Long read!
This morning I woke up at 7AM thinking it was Sunday. I wanted to shower and go to church but i decided against it and chose stay indoors and watch a sermon. Incidentally hakukua na stima.
So I decide Nitoke hapo nje, breath some cold air and let my face soak in the morning sun. While sitting outside my door (remember in this estate hakuna gate so ukitoka nje uko kwa njia ya kila mtu wa hio line), this mwoman comes holding a dustbin heading to the pipa a few more houses down after my door.
Vile alifika karibu na mlango yangu naturally nkamsalia, “morning”. She looks at me and declined to respond. Now, this lady is not an immediate neighbor, hatujuani vizuri; but sometimes it’s only natural to say good morning to someone.
Anyways, that incident got me thinking. It’s the same thing that happens when you try starting a conversation with a female stranger. Sometimes uko kwa mat you see something unique, you point it out to the girl sitting next to you, she looks at you like you want to rape her. You go to the club, the girl sitting next to you has been sitting alone for 1.5 hours and when you try starting a conversation, the first thing she says is grossly mundane, like ‘I’m waiting for my boyfriend’ or something similar.
Sometime back, I was at a library trying to complete some work over the weekend. There was a girl sitting on the other side of my table facing me; obviously reading for an accounting exam. We exchanged a few glances here and there in between the 3-4 hours I was there. She left earlier than me by about half an hour.
Then as I’m walking back home, she joined the road and was now behind me. It was a long and relatively deserted road, so I thought, there’s no harm in engaging her as we obviously are going towards the same direction.
So I slow down polepole and when we were side to side I tried to break the ice. However, the girl increases her pace and leaves me wondering WTF?!?
Maybe I would have provided some insight into her upcoming exam, maybe she would have learnt an idea from me, or me from her. But she singlehandedly trashed the opportunity.
Most young girls think that if you’re talking to her, it’s probably because you want to f**k her. There’s truth in that logic but sometimes it’s not the immediate goal.
Sometimes you just want to talk; have a conversation; know someone new; make a new friend. However, most young women have been cultured to believe in not accommodating a guy with whom they don’t have common ground. Cold approaches no longer work for this reason, unless the girl is very open-minded, and most are not.
For a girl to comfortably/confidently talk to you, it must be because you’re in the same class, work at the same building, or she sees you in the same church, or you have a common friend etc. It could be a security thing, but not entirely.
Conversely, engaging a fellow man in a conversation is very easy. Sometime back I was at the club slowly sipping my tusker and there was this lass shaking her ass a few meters from the table I was sharing with another guy. Anyway, I realized that we were both looking at the same ass intently.
So I broke the ice and made a comment about that ass to the other guy. We spent the next about twenty or so minutes philosophically evaluating the female behind; the different types, the impact of a shaking ass on the mind of a man; the inheritance of an ass; Vera sidika etc. Turns out the guy was a hotshot lawyer in Kach. We had a great conversation and I also received some free legal advice on some issues.
For young women, that wall they erect deprives them of the opportunity to possibly have a good or bad conversation, all which can create experience and can be fun.
More so, It demonstrates a deficiency of confidence to at least say ,“I’d like to talk to you but right now i don’t wanna talk.” Or just plainly, “I don’t feel safe talking to you.” That way she can make a point and expressly declare her position. But an 18-25YO woman ignoring someone makes her look grossly prejudiced and immature.