Why I Willingly Aborted My Three Babies

Mark Maish

Village Elder
#1
#ThisIsMyStory I am turning 27 in two months and already a mother of three. Three dead children. And no, I didn’t have any miscarriage. I willingly aborted my three babies. I know you’ll think, wait, is she human? I grew up in a loving home, had everything I needed, wanted and anything else in between. I was pretty much a daddy’s girl so my childhood was full of our outdoor adventures and lots of pampering.

All was rosy until my dad got retrenched, drowned himself in alcohol and turned abusive. I can count the nights we slept home in our beds. Majority of the nights we were chased out into the cold to sleep on verandas. Every night was a terror, afraid of what chaos he would arise. Some nights he would come and start beating her for no reason and no matter how much we tried to fight back, I was too little to help. I was barely nine years old then. The kicks and slaps would occasionally land on me and mum had to take the easiest route out, escape with her kids.

I never understood how my hero turned out to be my greatest nightmare. So I grew up with this deep ache and void that I couldn’t tell anyone because well, who wants to share that they live in an abusive home and every day as darkness approaches they want to die and escape the living hell??
The first man who gave me attention and tender loving swept me off my feet. I had just turned 18. I gave him my all but he didn’t reciprocate. Turned out he just wanted an easy lay.

Before I could figure out the next step I got pregnant. We were both in first year at campus, he couldn’t support a family, I didn’t want to make things worse at home so I got my first abortion. And boy did it make me a wreck, I turned promiscuous, sleeping around to numb the pain and give me a temporary distraction. E-pills became a daily diet. Didn’t take me long and I got pregnant again, this time with a married man. And again I was afraid of the shame it would bring me and the fear that I couldn’t support my baby so I aborted.

This spiraled me worse and five months later I was pregnant for the third time only that this time I wasn’t sure who was the dad so I couldn’t face it and my third abortion was procured. I was barely 24, all alone, couldn’t open up for fear of stigma so I turned to drinking and sleeping around. I struggled with my shame and my pain for so long till one night I dragged myself to church and broke down in tears. I wanted God to let me die but He wasn’t done with me clearly.

That night He reached down and whispered softly that I was His and if I allowed Him, He was able to rescue me, rebuild me and restore me. I surrendered my life to Him that day and it’s been one year and four months of walking with him in Purity (Yes, abstinence is possible only through His grace). Do I still think of my babies, yes I do. Am I feeling guilty? No. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Am forgiven of my past and healed of my pain.

Though I never got a chance to truly reconcile with my dad, his depression got to him and he committed suicide, but I hold no bitterness in my heart. I love him to bits even in death because at the end of it all, it’s the good memories that carry me through and above all, God’s Grace and unconditional love.

PS: #ThisIsMyStoryCampaign lets you open up, anonymously, about your struggles & how you deal with them. To take part, send your story to markmaina76@gmail.com.

Follow the series on Facebook @MarkMaishCom

~ Mark Maish
 
#7
The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss,And have found their way out of the depths. These people have an Appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, Gentleness, and a deep loving concern, Beautiful people do not just happen they are made. ‎
 

uwesmake

DRYFRY ARTIST
#8
The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss,And have found their way out of the depths. These people have an Appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, Gentleness, and a deep loving concern, Beautiful people do not just happen they are made. ‎

Niaje Fisi mkuu , hizo wire pelekea ngombe huko kwa zukabaga
 
#11
And then there is a innocent man who will go to church and spot a God fearing wife material.
The things that are hidden to men only jesus will deliver us.
My sentiments exactly. The wreck of women I see in church who I know of their past is at all time high. Afadhali ata kumeet dem kwa mat/ social events. Ur guard will always be up. But church woi!! Utadhani umeangukia Mary Magdalene, 10 years 3 kids later uambiwe alikuwa Malaya in some town and she dissapeared without a trace
 

rollout

Village Elder
#12
#ThisIsMyStory I am turning 27 in two months and already a mother of three. Three dead children. And no, I didn’t have any miscarriage. I willingly aborted my three babies. I know you’ll think, wait, is she human? I grew up in a loving home, had everything I needed, wanted and anything else in between. I was pretty much a daddy’s girl so my childhood was full of our outdoor adventures and lots of pampering.

All was rosy until my dad got retrenched, drowned himself in alcohol and turned abusive. I can count the nights we slept home in our beds. Majority of the nights we were chased out into the cold to sleep on verandas. Every night was a terror, afraid of what chaos he would arise. Some nights he would come and start beating her for no reason and no matter how much we tried to fight back, I was too little to help. I was barely nine years old then. The kicks and slaps would occasionally land on me and mum had to take the easiest route out, escape with her kids.

I never understood how my hero turned out to be my greatest nightmare. So I grew up with this deep ache and void that I couldn’t tell anyone because well, who wants to share that they live in an abusive home and every day as darkness approaches they want to die and escape the living hell??
The first man who gave me attention and tender loving swept me off my feet. I had just turned 18. I gave him my all but he didn’t reciprocate. Turned out he just wanted an easy lay.

Before I could figure out the next step I got pregnant. We were both in first year at campus, he couldn’t support a family, I didn’t want to make things worse at home so I got my first abortion. And boy did it make me a wreck, I turned promiscuous, sleeping around to numb the pain and give me a temporary distraction. E-pills became a daily diet. Didn’t take me long and I got pregnant again, this time with a married man. And again I was afraid of the shame it would bring me and the fear that I couldn’t support my baby so I aborted.

This spiraled me worse and five months later I was pregnant for the third time only that this time I wasn’t sure who was the dad so I couldn’t face it and my third abortion was procured. I was barely 24, all alone, couldn’t open up for fear of stigma so I turned to drinking and sleeping around. I struggled with my shame and my pain for so long till one night I dragged myself to church and broke down in tears. I wanted God to let me die but He wasn’t done with me clearly.

That night He reached down and whispered softly that I was His and if I allowed Him, He was able to rescue me, rebuild me and restore me. I surrendered my life to Him that day and it’s been one year and four months of walking with him in Purity (Yes, abstinence is possible only through His grace). Do I still think of my babies, yes I do. Am I feeling guilty? No. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Am forgiven of my past and healed of my pain.

Though I never got a chance to truly reconcile with my dad, his depression got to him and he committed suicide, but I hold no bitterness in my heart. I love him to bits even in death because at the end of it all, it’s the good memories that carry me through and above all, God’s Grace and unconditional love.

PS: #ThisIsMyStoryCampaign lets you open up, anonymously, about your struggles & how you deal with them. To take part, send your story to markmaina76@gmail.com.

Follow the series on Facebook @MarkMaishCom

~ Mark Maish
***,that mwoman is more used than a second hand probox.Mileage kama lori ya kuokota takataka

Car on Cart_small1.jpg
 

screwplus

Village Elder
#13
The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss,And have found their way out of the depths. These people have an Appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, Gentleness, and a deep loving concern, Beautiful people do not just happen they are made. ‎
Tell this guy doing kobes with relief supplies
the_river_stole_the__oxbtij.jpg
 

Tom Bayeye

Village Sponsor
#16
A foetus is not a baby, you made the right choice then to abort and structure your life well.
Correction , a fetus is a baby whose growth and development are aimed at prepping it for life on the outside.you must be a sack of scotrums.If your whole body is made up of cells and you are living breathing sack of scotrums,why is an embryo not a living thing? considering it has a heart,lung,brain and internal organs.Abortion is just the worst thing ever next to turning down a coomer<-----made that up.kama mwanamke hataki kuzaa,afunge hizo tubes zake .thats one of bullshiet story.People have knowingly given birth to kids with mental/physical disorders , rape and incestiuos affairs ,that biatch there thinks she's too privillaged of what negative people will say..Fwack people and get a life,they'll always talk
 

mona_lisa

Village Elder
#18
Correction , a fetus is a baby whose growth and development are aimed at prepping it for life on the outside.you must be a sack of scotrums.If your whole body is made up of cells and you are living breathing sack of scotrums,why is an embryo not a living thing? considering it has a heart,lung,brain and internal organs.Abortion is just the worst thing ever next to turning down a coomer<-----made that up.kama mwanamke hataki kuzaa,afunge hizo tubes zake .thats one of bullshiet story.People have knowingly given birth to kids with mental/physical disorders , rape and incestiuos affairs ,that biatch there thinks she's too privillaged of what negative people will say..Fwack people and get a life,they'll always talk
And why can't you men use a condom? It takes two to tango. She deserves the right to chose what to do with her body! Let God be the judge.
 
#19
I stand by the fact that a foetus is like a parasite living off the mother's will, if a woman ends the life of the fucking parasite what's the big deal? She will be free to live her own life.. scrotums ain't bad they held you @Tom Bayeye until you became a parasite and now an independent dimwit
 

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