Bachelors Life

[Afro]

@Deorro

Hehehehe mwingine akakaa kwa floor yeye, mimi nikikaa hapo naye na kuanza kumtoa nguo, ilibidi aseme “Derro si we go to the bed.” apana tambua hata akikaa kwa gas cooker iko on

:D:D

[Dondo]

Nyi naona mkiongea tu success stories, na import ngeus from banana hills hadi ungem.fom ni kuanza eti kushughulikia eti food,sijui ma intro kwa boiz wangu flani.kidogo kidogo food imeiva,ngeus jibonde huku mi nisha kosa courage. Ilibidi kamenitoka

[kijanaa]

aibu ndogo ndogo acha

[incognitus]

@Abba

my yesteryears, i used to have my own simba. it had a 6inch by 6 inch square opening kwa hiyo mud thatched house, lets call it window for now. my house was pretty decently furnished for a bachelor who just cleared high school. I had 2 small stools with ofcourse a woolen knit kitambaa on it and a table that my sisters used to bring me food na kuiwekelea on top.

i had this attraction to short haired village girls. i would go tune them as far as 6km away from my simba. nothing would turn me on than to see a village girl wearing bata slippers with well oiled legs smeared with vumbi gotten from impact ya slippers na that dusty road . Also a cute smell ya ka-jasho fulani from their makwapa was a plus for me . So if i knew a mndito was coming, all the stools and meza would go underneath my bed. That was my strategy. So when she walks in, i would sit at the far edge of the bed making her feel comfortable since she is closer to the door(mind game)

So ningemauka telling her that i want to go buy Fanta na Sconse/maandazi. Of course she would excuse me nipite . When i come back with the bait, i would make her move away from the door so that i serve the meal…big mistake . Since i have retaken her position of being close to the door ningefunga kwa upesi and the rest of conjugation follows . This strategy worked well for me. They actually liked my mind game plan so much to a point that they kept coming back for rematches . Some had the audacity of telling me to replay exactly how i mind played them when we first met.

You are very very lucky my fren. Mimi na bro tulijengewa a 3 roomed house. Common sitting room na kila mtu bedroom yake. I would try all tricks from telling a friend to come knock ili dame ajifiche bedroom or telling her I have some photos but haziwezi toka bedroom. But the moment she got inside, a mini earthquake was guaranteed. Sometimes I miss my youth.

[Abba]

@incognitus

You are very very lucky my fren. Mimi na bro tulijengewa a 3 roomed house. Common sitting room na kila mtu bedroom yake. I would try all tricks from telling a friend to come knock ili dame ajifiche bedroom or telling her I have some photos but haziwezi toka bedroom. But the moment she got inside, a mini earthquake was guaranteed. Sometimes I miss my youth.

:D:D I don’t know how boys this days have fun when they reach 24 yrs and are still in parents house. Sad isn’t it

[incognitus]

@Abba

:D:D I don’t know how boys this days have fun when they reach 24 yrs and are still in parents house. Sad isn’t it

Very sad. Imagine a full grown ass man calling her mum not to close the door ati he is running late. How will you even reach threshold? Mimi kijana wangu akitahiri atakaa mbali sana na sisi.

[Abba]

@incognitus

Very sad. Imagine a full grown ass man calling her mum not to close the door ati he is running late. How will you even reach threshold? Mimi kijana wangu akitahiri atakaa mbali sana na sisi.

Hey btw ile something ya cashew sijasahu. Be ready mid next month. Will hit your inbox

[incognitus]

@Abba

Hey btw ile something ya cashew sijasahu. Be ready mid next month. Will hit your inbox

Sande sana in advance.

[system]

@incognitus

Very sad. Imagine a full grown ass man calling her mum not to close the door ati he is running late. How will you even reach threshold? Mimi kijana wangu akitahiri atakaa mbali sana na sisi.

@incognitus crush…I normally don’t call out people on grammer as I murder it tena sana but pls how can a grown man call HER Mum:eek:??? Chungulia my bank statement this w\e. End of the F\Y is here and I am having serious migranes already. I have been patient waaay too patient.

[iano]

@Mrs Shosho

I normally don’t call out people on grammer

did you mean “grammar”? :oops::oops:

[iano]

@Abba

:D:D I don’t know how boys this days have fun when they reach 24 yrs and are still in parents house. Sad isn’t it

What is the ideal age for a man to leave his parents’ house?

[Abba]

@iano

What is the ideal age for a man to leave his parents’ house?

Immediately after circumcision. Keep it this way , the moment you start having wet dreams then know it’s time to hit the road . Roughly 13- 15 yrs.

[incognitus]

@Mrs Shosho

@incognitus crush…I normally don’t call out people on grammer as I murder it tena sana but pls how can a grown man call HER Mum:eek:??? Chungulia my bank statement this w\e. End of the F\Y is here and I am having serious migranes already. I have been patient waaay too patient.

:D:D:D:D:D samehea mimi. Si unajua ile pande ya .ke nimetoka…hehe.sikiza huyu as you send the bank details

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kka1a_j3dmg

[system]

Asante sana(pls put Uhuru’s accent here when he is addressing the nation). Huyu ni boy wangu sana kutoka Southampton with a silky voice. Narudisha mkono with this ‘teaser’ while I put all the bills together. Tembea all over Kenya na 1a and b. Lakini mimi 1c nataka we invest YOUR cash in MY name:D. I am dying when I think about where you come from:D:D:Dhiyo imenimaliza.

xxx 1c is (Mukafete)hehehehehehehe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5lmb5-tnM0

[incognitus]

@Mrs Shosho

Asante sana(pls put Uhuru’s accent here when he is addressing the nation). Huyu ni boy wangu sana kutoka Southampton with a silky voice. Narudisha mkono with this ‘teaser’ while I put all the bills together. Tembea all over Kenya na 1a and b. Lakini mimi 1c nataka we invest YOUR cash in MY name:D. I am dying when I think about where you come from:D:D:Dhiyo imenimaliza.

xxx 1c is (Mukafete)hehehehehehehe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5lmb5-tnM0

Hehe…back when music was music. Napenda sana. Mukafete wa diaspora I can handle. Hawa locals ndio fire to bask from far. Because you are my favourite I will take you to Wakanda.