Diary of a homebody.

[ntash]

Exactly. It demands patience.

[gashwin]

@Carbon

if i remember correctly those men whose has a little uhii left hold farting competition in pubs when drunk

you sure keep 'interesting" company…

[system]

@ntash

Exactly. It demands patience.

Can you be my fartmate?

[Gathuria_Muhu]

@Unicorn

[ATTACH=full]23298[/ATTACH]
This?

@ntash

Exactly. It demands patience.

@Unicorn

Can you be my fartmate?

nyinyi sasa dio munajua kutogozana na minyabo.zagu hua zinakobasti kidani harafu zinatoka na muhu yani ases.di hiyo pisa yenu.

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[MISCHIEF]

@Gathuria Muhu

nyinyi sasa dio munajua kutogozana na minyabo.zagu hua zinakobasti kidani harafu zinatoka na muhu yani ases.di hiyo pisa yenu.

[ATTACH=full]23300[/ATTACH]

This just made my day:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[kawambui]

@gashwin

you sure keep 'interesting" company…

i aint a snob like you.
i have to hovels even the govt doesnt know exist.
my majengo upbringing helps me alot to feel at home

[ntash]

@Unicorn

Can you be my fartmate?

:)

[FieldMarshal_CouchP]

@Unicorn, this is brilliant, simply brilliant writing. You’ve taken a mundane issue and through sheer genius weaved it into a narrative that is very captivating.

You need to post more.

Now come we ferk, OK?

[Fala_12]

I love kittens too

[kijanamrefu]

Unicorn do you dance?

[wheelz]

I thought you had a son? Ulimwamsha while screaming?

[system]

@FieldMarshal CouchP

@Unicorn, th
Now come we ferk, OK?

Let’s nduthis grandpa:).

@kijanamrefu

Unicorn do you dance?

yes. They say i’m a crappy dancer though:D:D

@wheelz

I thought you had a son? Ulimwamsha while screaming?

Yeah i have a son. He was having a sleepover at my man’s place.

[Freestyle]

Meet a woman first date second third no fart, more time=farts gradual increase then fart fart fart. Still wonder what will be the ultimate thing will happen at the rate

[Slartibartfast]

@Freestyle

Meet a woman first date second third no fart, more time=farts gradual increase then fart fart fart. Still wonder what will be the ultimate thing will happen at the rate

Bakisha skidmarks za @Nananimpa.

[Ka-Buda]

@Unicorn

Nothing makes me more satisfied than staying indoors in my pyjamas with a good book or just being a couch potato watching TV while enjoying a huge tub of ice cream. I have friends, not the ones on Netflix but real actual friends…well just two but it’s better than nothing. They had somehow managed to convince me to go to a night club last night and even though I was a bit sceptical, I felt it wasn’t really a bad idea. I haven’t been to a night club for a long time but the few times I’ve been, something irksome always happened. Either a drunk person wants to grab me and I wanna punch them, I spot a guy I have had a fling with or they try to over charge for some average drink but hey!, I had watched a movie a night before, and they had a nightclub scene, they had a tiny bit of human interaction and it felt mentally healthy and it appeared to be fun. I was therefore determined to make the best out of the night.

At around lunchtime I was asking myself why the day is moving so slow, so picked an outfit for the night, logged into ktalk to check if I could insult someone…such a loser!. Well, I wasn’t lucky so I figure out I might take a power nap. So much for a power nap; I woke up feeling really tired; I didn’t really take a nap, I actually slept deeply.

By the time i woke up, it was evening already, too tired and I didn’t feel like going out anymore. I call up my friends hoping they would cancel the night’s event. Well, they were all super excited about the night and it seemed like there was no turning back. Oh well. By then, i should have been getting ready but I thought that I still had time for a little TV. OH, Holy Ferking Oprah, my favourite Chinese dating show was on, I had to watch it!. The commercial break…Perfect! . I thought of rushing in the bathroom for a quick shower, just washing the minimum amount necessary to make me feel clean BUT WAIT! There was this lovely animal shelter commercial, with lovely music and lovely kittens and lovely puppies. I love kittens. I couldn’t leave, could i?. As soon as the lovely commercial was done, I google more information about the shelter, who knows, I might get myself a little lovely thing for Christmas. Strangely enough, I found myself on YouTube, I should have been getting ready but YouTube just recommended another four minute related video. I had to watch it… until my friend called and i was forced to pause the video. I lied that i was almost done. Rushed to the bathroom and had that cheap, express drive through car wash kinda shower.

I tell you what, miracles do actually happen because immediately after the shower, i didn’t feel tired anymore, i felt alive. At around 10pm, we get to our destination as soon as I sat down and scanned the place, I immediately feel like I should be home because that’s where I belong. What to do?. Just go with the flow, chit chatting , some laughter…Yeah, that was fun. At around 1.45pm, I tell myself that I’ll just finish my drink since the club will close in 15 minutes. I was absolutely tired. The loud music, all those smartly dressed people walking, dancing and shouting everywhere; it was not like how they showed it on that movie scene. All I wanted was just go home and feel the softness of my bed and hypnotize myself to sleep. I checked the time and it was actually 11.20pm. I had actually been in there for less than two hours and already had enough. I just couldn’t. That wasn’t for me. I had to take a taxi and go home, where I belong. I get home, open my door, kick off my shoes, get out of that tight outfit; releasing all the farts I’ve been holding, put on my pyjamas, lie on the couch, turn on my TV and I let out a victorious scream “THIS IS MY MOMENT”.

Weka mbisha za Pussy or you are making things up!

I feel you though. I get zero enjoyment from being in a Nightclub these days.
I get in and i look at the people and i just SMFH . LQTM,and i will be thinking… I have Done All these before… i need to go home.

Inaitwa kuzeeka.

[Mzee_mzima]

@Algernon.

The worst is when you just want to be at home alafu a friend calls anakuuliza unafanya nini then ukimwambia hamna anaanza kukutolea mipango. You know their intentions are good lakini you wish they could understand sometimes you just want to do “nothing”.

Yo! S’sup with you today? You’re unusually soft today?? From this ^^ to the other thread of the drunk guy and wife shenanigans, opening up about your brother’s condition… We need to know, s’sup?

[Slartibartfast]

@Mzee mzima

Yo! S’sup with you today? You’re unusually soft today?? From this ^^ to the other thread of the drunk guy and wife shenanigans, opening up about your brother’s condition… We need to know, s’sup?

Nothing, man. It just feels like a good day. It is not unusual, people just ignore all my posts except the “bad ones”.

[Nananimpa]

@Algernon.

Bakisha skidmarks za @Nananimpa.

Walking away admiring the blue skys n not giving a damn!!

[Father_Figure]

@Ka-Buda

LQTM

Hii ndio kusema nini?

[TopCat]

@Unicorn

Brown mother’s union

Party pooper :(