So this week a former colleague came over from another town , she came for some biz, we meet talked and she was to be around for the whole week so we planned to meet again before she leaves. Now what happened is that after work I went to a certain popular spot to meet up with a friend . So my fren was there before me and so I came we ordered tukaendelea. Kidogo kidogo my former collegue checked in with a guy I know as her exe. Like the last guy she dated before she got married. I also know her hubby and I was like family friends with both of them. So we were sitted on a terrace, them they went to a corner like watu wanataka kujificha. I didnt think much of it. Since they are both married …to other people . Just thought they were catching up . So mimi nikaendelea with my date with my friend . So we decided the place is getting abit crowded let’s move to a more private and quieter place. So tukitoka nikakumbuka the lady and even thought to go say hi but what I saw made me reconsider. They were all over each other like a couple. Heh! I was like ok. I guess its an out of town rendezvous. So sis tukaenda zetu. She didnt see me. Ofcourse mimi siingiliangi mambo za couples because I know theres also alot of hypocrisy in these marriages. Btw hawa ni watu wa church sio watu wa pombe or anything of that sort. Ile kitu mimi hutaka kuuliza especially ladies because Ive seen this ex factor enough times, I was even in a wedding where the bride left the groom in the honeymoon and went to move in with her exe. Mimi hushindwa if you guys were in a relationship usually for years , why didnt you guys get married yet you had the opportunity but now you are married to someone else suddenly the love for the exe comes back. Like why recycle your garbage? Its like taking the trash out for garbage collection then you go back and bring it back in. Nimejaribu kuelewa hiyo kitu imenishinda coz to me thats just being cheap . You go cheat on your spouse with someone you dated for years and decided you dont wanna settle with? Atleast you could if you must be with someone completely new. Maybe you are having the 7 year itch I here married people get. Why your exes of all people? Aii. Like a dog going back to eat its vomit. Ladies where is your dignity. If the guy was so fabulous why is it that you never married him and have his kids but you think he is special enough to cheat on your spouse and the father of your kids with? One time I asked someone who did this and she told me her husband cheats too so she’s entitled to ‘return matches’ so I asked her if her husband started smoking would she return the match by picking up the habit and following his lead? So she asked me what would I do and I told her I’d just stop having sex with him or insist on using condoms but I wouldn’t go out and hook up with guys just to get even with a man and its even worse when you go to an exe because its like you are admitting that you couldnt do better than him and that your spouse aint shit. I dont know but ladies we really need to live a life that is dignified even when you are not happy in your marriage. Hooking up with exes is just so cheapening and demeaning. Whether they are single or married or whether you are single or married. Theres billions of men in this world why the heck should you recycle your garbage? Ah! Have some self respect just a little bit. Exe means Exe. End of rant.
Some ex’s sex is too hard to forget, we keep touch for our whoring tendencies and needs
Corona virus imepata cure…
Georgina andu manehumbira na murengeti umwe ndungimenya uhoro wao. And if you knew what happens in those apartments in NBO at lunchtime huwezi sema kitu. Na sisi huku we are busy enjoying shift work. Unaambia hubby uko job…kikiki women today are giving as good as they get. You cheat on me… I cheat on you too…tukutane jioni nyumbani and play happy families.
One day on one of my rare trips to Jamu, we went to some restaurant for lunch. We found our good friend from school there… cosy in the arms of a gifathe who is not her hubby. She was wearing shades. She works in a neighbouring country and comes home every weekend… only this was a weekday.
She was sooooooooo embarrased but we exchanged pleasantries and all dat but it was horrible. We ordered some drinks and left immediately and moved elsewhere. Mdogo mdogo sistas and I were blocked from her FB. Hihihihihi…c’mmon now hihihihi…
this things happen alot.People cheat alot in Marriage this days.If men in this forum were honest we would be suprised how many married women are currently cheating.
not surprised at all.
Let people cheat Makena. Their day will come.
Marriages are overated nowadays
Ndoa nikuvumiliana,if we could speak of marriage,those that aren’t yet married wouldn’t marry.
Mavi ya kale hayanuki… Na Mwenda tezi na omo hufunzwa na ulimwengu
mwenda tenzi na omo marejeo ni ngamani…
Some are too naive… Dont forget kuna those who like to explore then realise hakuna kitu new hehehe like all men are dogs better go back to the lesser one … Usisahau kuna pia wale in the name of not going back to the ex anajipata kwa worse scenario… It’s all in your head mi husema hakuna ex…
Let me start by saying people are different same goes to the exes,circumstances that brought them apart are different too,
kuna exes wakiwachana hawakuwa na ubaya walielewana,wengine it was violent,
others ni circumstance ziliwaseperate… different scenarios for all these people we give a general word for “EX”
But these people arent dead they are alive linking up with them is easy
Especially if you had a good connection before the break up, mark you if one of the spouse is heartbroken kwanza ladies the first person to run to wakikosana ni Ex
Boys akikosa form na maclande wake anatafuta contacts za ex
This goes to show there is lots of immaturity na relationships za siku hizi instead of solving problems pamoja yall run and pretend everything is okay
afadhali you loose your dignity to the scumbag you lost
Why would a lady hook up with her ex instead of the new guys?
The lady still has feelings for the exe, they still live in that fantasy world
Most probably she entered the relationship, right after the break up…
Which makes the new guy the rebound guy, sadly
But you know what they say …HOMES IS SMOKE
I always say, the niggas who go back to their exes are the kind who don’t understand themselves, full stop.
Mtu anajielewa hawezi rudia ex no matter the shit you are going through
in the tradational society,there was nothing like cheating.men had several wives.Then mkaletewa white man’s culture in the name of christianity.monogamy is totally foreign and never fits with africans.worse still,those who pretend to be holier than thou christians are worse.wife ya pastor athicagirwo kahuaini akainuka na mbuni itina but the following day,she is leading in the praise and worship team
mwaga mtama
Red pill ishatupatia onyo ya kutosha. Tunajua nyinyi mabwana huwa mnajipiga tu punyeto juu bibi ashakuwa frigid vile ashapata ile security alitaka kwako
The question here is one of moving on from the past. So whether the husband was the rebound guy or not. He is now the husband and the father of your children, even when he is cheating. Even when you are having whatever problems, you made a covenant before God. For better for worse. I think for majority of women marriage is just a goal. They never really think about the level of commitment they are making. So later on they are overwhelmed by the fact that men change after marriage especially after kids bcz they know that the woman is going nowhere. So her way of dealing with feelings of being helpless and being duped or conned is cheating. I see it even in the corporate world. The easiest people to sleep with are married women, all you have to do is time her when she’s annoyed with the husband, flatter her abit, before the day is over you have slept with her without spending any money and without even a condom. But the disappointment is a normal part of marriage. The problem is that women are never cognizant of that fact. They think that the chilvary exhibited during dating will continue in dating. Mateso and infidelity ikianza the lady goes into deep depression and then decides to cope by cheating.
I think she feels worthless bcz the husband is not treating her well so she also sleeps around bcz her self esteem was predicated on the husband. So the best people to boost self esteem is the exe to tell her how he misses her and regrets losing her. Which is lies but she is clutching straws. Ladies must have self esteem which is distinct from external things like men. It’s very dangerous to base your self esteem on what a man thinks of you or how a man treats you. You see this in women after breaking up with a guy they start sleeping with anyone who approaches them to deal with the pain and hurt of the breakup. Women must have grit. And not base their self worth on men. And also must have principles. If you are a Christian and you decide that adultery and fornication are wrong then don’t start doing them bcz you are annoyed with your husband for betraying you. There are many ways to get back at him with out sleeping around. Like declining his sexual advances. It’s not a matter of if you cannot beat him join him in the pigsty of adultery. No.
In life you are an individual. If your husband gets a drug habit, you won’t get your own bcz you are angry and disappointed and this is not what you signed up for. So why go do something demeaning and self harming to get back at your philandering husband?
To me the worst case scenario whether you are married or not is going back to your exe. To me there’s no lower low than that. After all you were so fed up with this person that you left a serious relationship probably spanning years, now here you go again back to them? For me even stopping to talk to an exe if I bump into them is an experience I avoid. I don’t want to be dragged back to the past. One evening I was walking to my car at the parking lot of a certain mall, I saw an exe I hadn’t seen in years. He was on the phone , standing by his car, I was like thank God he’s on the phone. So I behaved like I am very preoccupied and I haven’t seen him. Imagine he walked all the way from were a he was, still on the phone and held my wrist. So I had to wait till he finished with the phone call. Then a very belaboured conversation started of him asking me questions then me not replying then him answering his own questions. After a few minutes I told him someone was waiting for me gotta go. As I was walking away all that’s going on in my mind is, imagine at one time I actually considered marrying this guy, what the heck was wrong with me, what was I thinking? Like kweli watu hutoka mbali. Then I pray to God to please keep my exes out of my way. Tusikutane anywhere in this life. Let our paths never cross. Btw since niombe hiyo maombi sijawahi kutana na huyo jamaa or any other exe of mine for that matter.
And it’s not like he’s a monster but it’s just that I know him very well and there’s something about him that so I couldn’t live with enough for me to call it a day. And not want to get married to him, have children with him or have any kind of Association with him. So for me, if I am done with you, I am done. Like in my mind I am very clear that you are no longer worth my time, energy and emotion. And I am those people who when I decide something I don’t look back. I am radical. Nikiamua nimewacha nyama nimewacha, no dithering. So the only exes I have nostalgia about are the dead. Maybe if they were still living I’d have the same good riddance attitude I have to the living. I see exes as enemies of my happiness that I had to get rid of, like a bad investment that resulted in losses. That’s how I see them. I don’t see them as people who I want to even have as friends. I don’t know. I think I am very harsh when I feel let down bcz compared to the kind of things I hear women go through I’ve never been in a very toxic or bad relationship. It’s just somethings I didn’t like about the person’s character. Not things like cheating or physical abuse. Maybe bcz I grew up in a tumultuous marriage I feel like I have had my fair share of relationship stress as a child and as an adult I am not ready to go through anymore stress from relationships. So nikiona tuu dalili of some thing I do not like. And I realize that its your nature you can’t change. I will just move on. There doesn’t have to be like an incident. It’s just if I start resenting something about you I will not think twice bcz I am in a relationship to be happy not to be stressed and resentful just tolerating somebody. Thankfully when you are not physically involved, not married, don’t have kids together or work together . It’s as easy as just blocking the person and going no contact. And the person ceases to exist. It’s like they died. Unless unfortunately you bump into them somewhere but even that can be stopped by prayers. God helps those who resolve to leave their past behind. For a better happier future. I am very vigilant and militant about my happiness. Anybody causing me any type of unrest I shun them like the plague. But that’s just me. I know that I don’t handle stress well so I avoid anything triggering at all costs. And in my mind if I associate you with negative feelings it doesn’t change even after 20 years. I am those people who buy a book and if chapter one does not jazz me, I will never touch the book again. I won’t say bcz I spent money on it wacha I try to read. At least to salvage my investment. I am very quick to cut my losses. And when it comes to relationships my policy is that I don’t recycle. With so many people on planet earth I don’t see why limit myself to one person who isn’t even worth the trouble ati bcz we have history together. I am a connoisseur of new beginnings. I love the novel. Not the past. New is exciting and adventure and full of possibilities. The past is nothing but a bucket of ashes. If it wasn’t meeting your expectations then it won’t meet them now. So going back there out of frustration in your current situation or even loneliness if you are single is a big blunder. That you will live to regret. Growth is antithetical to regression.