Why uncle Thio hates me to date ...pt 1

There was a time I went visiting na huko muchatha for December holidays. I met most of my cousins who I hadn’t seen for a long time. While chit chatting I learn that on new year’s eve kutakuwa na two major events, a church service and a mugithi concert to usher in the new year. There was a heated debate kati yetu as to why we should go to the club when there was prayers at our local church. My vocal cousin who happened to be our senior was for the idea of kuenda mugithi and as is always the case he carried the day.

That evening while touring the village nijikumbushe area, we meet this beautiful Nyakio lady with meno tint and I fell in lust instantly. I had a little chat with her and realised I could get laid if I played my cards well. Not long after, my uncle Thiong’o aka uncle Thio sends me to the same girl’s home ati nimpelekee ka.package. I deliver it to her and made sure I saw what the content was by insisting afungue before nijitoe. Ilibidi nikuwe mjanja nimsho ni mimi nimem.buyia iyo maneno just to add madimanga kwa CV yangu. About the note that was given to accompany the package, hio nayo nilitupa after kusoma ile ufala uncle alikuwa ameandika. Unaanzaje kuandikia dem msupa ka huyo letter in greek.

So come that friday, the new year’s eve, while taking supper my uncle akaanza mambo ya, oh leo vijana lazima muende church ku give thanks to Mwathani not knowing that plan zetu zilikuwa at a very advanced stage. On the other hand he had his plans all laid out, kwa kifupi alikuwa anataka kuenda kuchota mtu na hakutaka usororaji ndo alikuwa anakazania sisi tuende kanisani. We had to lie that we would be going to church just to bring the hekaya to an end while at the back of our minds we knew our program.

We get together with my cousins and head out to the club. Passing near this homestead I notice Nyakio standing outside their house and being that she was considered the undisputed miss kijiji, majamaa walikuwa wanaogopa kumbongesha but I was determined to talk to her again hata kama ni salamu two, you never know. I beckoned her to come over pretending that I had lost my way, and was glad she was kind enough to try and explain things to me. Kusema ukweli nayo, dem alikuwa anang’oa kishenzi but it was no big deal as long as kanyau kakuwe sambamba. I made a wild suggestion for her to join us for mugithi which she outrightly rejected. What I din’t know was that the girl was a real party animal dressed in an innocent skin and was sure to attend the mugithi concert. Nikajiambia haisuru there is always a next time, ntamshugulikia tu. Coincidentally uncle Thio also had plans for this village beauty. The only problem is that he was a kiguoya in terms women and not confident enough to face a nyako.

Tukafika kwa club and guys are already kwa floor dancing to some old skool kikuyu songs and so we join in the fun. Later on ngoma imeshika, I excuse myself and as am heading towards the washroom I spot miss kijiji and same time someone grabs my hand from behind and goes, “Kuria ulikuwa uende kwa kanisa, nini unafanya na huku?”. Turns out it was uncle Thio, nikajua kimeumana. I lied to him that I had come to check on a former schoolmate and infact was on my way out to church. Akanisho nitulie he won’t say a word to the old man as long as I behaved and that meant only one thing. I had to do something for him in return. He goes on to say that since I was from the city na naelewa ‘cheng’ could I go and say praises for him to one town girl (I later learnt, thats how they referred to Nyakio as she could speak some broken english just like a real manzi wa tao) that he had a thing for but did not have the courage to face … (To be continued)

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Hapo sawa.

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hehehehehe… :smiley:

aaahh baga…maliza story

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English, Punctuations, humour on point.
Waiting for part two

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huyu ni yule @Muchatha

This hekaya is within the @mabenda4 Act.
Sida ni vile hakuna mbisha.

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I hope there is no fire involved this time round…hehehe

Lakini wacha ujinga wa TBC

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Niiice.nangoja condinuishoni

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Nice hekaya… Lakini uwache suspense…

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hehehe…
part two ni kukamua nyakio na kipigwo makofi na anko

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Malizia

I fell in lust.
Ngai mwathani. Hehehe
Thanks for saying it like it is

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Kuria Kunona you never disappoint

Nice hekaya. Waiting for climbing

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BOSS UJINGA YA TO BE CONTINUED TULIKATAAA NGOMBE

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F…

:eek::D:D:D nimeingojaaa!!!..

@Mrs4thletter unaona slicing is a way of life all over?

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Mpaka uncle…

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