Sometimes you create an opportunity, plan the game to excruciating details, and the stars align so well you can almost smell the prize. But then, even with meticulous planning, things can suddenly hit a snag, and you’re left clasping your hands behind your head wondering how the ferk you failed to score. This was today’s experience of a certain fisi neighbor (well, sort of a neighbor).
Some background.
This fisi neighbor ended his education at form four. He has not seen the door of a college. He is a ‘hustler’ but from where I stand he does nothing except roam the streets of the neighborhood. He is also a bonafide peasant; well, I’m a peasant too but even peasantry has levels.
Today he scored a major. He managed to convince a hot first year from Masinde Muliro university to give him slices. He had sold the sizzle quite well.
He had convinced her that he’s a fourth year student from JKUAT kakamega campus, who studies part time; hence ‘it’s rare to meet him around the campus building’. He had also convinced her that he’s a big time hustler who deals in ‘anything and everything’ as long as there’s Moola to be made.
The chic, an indisputable dim-eyed…, was very impressed. She had a class in the afternoon at exactly 1400hrs (you know how first years think they’re studying to save the world so they don’t miss classes) and had made it clear that she’d be off in time not to miss class. However, obviously, she was ready to squeeze in a quicky seeing as it was around 1245hrs.
As mentioned earlier, the guy is a peasant; so much he doesn’t have a room for himself and thus lives with some other guys in a shack he couldn’t possibly take the hot catch.
So, he had organized with my neighbor that he’ll come to take his slices at around 1300hrs. But for the girl, the story was that he’d offered the guy, ‘a second year from masinde muliro’, a room ‘before he figured out his shit out’:rolleyes:.
So far everything wa going according to plan, until the guy arrived at the door and found that the ‘second year student’ had left and he’d forgotten to leave the key. Hehe.
A few frantic phone calls and it was established that ‘he’d gone to class’ but he’s bringing the key ASAP; and then the waiting began. Like any good fisi in that situation; he did his best to keep the girl interested; complementing this or that, asking her personal questions to keep her from remembering she had a class at 1400hrs.
A few more frantic and impatient calls later and there still appeared like there was some hope. But, 1345 hrs and the guy with the key was still in the wind.
The opportunity was slowing but surely slipping through his fingers. All the while, the chic is asking, “kwani hunanga spare?”, “si umwambie apande pikipiki?”…among other impatient questions.
The weather turned and it appeared like it would rain anytime. She realized she wasn’t going to get any and began insisting she had to leave for class; a final RPG to the well planned game.
Fisi tried insisting she should come after class at 1600hrs; tried telling her he would come pick her up from class etc, but nyege zilikua zimeisha and the chic made it clear she was not coming back.
Downcast, beaten, and with saliva still drooling from his tongue, he had to endure the heartbreaking sight of his precious catch leaving without him taking his slices; and worse; just because he couldn’t get a venue.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the forces of nature can connive to deny you a well-earned opportunity.
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Waiting for he key…
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Story zikakaa kuisha na key haijafika…
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After a long wait the slices-taking meeting was called off…
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…a very sad day for this fisi!