What Should He Do?

Mark Maish

Village Elder
#1
#ThisIsMyStory I just joined the 26-years -old forever club. Late last year I met this lady whom for months I had been ogling on social media and chasing for every bit of hope to commit for a date. She is beautiful I must say. That Monalisa-like smile made me just look at her and I would lighten up forgeting all my worries. This affair with her, escalated from a good time fling to a full-fledged relationship. We would meet up on weekends in my house, have lunch, drinks, dance, watch movies, F and such things that lovers do. Surprisingly she was not into the idea of going out for dates. In fact, she knows none of my friends.

Five months later she surprises me through a text that she is 3 months pregnant. After a pregnancy test and a scan as well, this becomes bitter sweet news but after all I had a stable job so no much to worry.

Three months later, another damning surprise comes, as we were having a late night pillow chat conversation on phone sharing secrets. She reveals that she has been on ARV drugs since 2015 after sharing earrings with her late mum who was infected. I didn’t care to listen since it seemed like a two-year–old reason to justify crap. Instead I went to a local joint grabbed a few beers as I absorbed the news.

Earlier on both my parents had passed on after battling with the disease for years which caused me so much pain and psychological torture. It took long for me to accept and move on. I could recall my mom writhing with chest pains on that PGH bed. I would hold her hand as she looked at me helplessly in mind that her life balance was hanging on tube. I couldn’t imagine going through the same and the stigma that follows. By Gods mercy I went for a test and I was HIV negative. This remains to be a testimony to date, though an unfathomable experience.

Life changed, we rarely communicated. I have since hated her for dishonesty and the pain caused. Later she gave birth to a baby boy whom was named after her first uncle. Despite everything I took care of hospital bills and registered them with a Nhif cover. I did all I could not to abscond my responsibilities as a father despite our unresolved feelings and ongoing issues.

However everything has been revolving around money as opposed to anything else. She has been taking advantage of me because she feels she can. Work has become so disinteresting. I feel so pressured and hassled. Almost all my salary just goes to her after excuses, ‘cjui pesa ya cucu ya chama ‘.

I just hate this life of living in pretense as it has made me not make much progress in life. I only see my friends and relatives achieve some degree of success or receive recognition. I smile and congratulate them enthusiastically, but inside I’m eating my heart out. Sometimes I think it’s easier just to walk away and not have to deal with all this conflict, drama and emotion. What do you think I should do?

Meanwhile Vodka is bae.

PS: #ThisIsMyStoryCampaign lets you open up, anonymously, about your struggles & how you deal with them. To take part, send your story to markmaina76@gmail.com.

Follow the series and comments on this story on https://www.facebook.com/MarkMaishCom/posts/1895331920492047:0

#MarkMaish #TheBrokeBillionaire
 
#6
#ThisIsMyStory I just joined the 26-years -old forever club. Late last year I met this lady whom for months I had been ogling on social media and chasing for every bit of hope to commit for a date. She is beautiful I must say. That Monalisa-like smile made me just look at her and I would lighten up forgeting all my worries. This affair with her, escalated from a good time fling to a full-fledged relationship. We would meet up on weekends in my house, have lunch, drinks, dance, watch movies, F and such things that lovers do. Surprisingly she was not into the idea of going out for dates. In fact, she knows none of my friends.

Five months later she surprises me through a text that she is 3 months pregnant. After a pregnancy test and a scan as well, this becomes bitter sweet news but after all I had a stable job so no much to worry.

Three months later, another damning surprise comes, as we were having a late night pillow chat conversation on phone sharing secrets. She reveals that she has been on ARV drugs since 2015 after sharing earrings with her late mum who was infected. I didn’t care to listen since it seemed like a two-year–old reason to justify crap. Instead I went to a local joint grabbed a few beers as I absorbed the news.

Earlier on both my parents had passed on after battling with the disease for years which caused me so much pain and psychological torture. It took long for me to accept and move on. I could recall my mom writhing with chest pains on that PGH bed. I would hold her hand as she looked at me helplessly in mind that her life balance was hanging on tube. I couldn’t imagine going through the same and the stigma that follows. By Gods mercy I went for a test and I was HIV negative. This remains to be a testimony to date, though an unfathomable experience.

Life changed, we rarely communicated. I have since hated her for dishonesty and the pain caused. Later she gave birth to a baby boy whom was named after her first uncle. Despite everything I took care of hospital bills and registered them with a Nhif cover. I did all I could not to abscond my responsibilities as a father despite our unresolved feelings and ongoing issues.

However everything has been revolving around money as opposed to anything else. She has been taking advantage of me because she feels she can. Work has become so disinteresting. I feel so pressured and hassled. Almost all my salary just goes to her after excuses, ‘cjui pesa ya cucu ya chama ‘.

I just hate this life of living in pretense as it has made me not make much progress in life. I only see my friends and relatives achieve some degree of success or receive recognition. I smile and congratulate them enthusiastically, but inside I’m eating my heart out. Sometimes I think it’s easier just to walk away and not have to deal with all this conflict, drama and emotion. What do you think I should do?

Meanwhile Vodka is bae.

PS: #ThisIsMyStoryCampaign lets you open up, anonymously, about your struggles & how you deal with them. To take part, send your story to markmaina76@gmail.com.

Follow the series and comments on this story on https://www.facebook.com/MarkMaishCom/posts/1895331920492047:0

#MarkMaish #TheBrokeBillionaire
Are you sure the baby is yours
 

Masood

Village Elder
#12
Akae ngumu. He should reduce support for the child to manageable levels. He should cut off support for her. He should ascertain if the child is his via secret DNA. If the lady pretends to go to court he should also take her to court for willfully exposing him to HIV. She knew she had it and so should have warned him. She may also fear her status being exposed. Atafute another gal asettle. Na awache kubahatisha maisha na watu hajui status. CD muhimu
 

Zinov

Village Elder
#19
My man..I'm a Nigerian and have seen alot..i won't judge you nor commend you..but I know how you feel. My advice is simple. You are in a jam of your own making.. First and foremost, let's explore some parameters. If she she is educated can she get a job? If not can she do business,? Have you done all tests to confirm paternity? Is she a reasonable person who understands the pressure you face?
Let's say you have explored all of the above and things are 100% positive on paternity, education and reasonableness on her part.
Call her meet up with her and have a heart to heart.
Explain to her what your going through and how emotionally, physically and psychologically drained you are.. Tell her how it's costing you happiness. Tell her you will keep supporting her (and you will) but she has to do something. Better still get her a job if possible or raise some funds and open a business for her once and for all..that way you stop pay daily taxes and cater for emergencies only.
If you do not strategize you will die earl and your life will have stopped moving because you will sleep eat and breath her alone.
Finally learn from your mistakes, be serious and be totally committed so you will also discover the right person. And be prayerful.
 

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