Why Is Vanessa Mdee So Goddamn Hot? Captain Obvious Investigates

#1
First off, me, I like my women slim. Not that figure 11 slim, no. Slim but figure 8 type. Tiny waist, full hips, shapely butt, flat tummy, cute face that still retains a hint of innocence, you know? What I mean is I like super-hot, super-sexy, super-everything kind of women. Not ratchet, no no. They should be able to strike a balance between classy and naughty. Instead of kuongea miiiiiiiiingi, lemme give you an idea. I'm talking bout Huddah Monroe hivi hivi...

Having said that, and in order to appease feminists who'll accuse me of objectifying women, which is what I've done so far anyway, lemme also state that I like strong, intelligent, independent, blah blah yadda yadda ...women.
Anyway, what I'm saying is I like Huddah-like women, not the fat, stinky, sweaty, ugly creatures that most of you post here in the name of kusafisha mecho.
Now that that's clear, let's turn our focus to Vanessa Mdee. Ladies and gentlemen where do I begin?
Let's start by watching this video, taken around 5 years ago. She was already famous but not tooooo famous
Wadau, skizeni mtoto wa wenyewe vile ana-massage rusungu. Yaani the words are just rolling off her tongue. Like she's making sweet love to English with her mouth. (Quick sidenote: I don't think it's fair for a Tanzanian to be fluent in English, ok? They should be fluent in Swahili and suck at speaking English, that's an unwritten rule. The vice versa applies to Kenyans.)
Anyway, haka kavanessa, kako sawa, tena sana...yani saidiiiii. By the way, I only found out the other day that Vanessa Mdee is Namtero Mdee's sister. By "the other day" I mean around Jan this year. It never hit me that the fact that both of them are called Mdee could be a hint that they're related. I guess some people are generally slow.
Nimechoka ku-type. I can't tell you why she's so goddamn hot. She just is, ok? It's just nashoro hotness.
End of rambling thread.
 
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#14
Vanessa Mdee ni dry fry hadi kwa mkia. My God, there's just something about her.
Hata mimi napenda hio stuff. Hii unaikula kama groceries ©mhenga_Bilawaru
Arah! I thought I was alone.This woman is damn Hoooot ! And beautiful. HKM
Nilidhani I was alone. Slim think ndio Napenda. Hii maneno ya maguta maguta ya akina Uwes Pana taka.
Wadau, naona hapa kuna quorum. Tuite registrar wa saccos wa kenyatalk, mifupa sacco ikue officially rekokonised. For years we've suffered under the weight (and stench) of momos here. Never again!!!
 

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