25 Jambas

[system]

@FireOne Euler hekaya zako zote timaam…

[Euler]

@Chifu

:D:D:D:D:DNewcastle alias kihuruto has wiped out lots and lots of village chicken in the past.

Kihuruto gave me a date with the sub-chief for failing to pay the Shylock on time

[Euler]

@747Captain

hahahahaha, very funny…it also happened to my uncle, au you are my uncle?
the last amd strongest cock died while they were bargaining with a buyer, at the buyer’s hands!! the buyer gave back the cock.

@Motokubwa

kuku haina ugonjwa,ukiona iko karibu kukufa kata kichwa one time,ulitupa nyama mingi sana

Nani alisema tulipa zote? My cuzo carried one home and boiled with a lot of pilipili. The woemn refused to eat. The boys and men made a small bash :D:D:D:D

[mayekeke]

:D:Di:D:D

[system]

Haha I imagine having your Jambas die like that must have been soul crushing… Pole funny hekaya though :D:D:D:D:D:D

[Euler]

@Machinist

Haha I imagine having your Jambas die like that must have been soul crushing… Pole funny hekaya though :D:D:D:D:D:D

I didn’t know what to say. In fact, nilijipata nimeambia Wa Caro “can I marry you”. But Ile matusi nilipewa wacha tu

[Euler]

@747Captain

hahahahaha, very funny…it also happened to my uncle, au you are my uncle?
the last amd strongest cock died while they were bargaining with a buyer, at the buyer’s hands!! the buyer gave back the cock.

Those hens let them just stay

[Scott_Gardener]

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Am not laughing at your misfortune, but hiyo part ya mandazi waah!

[Senje]

@FireOne Euler

Biashara si rahisi as many of us know. At face value, unaonaga everyone else must a fool for not investing in the area you are targeting. But the worst happens if you jump with the wave. Quail business? Ngikomba bale business? Biashara ya kuku? Not many years ago my area was gripped with the biashara ya kuku syndrome. A certain old man had invested extensively and enyewe, he reaped good returns. So, we all aspired to be like him. He was very mean with information. Everybody began ‘keeping’ hens for commercial use. I was one of them. Many never succeeded in part because we mostly copied what we suspected the old man did. We never had experience on any form of large or medium scale farming.

The only medicine we used for the traditional hens was Aloe Vera. Personally I got a loan of 20k from the local shylock. Bought 70 1 month chicks from Mzee kagego. I built a makeshift structure for them. 2 weeks down the line half were dead or snatched by the marauding eagles. Four months down the line I have 25 Jambas (male hens) and 10 Mweras. I sold the 10 Mweras as awaited the Jambas to add more weight.

Then that day arrived. On a certain weekday, nimeamka and went straight to check my investment. I found one Jamba dead but it was not a concern. I left for work. At around 10 A.M, my cousin who I had written to manage the ‘farm’ calls me and informs me that 5 more Jambas had died. I told him to manage the rest. 2 hours later he informs more had died. Hapa nilitoka mbio hadi home. I ran nonstop for close to one hour. Kufika nikapata zimebaki 7. Tukazifunga ndio tukauze market kabla zikufe zote. Tukarukia bike. But halfway the road chain ikakatika. Mguu niponye sasa but upon inspection, 5 had already died. Zimebaki mbili sasa. Mimi huyo market centre mpaka kwa Caro. We measured their weight since kilo determined the pay. But wapi, hizo mbili zilikufia kwa ratili! Wa Caro accused of wanting to scam her and black listed me forever. That is it. 25 Jambas had died within 10 hours. I never even tasted one ndururu out of them. Shylock ntamutolea pesa wapi sasa.

I went and bought fagi to balance my head. Drunk 2 musokotos and went kwa Onyi to take some tea, but of course ya kukopa. Now, there is something that happened here. When bite the mandazi, it could quickly disappear in my mouth. I could not feel it. Neither could I chew it. But then, nilikuwa naisikia inateremka mbio kwa oesophagus towards the stomack. Still, it could not settle kwa tumbo, ilikuwa inapita naiskia kwa mguu. Kidogo kidogo naiskia kwa mgongo ikipanda kwa kichwa. Najaribu kuscratch but wapi. Ilipofika kwa forehead ikakwama hapo. I tried scratching ndio itoke hapo but wapi. At this time I got tense. I also tried to feel my stomach but it was not there. Mkono ilikuwa inapita tu hivi. Guys I had no option but to start shouting. Siskii tumbo yangu! Mandazi ya Onyi imekwama kwa kichwa pia! Wuuuui wuuuui wuuui, Onyi nitakuwaa leo, mbwa nyinyi. Cups down! Some guys tied me with a rope and took me behind the hotel where they poured buckets of water on me. I slept there for several hours. People later claimed nilichizi after my Jambas died.

Today if somebody tells me to keep jambas, I throw saliva out very quickly. Many other villagers had their hens die. Someone even lost 400 hens in a day. Biashara, hata kama ni gani, it needs some balls

Wa you made me laugh like the late ole ntimama …a loud long hysterical laugh…ungechinja boss uuze nyake

[4makind]

:D:D:D:D

[Parerenyatwa]

@FireOne Euler

Biashara si rahisi as many of us know. At face value, unaonaga everyone else must a fool for not investing in the area you are targeting. But the worst happens if you jump with the wave. Quail business? Ngikomba bale business? Biashara ya kuku? Not many years ago my area was gripped with the biashara ya kuku syndrome. A certain old man had invested extensively and enyewe, he reaped good returns. So, we all aspired to be like him. He was very mean with information. Everybody began ‘keeping’ hens for commercial use. I was one of them. Many never succeeded in part because we mostly copied what we suspected the old man did. We never had experience on any form of large or medium scale farming.

The only medicine we used for the traditional hens was Aloe Vera. Personally I got a loan of 20k from the local shylock. Bought 70 1 month chicks from Mzee kagego. I built a makeshift structure for them. 2 weeks down the line half were dead or snatched by the marauding eagles. Four months down the line I have 25 Jambas (male hens) and 10 Mweras. I sold the 10 Mweras as awaited the Jambas to add more weight.

Then that day arrived. On a certain weekday, nimeamka and went straight to check my investment. I found one Jamba dead but it was not a concern. I left for work. At around 10 A.M, my cousin who I had written to manage the ‘farm’ calls me and informs me that 5 more Jambas had died. I told him to manage the rest. 2 hours later he informs more had died. Hapa nilitoka mbio hadi home. I ran nonstop for close to one hour. Kufika nikapata zimebaki 7. Tukazifunga ndio tukauze market kabla zikufe zote. Tukarukia bike. But halfway the road chain ikakatika. Mguu niponye sasa but upon inspection, 5 had already died. Zimebaki mbili sasa. Mimi huyo market centre mpaka kwa Caro. We measured their weight since kilo determined the pay. But wapi, hizo mbili zilikufia kwa ratili! Wa Caro accused of wanting to scam her and black listed me forever. That is it. 25 Jambas had died within 10 hours. I never even tasted one ndururu out of them. Shylock ntamutolea pesa wapi sasa.

I went and bought fagi to balance my head. Drunk 2 musokotos and went kwa Onyi to take some tea, but of course ya kukopa. Now, there is something that happened here. When bite the mandazi, it could quickly disappear in my mouth. I could not feel it. Neither could I chew it. But then, nilikuwa naisikia inateremka mbio kwa oesophagus towards the stomack. Still, it could not settle kwa tumbo, ilikuwa inapita naiskia kwa mguu. Kidogo kidogo naiskia kwa mgongo ikipanda kwa kichwa. Najaribu kuscratch but wapi. Ilipofika kwa forehead ikakwama hapo. I tried scratching ndio itoke hapo but wapi. At this time I got tense. I also tried to feel my stomach but it was not there. Mkono ilikuwa inapita tu hivi. Guys I had no option but to start shouting. Siskii tumbo yangu! Mandazi ya Onyi imekwama kwa kichwa pia! Wuuuui wuuuui wuuui, Onyi nitakuwaa leo, mbwa nyinyi. Cups down! Some guys tied me with a rope and took me behind the hotel where they poured buckets of water on me. I slept there for several hours. People later claimed nilichizi after my Jambas died.

Today if somebody tells me to keep jambas, I throw saliva out very quickly. Many other villagers had their hens die. Someone even lost 400 hens in a day. Biashara, hata kama ni gani, it needs some balls

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[chriskiil]

Hii ilikuwa fangi,halafu your writing style inafanana na ya ole weru ama wanjohi especially hapo kwa throwing saliva out.

[digi]

Poonder wewe, hii nimecheka hadi machos ikatoka :D:D:D:D

[kymnjoro]

o_Oo_Oo_OBiashara, hata kama ni gani, it needs some balls of steel

[Mambombaya]

@FireOne Euler

We measured their weight since kilo determined the pay. But wapi, hizo mbili zilikufia kwa ratili!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[Euler]

@zachary

Wewe ni meffy sana. Umefanya nifurahi kwa bus kama mjinga amekunyua msokoto

Imagine smoking them when the sun is high. I later realised the peddler used to deep them in petrol to ndio zimuwe Kali zaidi

[Benito]

Sasa nacheka kwa ofisi sijulikani na the receptionist ananiangalia like ama bladfu

[mundu_mulosi]

Thanks boss, long since I had a good laugh. Hekaya zote za bangi hua na twist noma.

[Nyarwath]

:D:D:D:D serre

[Euler]

@Nyarwath

:D:D:D:D serre

Chairman Vipi