Forty days za Hustler

stealthquest · November 30, 2016, 8:34am

Hekaya swafi… @introvert hapa sketch lazima:D:D:D

system · November 30, 2016, 8:49am

Hii ni noma saidi tena sana.

system · November 30, 2016, 9:08am

:D:D:D:D:D

dead

system · November 30, 2016, 9:55am

I can’t :D:D:D:D wah noma sana

WuTang · November 30, 2016, 9:59am

:D:D:D:D:D
Bangi sio managu kiyana.

kingolonde · November 30, 2016, 10:01am

Kigame:

Sikulangi nyama. Be it red meat, white meat or multi coloured kama combat ya jeshi. Reason why? Let me take you a few years back. Nilikuwa naishi Naivas by then. Hustler wa kawaida, in that lakeside estate inaitwa Kihoto. Kwa Mukorino mwisho. Living in a single room mabati apartment posh enough to have a cemented floor.
Nikisema hustler I mean hustler or rather venye Mbusii husema, Sufferer. But kuna watu waliokolea life yangu sana kama Mama Njoki. Huyu mathe alikuwanga na Villa Rosa Kempiski fulani karibu hapo stage, offering all types of meals. Kwa mama Njoki ungepata hata pizza ukitaka. Tuache hizo kwanza.
Back to the main story. Nilikuwa Life member kwa mama Njoki, meaning its the place I took all my meals. Hata nilikuwa na shopping card ya huko. Ningekula hata bila cent coz I was trusted. Kiaje? We used to supply the place with assorted foodstuffs. From zile managu za kumea kwa sewage hadi nyama zimegongwa na gari, plus kuku zime die na shock kwa farms. Na hapo ndio story yangu inakuleta. Aa aa…kitanzi sasa!
It was one morning nikienda hustle ndio shetani aliamua kunipatia escort. Nimetoka kejani ngware, kubahatisha. I was on a two wheeled, cycling chopper, ye beshte yangu fulani wa kutoka Pungoma. Ndio huyo mimi direct hadi Villa Rosa. " katakata masikio ng’ombe na uweke stew". (Sorry nimetumia scientific name.It means maandazi mwitu, made from ngano ya kusiaga kwa local posho mill). Too bad supplier wa nyama alichelewa. Ikabidi nimekula ma capsules aka madondo.
Nilichangamkia breko yangu fashta fashta na kudandia chopper. Ndio huyo mimi, morale iko 10th floor. From the way I was cycling ungefeel the power of Mama Njoki. Kutoka town nikashika hii road ya Mai mahiu. Just before kwa Fai Amario na Factory yake ya Medusa moto moto, nikashika south lake road towards Oserian. A few metres ahead nikaona black and white stripes. Ki zebra kimenyoroka kando ya road. Nikasema Lords prayer na the grace combined.
Nili park, chopper nikashuka kucheki mzoga. Still oozing warm blood. Nikascan area iko clear. I was still thinking on what to do, when I saw Jakofu. He lived karibu hapo akichunga kondoo za Mzungu. Mzae wa miaka kama yote. When I whistled to alert him, ni kama alijua whats up coz alikam na njora.
We moved and prepared the mboga na nikapata gunia ya kubebea. Leo kwa Mama Njoki kutanukia. Hapa siezi kosa sow kadhaa. Siku imejipa. Jakofu helped me to load my luggage kwa bike na nikaondoka. Kumbe shetani ni passenger number one na sina copy.
Landcruiser ya KWS ikapiga horn. Kushtuka eti nicheki nyuma juu sikuwa na side mirror nikaskia nyahunyo inaland kwa mgongo yangu. I lost controll na juu luggage ni heavy, nikadunda. Nikaskia from the cruiser, “leta huyo poacher hapa”. Brother, sista mpenzi msomaji nilitembelewa ma nyahunyo 30 seconds nikaparara. Jamaa wakaniuliza “Kijana mbona unaua rasilmali”?. Nikajibu “ni njaa”. Makosa.
Jamaa wakaniuliza naeza kula nyama how many kgs and without knowing I answered “five”. Nikapewa dagger nikaambiwa nikate ile nzuri ya mafuta. All this time sina habari what, awaits me. Nikachonga steak ya mafuta saa sawa. Kama kilo tano hivi.
Nikidhani ni take away, jama akatoa ile rifle ya mbao, akachapa risasi kwa hewa na kuniwekea the hot muzzle kwa masikio. Nikanyamba kwanza. “Kijana tumekupatia 5 minutes ukule hiyo nyama ama ukufe!”. Ndugu zanguni, dada zanguni na nguni wengine wote, nilisiaga nyama kama ile ka kitu ya kuzungusha (sijui ndio meat mincer). I didnt know venye niliimaliza and uncountable nyahunyos escorted me as I ran for my dear life. Nikaskia risasi imepita kando ya masikio. Bike ya Wepukhulu ikabaki imeshikwa kama exhibit. Kufika kwa gate ya ploti nika feel dizzy. Wacha nianze kutapika! Nilitapika zebra mbili full zikiwa na ngozi, I dont know how. That was my last day with meat. By the way naskia mama Njoki aliolewa na msee wa KWS.

:D:D:D:D:DSalute, and salute again. Hekaya safi and very hillarious

MISCHIEF · November 30, 2016, 10:07am

:D:DYu killed it kijana…sisomagi hekaya lakin ji imenimada

mayekeke · November 30, 2016, 10:13am

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

uwesmake · November 30, 2016, 10:45am

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

KWS ni fiam niliona documentary ingine village iko karibu na forrest wanakujia watu usiku na anapotea kapsaaa

system · November 30, 2016, 11:02am

Kigame:

Sikulangi nyama. Be it red meat, white meat or multi coloured kama combat ya jeshi. Reason why? Let me take you a few years back. Nilikuwa naishi Naivas by then. Hustler wa kawaida, in that lakeside estate inaitwa Kihoto. Kwa Mukorino mwisho. Living in a single room mabati apartment posh enough to have a cemented floor.
Nikisema hustler I mean hustler or rather venye Mbusii husema, Sufferer. But kuna watu waliokolea life yangu sana kama Mama Njoki. Huyu mathe alikuwanga na Villa Rosa Kempiski fulani karibu hapo stage, offering all types of meals. Kwa mama Njoki ungepata hata pizza ukitaka. Tuache hizo kwanza.
Back to the main story. Nilikuwa Life member kwa mama Njoki, meaning its the place I took all my meals. Hata nilikuwa na shopping card ya huko. Ningekula hata bila cent coz I was trusted. Kiaje? We used to supply the place with assorted foodstuffs. From zile managu za kumea kwa sewage hadi nyama zimegongwa na gari, plus kuku zime die na shock kwa farms. Na hapo ndio story yangu inakuleta. Aa aa…kitanzi sasa!
It was one morning nikienda hustle ndio shetani aliamua kunipatia escort. Nimetoka kejani ngware, kubahatisha. I was on a two wheeled, cycling chopper, ye beshte yangu fulani wa kutoka Pungoma. Ndio huyo mimi direct hadi Villa Rosa. " katakata masikio ng’ombe na uweke stew". (Sorry nimetumia scientific name.It means maandazi mwitu, made from ngano ya kusiaga kwa local posho mill). Too bad supplier wa nyama alichelewa. Ikabidi nimekula ma capsules aka madondo.
Nilichangamkia breko yangu fashta fashta na kudandia chopper. Ndio huyo mimi, morale iko 10th floor. From the way I was cycling ungefeel the power of Mama Njoki. Kutoka town nikashika hii road ya Mai mahiu. Just before kwa Fai Amario na Factory yake ya Medusa moto moto, nikashika south lake road towards Oserian. A few metres ahead nikaona black and white stripes. Ki zebra kimenyoroka kando ya road. Nikasema Lords prayer na the grace combined.
Nili park, chopper nikashuka kucheki mzoga. Still oozing warm blood. Nikascan area iko clear. I was still thinking on what to do, when I saw Jakofu. He lived karibu hapo akichunga kondoo za Mzungu. Mzae wa miaka kama yote. When I whistled to alert him, ni kama alijua whats up coz alikam na njora.
We moved and prepared the mboga na nikapata gunia ya kubebea. Leo kwa Mama Njoki kutanukia. Hapa siezi kosa sow kadhaa. Siku imejipa. Jakofu helped me to load my luggage kwa bike na nikaondoka. Kumbe shetani ni passenger number one na sina copy.
Landcruiser ya KWS ikapiga horn. Kushtuka eti nicheki nyuma juu sikuwa na side mirror nikaskia nyahunyo inaland kwa mgongo yangu. I lost controll na juu luggage ni heavy, nikadunda. Nikaskia from the cruiser, “leta huyo poacher hapa”. Brother, sista mpenzi msomaji nilitembelewa ma nyahunyo 30 seconds nikaparara. Jamaa wakaniuliza “Kijana mbona unaua rasilmali”?. Nikajibu “ni njaa”. Makosa.
Jamaa wakaniuliza naeza kula nyama how many kgs and without knowing I answered “five”. Nikapewa dagger nikaambiwa nikate ile nzuri ya mafuta. All this time sina habari what, awaits me. Nikachonga steak ya mafuta saa sawa. Kama kilo tano hivi.
Nikidhani ni take away, jama akatoa ile rifle ya mbao, akachapa risasi kwa hewa na kuniwekea the hot muzzle kwa masikio. Nikanyamba kwanza. “Kijana tumekupatia 5 minutes ukule hiyo nyama ama ukufe!”. Ndugu zanguni, dada zanguni na nguni wengine wote, nilisiaga nyama kama ile ka kitu ya kuzungusha (sijui ndio meat mincer). I didnt know venye niliimaliza and uncountable nyahunyos escorted me as I ran for my dear life. Nikaskia risasi imepita kando ya masikio. Bike ya Wepukhulu ikabaki imeshikwa kama exhibit. Kufika kwa gate ya ploti nika feel dizzy. Wacha nianze kutapika! Nilitapika zebra mbili full zikiwa na ngozi, I dont know how. That was my last day with meat. By the way naskia mama Njoki aliolewa na msee wa KWS.

:D:D:D The lingo, mara capsules, sijui masikio ya ng’ombe, shetani passenger/escort…:D:D:D Nice story.

Okwonkwo · November 30, 2016, 11:31am

Kigame:

Landcruiser ya KWS ikapiga horn. Kushtuka eti nicheki nyuma juu sikuwa na side mirror nikaskia nyahunyo inaland kwa mgongo yangu. I lost controll na juu luggage ni heavy, nikadunda. Nikaskia from the cruiser, “leta huyo poacher hapa”. Brother, sista mpenzi msomaji nilitembelewa ma nyahunyo 30 seconds nikaparara. Jamaa wakaniuliza “Kijana mbona unaua rasilmali”?. Nikajibu “ni njaa”. Makosa.
Jamaa wakaniuliza naeza kula nyama how many kgs and without knowing I answered “five”. Nikapewa dagger nikaambiwa nikate ile nzuri ya mafuta. All this time sina habari what, awaits me. Nikachonga steak ya mafuta saa sawa. Kama kilo tano hivi.
Nikidhani ni take away, jama akatoa ile rifle ya mbao, akachapa risasi kwa hewa na kuniwekea the hot muzzle kwa masikio. Nikanyamba kwanza. “Kijana tumekupatia 5 minutes ukule hiyo nyama ama ukufe!”. Ndugu zanguni, dada zanguni na nguni wengine wote, nilisiaga nyama kama ile ka kitu ya kuzungusha (sijui ndio meat mincer). I didnt know venye niliimaliza and uncountable nyahunyos escorted me as I ran for my dear life. Nikaskia risasi imepita kando ya masikio. Bike ya Wepukhulu ikabaki imeshikwa kama exhibit. Kufika kwa gate ya ploti nika feel dizzy. Wacha nianze kutapika! Nilitapika zebra mbili full zikiwa na ngozi, I dont know how. That was my last day with meat. By the way naskia mama Njoki aliolewa na msee wa KWS.

:D:D:D:D niokotwe crayfish, Naivasha :D:D:D

blueline · November 30, 2016, 11:33am

:D:D:D:D:D mbavu zinauma

Okwonkwo · November 30, 2016, 11:33am

kwao hiyo ni [SIZE=1]gated community[/SIZE]

ziga · November 30, 2016, 12:52pm

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Hekaya iko timam!.. shukua like, kiyana!

Jefe · November 30, 2016, 12:57pm

hahaha noma sana,hot muzzle kwa masikio… eeh wallahi enyewe ulifaa ushute

klevgit · November 30, 2016, 1:07pm

That hekaya made my day

madova · November 30, 2016, 2:39pm

Swafi sana.nimetii maze,umefikisha threshold ya hekaya.:D:D:D:D

Ebru · November 30, 2016, 2:45pm

Dawa yako ukapewa

LeoK · November 30, 2016, 2:46pm

Zebra dry fry.

biraru · November 30, 2016, 3:02pm

:D:D:D:D:D