Would you marry a woman just because she fell pregnant by you?

You wake up one day and look at your life and can’t believe that is where you ended up. You never pictured it playing out that way, but you are so deep in that shit that there is basically no pulling out. You become resigned to the fact of living out the rest of your life in the mediocrity and frustration. You will never become the man you always wanted to be, you will never achieve the goals you always wanted to. All because you didn’t wear a bloody rubber. And she pressured you into marriage soon as she landed your pregnancy. What a waste of life! I wonder how many men destined for greatness end up living mediocre lives because of this.

Article from Business Daily January 8 2015.


It is hard to believe how my life has turned out. I had imagined that I would get married at 40 but here I am a husband and father of two children with a third one on the way.

If someone asked me, I am happy, I would hesitate for a second and say, “I guess I am.” Let us start with the job situation; I have been working on the same procurement and logistics job for the last six years despite the fact that I had planned to change jobs after year three.

Truth is that I have become somewhat comfortable and a bit hesitant to change jobs considering that our sacco gives loans at six per cent and as a manager in procurement and logistics, I enjoy a lot of clout both inside and outside the company.

There are times I feel that I have enough goodwill that I can run for political office some day, maybe in our constituency back at home.

Peninah, has managed to be a good homemaker though she keeps pestering me about the need for us to have a church wedding. You see, we ended up as husband and wife by pure default.

When I was in Mombasa, Peninah would come visiting me from time to time and after a while that changed to twice a month. After four months of such visits she came to me with the news, “We are expecting.”

She said it with a lot of excitement and I just could not understand what was giving her such joy and so I responded, “But this was not planned, I am not ready to be a father.”

This really annoyed Peninah and she left in a huff. That afternoon, I went to the pub and took a lot of alcohol to numb the fact that I was scared of becoming a father and I did not know what to do.

After a couple of days, I called Peninah but she would not take my calls and she refused to take any of the calls throughout the pregnancy. By month eight, I was actually enjoying the fact that I had escaped the issue of becoming a father.

My life was going on well till about a month later when my father called me and summoned me.

“You need to come home immediately.” Something in his tone told me that this was important and that he would not take a No for an answer. So, I headed to the village.

When I got home, I was stunned to get a rather lukewarm greeting from my mother and spotted about four of my uncles sitting under a tree. All kinds of scenarios played on my mind: “ Was my father unwell? Was there a family dispute?”

I shook hands of my uncles who coldly told me, “Young man, sit down!” I sat and asked, “Where is my father?” My uncle told me, “He is coming and once he is here we shall start?”

I stammered: “Start what?” One of my uncles known for his sarcasm said: “You are too young to be asking me so many questions, just wait.”

Link to full article: http://www.businessdailyafrica.com/Long-monologue-that-turned-me-into-a-husband/-/539444/2582520/-/50xc6u/-/index.html

Eka full… Hatuna time ya diversions

The rate of single mums is worrying. It takes two to tangle. Protection is the key

Depends on a lot of factors

But pregnancy alone should not force u to marry her, but you should take care of the child hata kama mama yake ni malaya

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by the time i am impregnating you then you are fine by me.
i married my first wife when in form three because of this,it is a decision i never regret.
siwezi taka mwanamke akapige umalaya na mtoto wangu but if you are already married it gets complex

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If she had not intended to ‘trap’ you, there is no problem. The big problem, however, is this: living your whole life without ever realising that you were simply set up(‘trapped’). Yaani, you live a whole lie throughout your life. And you’ve got only one life. Knowing how women are devilishly cunning, I would be a dad without being anyone’s husband.

Here is the mystery I have never understood: How comes most of the women who get married because they are pregnant can go for 7 years without getting another kid? I expect that since perhaps I DF you only once and you ‘accidentally’ became pregnant, then once we start living together, at least in 2 years you should be pregnant again.

But women are just so secretive and scheming that the best thing is to not become incessantly entangled with them. Especially in the so called modern, ‘liberal’ world that treats women like innocent angels and men like demons that need to be constantly and legally shown their place.

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vaeni Yokohama majamaa. it saves you a lot of anguish and complications of life later…

@Massive101 how did that family meeting pan out?

Most guys who marry for that reason often lead miserable lives, if only what they were after in the first place was a convenient vessel just to empty the loins. The search for that ideal partner in their lives ends up being a life long venture. Those are the kind of guys you see here confessing to having hordes of girlfriends and banging pokos left, right and centre.

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???

quite true and the kid grows up in a toxic environment with constant arguments and issues, no need for that afadhali awe anakuja to spend time with me weekend or as agreed and he gets the notion that dad and mum are in very good terms

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what is wrong with that?
she divorced me this jan after kufikiria amepata pesa sana kunishinda.
they were good twelve years

I agree.

Most people assume that kids don’t pick up on animosity between parents but they do.

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kids are bright than you give them credit for.
if there is hostility the kids can pick it up like those russian anti missile radars.
then there are those offhand remarks made by both parties.
like.
women: sijui babako ni mwanamke sampli gani.
man:mamako anafikirianga nimepanda pesa na hapa nyuma ya nyumba kazi yangu ni kuchuna tu

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Most of the so called unwanted pregnancies are well schemed traps cleverly and coldly executed by women for material, social or whatever their reason gain and men have little choice in this matter.

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it doesnt matter if you are together or one of you is living in pluto,they will pick it nonetheless

Problem right there of marrying in underage.

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okay I gotta ask though. Why do men like playing the victim when it comes to this subject? Some of your comments make it sound as if women sneak into your bedrooms at night, harvest your … whatever … then run home, assume downward dog position and then proceed to pour the contents down their … hatches.

Ya’ll need to stop pointing fingers for like 2 mins and recognize that it takes 2 people to make a baby. Unless you were raped, there is no trap. You know exactly what happens when you stick your deek in a vagina sans protection. How is that a trap?

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Too bad I can’t triple like this

[SIZE=7]![/SIZE]

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The problem with our women is just that akianza kushika tujisenti anaanza kujifeel, I saw the same with my uncles wife and it has nothing to do with age they had been married for some 20+ years

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