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My landlord took a whole sufuria my omena
Yesterday evening, my landlord confiscated my whole sufuria of omena just because I have not cleared my rent for November. This has not gone well with me, I intend to sue him and with the honesty of the court, I am sure that the ruling will be in my favor.
The thing is, I have converted the spacious balcony of my hot bedsitter into a kitchen. Space is scarce in Nairobi. I had left to take the ugali to the table, and going back to the kitchen I saw a shadow vanishing and my omena was missing.
“Tuone utakula nini, sipendi mchezo… .”, my landlord threatened and left.
His voice is unmistakable.
I will sue him.
My rights are my rights.
I will lay sufficient and appropriate evidence of ratio decidendi: reasons for judgment before the honorable court.
I am pretty sure that the learned jury will demand that I stay for free without paying rent for my hot spacious bedsitter with excellent finishing for a whole calendar year. In any case, she/him and I believe in justice and justice is better served in equal ratio to the crime committed.
I don’t know anywhere in the katiba that allows my landlord to illegally take my food for having rent arrears. Do you?
“My lord, we all know that we are paid after working, why should I pay rent in advance”, I will reason with the judge.
I know the court room will be full and people of goodwill will be present. And many will be on my side. I am Mteule!
“You see, my landlord, who is in this court, used reason of force to infringe my right, I am using force of reason to take it back,” I will tell the honorable court.
This waiting makes me feel what I felt about sixteen years ago. When mama, was away at the market and the white hen, oblivious of the risk decided to lay an egg on my bed. The door to my cube was open and I could see the whole process. My plan was to take the egg and make mkorogo , a special kind of Spanish omelette.
That day my patience was really put on a test. To kill the anxiety I started singing a song that never existed before. I fully worked as per G clef sound with alternating alto, tenor and slight bass at the end of every stanza.
“Nyama nyama”
“Life is good, hens are good”
“Hens are goods, eggs are better”
“This one is the best”.
“Hata sipendi mayai ya kuku’, I shouted just in case the hen was hearing me.
At the door, I spotted the hen lifting its head. I was then sure I was to achieve my goal for the day. I gave the hen thumbs up sign and ran to the kitchen. I took the frying pan made of aluminum by China. Then I used to think China was somewhere after Nakuru town. Like you know, everything was made by China including my first Y-front.
After adding some Kimbo fat on the pan, I reduced the fire by removing some firewood and sprinkling them with water. Men are good cooks you know…
As I went to collect the egg, I sang: “ Nimeuona Mkono wa Bwana”
What caught my eyes was a shock of the century. Well, the hen was there, and the egg was there too. But the white hen was eating its own white egg.
I did what was to be done. There was an idle metal rod that proved useful…….and Mama has never known where the hen went to…She will never know about the miraculous disappearance of the white hen.
I am hopeful that history won’t repeat itself; I have learnt to lower my expectations in life. But nevertheless my landlord will meet me in court…
Justice for him,
Justice for me,
Justice for us all.