early years of an individual.
5. Teach them about the world.
6. Ask about their day. Fostering communication from an early age builds trust and makes it easy for a child to share things troubling them esp when in the pubertal stage where they may feel embarrassed to seek advice from parents.
Also communication can help a parent pick up something wrong with the child's environment ie cases of bullying etc that the child may not be aware of.
 
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