Juzi nimetembelea boy fulani mjaka hatujaonana siku mingi. I entered his humble aboard and in respectful Kenyan fashion left my very expensive sneakers outside. Na tukaongea na tukamaliza.
Kutoka nje my shoes are nowhere to be seen! Kiatu ya 30k Kenya money. Kwuuliza tunaambiwa na maid, “Mimi nimeona Odhis hapa kwa mlango saa hii tu kisha akaenda?”
Nikauliza , “Odhis ni nani?”
Rafiki yangu akajibu, “Manze ni cuzo! Walifunga shule juzi and he is visiting!”
Rafiki akapigia Odhis simu in mixed Dholuo, Swahili, English dialect, “Jaber jaber jaber… you cannot just pick any shoe here my friend? Hatutaushi hivyo, uko wapi saa hii?!!”
“Sawa harakisha! Five minutes ukuwe umefika! Five minutes!”
Five minutes became 30. I had other commitments. After numerous phone calls to Odhis to no avail mwishowe nikapewa sleepers mzee mimi nikastep. And I said kwa heri to the shoe.
Kumbe youngster alikuwa na date. Jamaa ameenda maroundie two days later ndio naambiwa nikujie kiatu!!
“Ati nikujie, huwezi niletea?!”
“Just come we talk… I’m really sorry!”
Nikaenda. I make the same mistake twice but this time nikawekelea my leather sandals hapo kwa welcome mat.
Odhis akaitwa. Akaamka. “Hapana sikuwa najua ni kiatu ya mgeni pole sana blah blah blah…”
Nikasema alright, all is forgiven.
Naletewa kiatu manze imechapa!! Na inanuka a mix of athletes foot disease mixed with @Mzee mzima 's morning chang’aa vomit.
Rafiki akamwuuliza, “Odhis yaani huwezi hata safisha kiatu?! What is wrong with you?”
Nikasema niko na shughuli wacha niishie. Nikatolee hasira mbele.
Rafiki akasema hapana, “Let me send the maid for some drinks you must have lunch!”
Against better thought nikatulia. Drinks zikatumanwa. Kidogo lunch imeletwa na the same maid. No drinks.
Rafiki akauliza, “Milkah si nimekutuma drinks saa hii kwani what happened?”
Milkah akasema, “Hapana juu nilikuwa napika nilituma Odhis!”
And as sure as rain I look over yonder for my sandals and they have disappeared!!
What is it with Luos and communal sharing of daily objects. Stories are told ukiwacha karai ya kuogesha mtoto ikauke hapo nje ya nyumba kwa plot ,mara utaskia ati Mama Omollo ameichukua akaogeshe mzee.
In foreign lands there are usually no property fences. You leave the hosepipe outside and forget about it since you know these white bastards don’t take without borrowing. But a few days later you stop near Ochieng’s house a few yards away and he is holding your brand new hosepipe.
“Hehehe rafiki I forgot to tell you. I was passing by your place the other day, I saw your brand new hosepipe parked on your grass and I remembered that my car needed a hosing down to get rid of the winter mud. But don’t worry my friend you will get it back in original condison! You know we Kenyans have to look out for each other!”
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