What would Hefner do?

I’m in a conundrum of sorts. I’m torn about whom to settle for, amongst the women who have expressed immense IoIs (indicators of interest) towards me.
I’ve turned 34 this year, and I think it is time to hang my player boots and dorn some keeper gloves. Problem is, I’m torn. I have 8 women/girls right now baying for a piece of me and their pursuit is relentless. 6 of these women were all born in 1996 (I don’t know what’s with me and 22yo lasses), one is 28 and another one 30.
I have a special bond with each and everyone of em, in a unique way. They are all head-turning beautiful, calling them dimes is an understatement. All I did was tease them with my cocky humor and showing partial interest in em and bam!
If I could have my way, I’d have a piece of each one of em and mold it into one super woman.
I don’t know what it is but everyone around me is always asking…“what do you give all these women they just seem to be eating outta your palms?” It takes me 5 minutes from being a total stranger to a woman, to her inviting me over for something…dinner, stroll, a movie, a swim, coffee and the clincher, some smash. But now its kinda overwhelming and I wanna have only one. Probably have a kid by year end and have her as the queen of me and mine.
But the theme of my life has been Eric Benet’s ‘Love don’t love me’. SoS!

Don’t force brathe…ikishindikana tupigie pass kwa hao wasaba.

Plane Janes only happen to guys out there, hapa madame wetu [SIZE=6]calling them dimes is an understatement.[/SIZE]

Unajipigia debe sana

Kumanyoko wewe…nirushie kuma moja pia

Field marshal wrote extensively about guys like you.

Halafu kila chali ni 6ft tall in perfect shape, billionaire & drives a German machine. Hey, it’s the Internet. You can be the man of your dreams.

:D:D Welcome back @mouraythee. If you want your marriage to last a lifetime you must disengage the small head. Think critically before jumping in…good luck!

There’s a hijabi TZ in there, 22. The taboo made it worthwhile. I’ll never look at hijabis the same way ever again. Freaks in disguise.
A Rwandese with a yansh for days, 22. These creatures were made for proper loving. The curves, crevices and in-betweens are to die for. Their men are wimps and wussies and the girls suffer in silence till they cross over to Kenya and find watu wana mistari kuruka.
A Ugandan, dark skinned kuruka but has the money-glow like Lupita, 28. The submissiveness is a buzzkill sometimes especially after being around know it all mungikiresses all my life.
A Meru with an insatiable libido and some mad kitchen skills, 22. Told me she’d kill me if I ever opted for another (I’m afraid she could make good her word)
A mungikiress who grew up in the Philipines. Like me, she doesn’t subscribe to the uthamaki gospel. We’ve had some major thrills and adventures coz she’s an outdoorsy girl, and she loves the motel kinda loving. She’s 22.
A mdawida who just oozes sex appeal, talks a good one, a yoga freak, all round good vibes, motherly at times but can never get bored around her, she wants a kid real bad coz she’s clocked 30.
A kisii/kamba who is everything I dreamt of in my teen years, kabarbie and the skinny thick kind, a creative who does outfits for female celebs, daddy issues kiasi but ignites my youthful side and makes me feel like a rockstar, she’s 22.
A TZ lass from Arusha, mchaga mmaasai, incredible cook, swahili naughty, kind hearted from here to Timbuktu, has the Ray-C eyes and waist/hips. She 22 as well.

I got the proverbial 99 problems but a lass ain’t one. But like Lost Boys once said

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGXBX9MKnxY

I’m 5ft7, my six pack is slowly and steadily fading, billionaire ni nyukwa, and I drive a Japanese machine. You can be the girl of your dreams though. Rock on.

It ain’t my fault you’ve got a low beauty threshold.

Wait, Purple went from a pinkie to a blue handle? Its really been that long a hiatus.

@Freakazoid

The new sheriff in town?

I have a Ugandan friend who advised me to steer clear of those women. That submissiveness and kneeling stuff is a psychological game designed to get you hooked and be easily manipulated (his words). He told me of his cousin who was so hooked he could not believe them when the chic started dishing out the goods whenever he travelled. If it were me huyu nje.

The Mdawida has it

Kweli kizungu kimekuzoea

Only on Kenyatalk ma Adonis na Queen Sheba types ndiyo uhook up…

The mellow me wants to pick her but the other voices in my head keep baying for the 22yo nicenesses. True that, the Ugandan submissiveness feels kinda corny to be honest. Used to fascinate me at 1st but now i want her to go ape like them Kenyans. Every weekend she spends at mine sees my next week well nourished and me looking dapper than most.

:D:D:D I am laughing juu of your insult huwa funny sana in Greek but mtu wa nje anawesa jam…uko na ushudren sana

Talking of queens of Sheeba, top on my bucket list is an Ethiopian lass. Correction though, not only on Kenyatalk, the streets I walk is littered with eye candy. Thats why while the rest of y’all were going mental from a pair of bleached knock knees I was vomiting in my mouth. Aim at 10s son, if you miss, at least the 9s will be a worthy fall back.