What's the most fucked up thing a guest did in your house?

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byro

Village Elder
#1
me, this friend of mine came for job interview and needed a few days then ajipange. After interview and a day later, came home drunk with a fellow visitor(guy i have never seen, and fucking wasted) and said nimpe an hour a reboot. asked if he knew guy well, said yes, he wasn't going far either. Being a cool guy, nikajipa shughuli around the hao. Kushtukia, guy woke up akaenda kitchen akaanza kukojolea sink. ati alikosa choo.
 

Wakanyama

Village Elder
#5
me, this friend of mine came for job interview and needed a few days then ajipange. After interview and a day later, came home drunk with a fellow visitor(guy i have never seen, and fucking wasted) and said nimpe an hour a reboot. asked if he knew guy well, said yes, he wasn't going far either. Being a cool guy, nikajipa shughuli around the hao. Kushtukia, guy woke up akaenda kitchen akaanza kukojolea sink. ati alikosa choo.
 

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Koolibah

Village Sponsor
#14
me, this friend of mine came for job interview and needed a few days then ajipange. After interview and a day later, came home drunk with a fellow visitor(guy i have never seen, and fucking wasted) and said nimpe an hour a reboot. asked if he knew guy well, said yes, he wasn't going far either. Being a cool guy, nikajipa shughuli around the hao. Kushtukia, guy woke up akaenda kitchen akaanza kukojolea sink. ati alikosa choo.
so he came with another dude, then that character disappears from the narrative. I thought it was waweru and our resident hekayaist.
 
D

Deleted member 1310

Guest
#16
i once dry fried a university chick i had picked up in a house party, the problem was that she defecated all over my brand new silk sheets when she reached her peak, apparently she had a problem controlling her bowels during sex
ew the only solution is to move house immediately! LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND! IF SHE GOT ANY OF THE POO ON YOUR d*ck, CUT IT OFF AND LEAVE IT IN THE HOUSE! ONCE SAFELY AWAY FROM STRUCTURE, PETROL BOMB IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Mundu Mulosi

Moderator
Staff member
#17
A former school mate phoned me that he was stranded in Bungoma town and he needed a place to sleep till morning. I had just moved into my new house which was not complete so we were using the pit latrine. I explained to him everything, jama anaamuka usiku anaweka SHONDE KUUUBWA! kwa choo ya ndani na haina maji alafu anaheba mapema kabisa kabla hatujaamuka. My wife was so pissed.
 

Alchemist

Village Sponsor
#20
Normally I sleep with a bottle of water 2litres at arm's length when I go drinking. Now this cousin comes from upcountry ready to join campus. I house him for the night, needless to say I had to orrient the guy around the house and how things work. Since I had played my nice card=not getting drunk my water bottle was empty. I left for work(night shift). When I returned in the morning, I found the dude had used the water bottle as a piss pot. Alafu anasema ati alikazwa! The toilet was just three steps away! I guess ni vile watu wa shagz wana zao...
 
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