What's the most fucked up thing a guest did in your house?

me, this friend of mine came for job interview and needed a few days then ajipange. After interview and a day later, came home drunk with a fellow visitor(guy i have never seen, and fucking wasted) and said nimpe an hour a reboot. asked if he knew guy well, said yes, he wasn’t going far either. Being a cool guy, nikajipa shughuli around the hao. Kushtukia, guy woke up akaenda kitchen akaanza kukojolea sink. ati alikosa choo.

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I am not sure but if I remember correctly one guy nearly sodomised my wife.
I think she wasn’t in the mood

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:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Hehe mine is not a guest…but one night nimetoka nikawacha bro kwa nyumba mlango sikuwa nimefunga…a drunkard then went ahead and entered the house. …mimi na bro ile war tuliona huyo jamaa hawezi sahau hata kama alikuwa mlevi aje

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Aki ya ngai hata wewe Ni njoker!!!

i once dry fried a university chick i had picked up in a house party, the problem was that she defecated all over my brand new silk sheets when she reached her peak, apparently she had a problem controlling her bowels during sex

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msenge ni wewe

Serious allegations. Ati nini? :confused::eek:

I found the guy packing some of my maize flour and rice packets in his bag, i think he was going though a rough patch

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Faggot!! village elder na hujui how to attach a photo??

mimi jamaa flani wa ocha aliwacha floater kwa loo, nilijaribu kuflash but haiendi, ilibidi ni ivunje vunje na kijiti ndio iende

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:eek::D:D:D:D:D:D

so he came with another dude, then that character disappears from the narrative. I thought it was waweru and our resident hekayaist.

mimi kuna time niliacha njugu hapo juu ya fridge, the left for work. i left the window open. Kurudi napata squirrel ziki Dryfryiana hapo juu ya fridge. dafuq!

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ew the only solution is to move house immediately! LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND! IF SHE GOT ANY OF THE POO ON YOUR DICK, CUT IT OFF AND LEAVE IT IN THE HOUSE! ONCE SAFELY AWAY FROM STRUCTURE, PETROL BOMB IT!!!

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A former school mate phoned me that he was stranded in Bungoma town and he needed a place to sleep till morning. I had just moved into my new house which was not complete so we were using the pit latrine. I explained to him everything, jama anaamuka usiku anaweka SHONDE KUUUBWA! kwa choo ya ndani na haina maji alafu anaheba mapema kabisa kabla hatujaamuka. My wife was so pissed.

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:D:D:D:D DEAD!

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:D:D:D:D:D:Dcocaine is a hell of a drug

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Normally I sleep with a bottle of water 2litres at arm’s length when I go drinking. Now this cousin comes from upcountry ready to join campus. I house him for the night, needless to say I had to orrient the guy around the house and how things work. Since I had played my nice card=not getting drunk my water bottle was empty. I left for work(night shift). When I returned in the morning, I found the dude had used the water bottle as a piss pot. Alafu anasema ati alikazwa! The toilet was just three steps away! I guess ni vile watu wa shagz wana zao…

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