Wizi Shuleni

While in primary school in class eight nilijipata ndani ya mtego wa panya bila kujua, reason being, suspion for doing my pass time hobby among which was kufufua dead vifuli and making keys to march.

So this day, a Friday and being the end month, we had each paid 100 bob for tuition which the teacher kept in the classroom cupboard and locked. After the evening tuition the class was dismissed and everyone went his way.

Our home was not far from the school and within a short while I was home. I changed into my home clothes and as always went to the video hall kutoa stress na kamovie kamoja ka kungfu before kurudi home. After the movie I remembered I had left my game and watch (an equavelent of today’s playstation) in my locked desk inside the classroom so I decided to get it before nifike home.

The door was locked but luckily I had my master key with me. Once inside I opened my desk, got my gadget and was about to leave when I noticed books on the floor next to the cupboard. Kuziokota, hapo chini nkapata 300 bob in 50 shs notes. Nikazikwachu spidi na kuchomoka from the class hoping sikuonekana. Nkafika home and after the usual drill ya kuforciwa kuoga plus kujiweka msosi vipoa nikajichoma bed happy that mpango ya the following day, a weekend ilikuwa already sorted.

After kufua uni za chuo na kupiga ka.passport shower, nikaenda base ya Wang’ombe kula chipo. Kufika napata maboy wangu wa class wako huko. Johny akadai nijoin bash atalipia kila kitu, mbona niregerege? Nkawajoin and by the time tukitoka hapo nlikuwa nmejiweka plates tatu za chipo na sausage kadhaa alafu nkashafisha na coke baridi ile madiaba (for the benefit of young turks, @Mzee mzima and co … madiaba ni ile soda ya half litre). I still had enough room ya kushikisha miwa tukielekea kwa video hall. Hapo pia Johny akatulipia nkashindwa huyu mboyz alikuwa ameangukia jackpot wapi juu si kawaida yake. Anyways there was no reason to complain. Jioni kufika tukaachana poa nikaiingia home and that was a weekend well spent kama ningeulizwa.

FFW to monday. Parade kuisha tukaenda class and after a short while class teacher akaingia. Kumada ile ufala ya good morning class tuka settle down ready for the day. Hapo ndo kizazaa ikaanza. Kufungua kabati akapiga ngemi hadi tukashtuka. We thought maybe amepatana na kanyoka huko ndani. Akageuka na kutucheki and without uttering a word akatoka nje. Kidogo akarudi na headmistress na discipline master tukasense nikungory. Wakacheki cheki alafu wakatoka nje and had a small discussion hapo tu kwa mlango.

Hao kurudi ndani maswali zikaanza ndo tukajua kunaendaje. Pesa za tuition zile tulilipa was missing and from the mess inside the cupboard someone must have taken it and left in a hurry. Hapo ikaclick where ile soo tatu nilipata hapo down ilitoka. I hadn’t told no one and was not about to do so at that moment juu hio ingekuwa ni more fire.

Hao kuchoka kutuuliza bila kupata any response wakajitoa. Kutulia kidogo nikakujiwa. Watchie @uwesmake ndo alipeana 411 kumbe aliniona nikichomoka hizo ma area friday jioni and being mujamaa ma master keys (even the teachers were aware of my rare talent) nikapewa hio post ya mwivi unopposed.

Kufika kwa ofisi bila kuulizwa swali nkakaribishwa na slaps kadhaa na sweep followed by a nice coating ya viboko then nikaambiwa niketi pale … kwa kona. What followed was more questions na extra viboko bila allowance ya kujibu. Kidogo Uwes akarudi tena, akasema kuna maboy pia aliwaona hapo nyuma ya class that friday and when asked kwa nini hawajaenda home wakadai ndo wamemaliza kuchop. They were well known to the gateman and so it dint take long before waletwe to the torture chamber kujibu mashtaka. By then 3 more teachers, wafyam walikuwa wamejoin the party na dose za dawa zikaendelea kupeanwa.

Kumbe ile ‘bash’ ilitubamba weekend was all our tuition money na vile nilijiweka na ubaya. Anyways this was jus the beginning of a very long day. Nikama chief alipigiwa simu juu kidogo tu ma afisa wawili wakakuom. Wakatuchota maboy wanne … Johny the ringleader, Davy, Peter and an innocent Kush, tukaonyeshane mahali tumeficha doo na sahio sijui anything about the heist apart from ile chipo nlikula.

Kwanza tukapitishwa kwa chief for preview of things to come. Ile vita tulipewa huko ilibidi Peter aseme tu ukweli. Alinyoroshwa akachoka kulia mamiii … ikabaki tu alie baaba. So hapo tukafunganishwa tip za mashati pale kwa waist wawili wawili ndo tusihepe. Ikawa ni kuenda kwakina kila mmoja wetu kukwachu chapa kule zimefichwo.

Tukaanzia kwakina Johny then Peter alafu kwakina Davy and collected whatever money was left. Finally ikawa ni kwetu. Hapo nilijua tu nikipata mzee Njoro home mambo yangu kwisha juu huyo mujamaa alikuwa terror hizo enzi. Tukafika home and luckily mzee Njoro was not around but my favourite uncle Thio was there, amekaa juu ya mawe hapo inje anaota jua.

Kutuona akashtuka, kufikiria kuhepa akaambiwa atulie. Akajua nko kwa noma so akanipiga signal which nilisoma spidi. Nikajitoa kwa shati kama makmende nkaachia huyo boy tulikuwa tumefungwa na yeye nkakula kona. Kuzunguka pande ya nyuma kuna ka club, napata wabaluya fulani wameweka gorogoro ya puya na mirija wanajibamba. Mimi huyo nkapita na hiyo busaa, ikamwagika. Kabla wajue kunaendaje afande @pamba akatokea akinifuata, majamaa hao wakaingia mitini.

Uncle Thio ndo alibaki kwa hio noma akachukua place yangu. They checked the house thoroughly but didn’t find anything so wakamchota aende ajibu mashtaka on my behalf.

I came back home 3 days later and found uncle Thio looking like crap juu ya ile vita alipewa for aiding a ‘common thief’ get away. I still owe him for taking a bullet for me.

Mzee Njoro came to learn about it and as they say the rest is history. Kwa kifupi nliona cha mtema kuni, though later on maboy waliconfess and I was vindicated of all wrong doing na faida yangu for the trouble was the 300 bob zile nilipata. After all that, I closed shop. Mambo ya kuunda vifuli nkaachana nayo.

This man Uncle Thio has suffered a lot for you

:D:D:D:D:D

The hekaya was very enjoyable. Mr. @kush yule mnono you are a master storyreller.

Kanono the hekaya master… hekaya iko juu

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Bravo Ndugu Kuria
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well done @kush yule mnono …na pole kwa msiba, a career died na pengine unge headhuntiwa na Godrej…

:D:D kanono unakuwanga na hekaya fiti sana. Mi hukupea like hata kabla nisome

" the usual drill ya kuforciwa kuoga" hahahahha na uko class 8 buda mnono, wewe umeniangusha serious, cant imagine the smell of sweat on you na ulikua mnono, hekaya iko tibim but thio inakaa ni suspect sana

As usual on point hata sijui niseme.

Hehe … buda hio njeve ilikuwa hizo enzi, unge bribe.iwa ndo uoge na sahizo bafu iko pale nje karibu kwa gate

:D:D:D:D

nime elewa we umesomea slopes za mlima Kenya nami nilikua pahali pana joto sana huko kisumo

:D:D:D:D. Safi sana kush, at some point just like in most of your hekayas, you had to run.

hehehehe hekaya iko sawa. kwetu ungepiga kila mtu and no one would snitch

Inaitwa kufanya orako :D:D kukithùka mwanaume lazima ajipe shughuli kesi imfuate baadaye

Hekaya swafii…chipo mwitu ndio ulikuwa umependa

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@kush yule mnono, hi diet hukuiacha?

Kanono hekaya iko fyn.