It was one of those usual weekends juzi tu, zile huanza vpoa and you cannot tell what is in store for you. So mimi huyo nkachota kisokorokwinyo tuende kudunda kiasi. Destination … check, mfuko … check.
I had to get a nice place ya kujivinjari where kama kawaida, I could check and confirm if this lightskin was real ama ni uzito wa makeup ndo inafanya akuwe msupa hivo and where best to do that than in a swimming pool. So kwanza tukashiba poa pale poolside restaurant then tukaingia changing room in preparation ya kuduf. And now that I finally learnt how to float kwa maji, I decided to showcase my newly acquired skills though limited to the shallow end. What a good swimmer she was. All the same I confirmed hakuwa yerro yerro waiganjoh.
After having fun and enough to drink, it was time to leave, homebound for the second and most important part of the evening, si lazima niiseme hapa.
You can tell a good day from how the morning begins and I knew mine would be fantastic, so many signs I could not ignore. Anyways tukatoka kuelekea home with the evening fully engaged.
From town outbound via uhuru highway nkapata jam just before nyayo stadium and the bunyala road roundabout. Kumbe NTSA walikuwa area. Too late to engage a different game plan. I knew I was drunk as per the NTSA standards and wouldn’t have passed the alcoblow test, so a quick thought came to me at the right time. Nkaweka ndai kando ya road and set the hazard lights. Next nkafungua bonnet and got busy sorting out an imaginary issue.
Siku.brief dem what I was upto and so after back and forth kiasi from ndani ya gari to the bonnet akaanza zile maswali zao za kifala which I totally ignored. I was too engrossed in my ‘mechanics’ to notice mujamaa na safety vest yake ya luminous akikam. Nlishtukia tu alipouliza if I had a problem nkamshow ni mechanical issue, though in real sense I was working out a way to dodge them. Akauliza nani dereva nkajitupa nkasema ni mimi. Kumbe ameskia harufu ya acoho. Akaniambia watanisaidia kucheki noma but first lazima nipass alcoblow test juu sifai ku drive nkiwa maji.
Kama bado nimezuba akaenda kuulizia kule tumetoka dem akasema ukweli. Hapo ilibidii niwaachie kitu kiasi after kuwa promise ‘wife’ ndo atadrive sahio hata hajui kiti ya dere hukaliwa aje. Hapo nkapenya.
Not long after tukafika mtaani but drama was not yet done. Just as I was about to make the last turn home, this fuacked up driver overtakes me and suddenly brakes hard and before I could say fcuk … I was already kwa rear bumper yake. Wakatoka maboy watatu, nkingonja maswali nkaskia the driver akiniambia nisongee kwa passenger seat anataka kudrive. Nikaongea mbaya juu ya zile chocha si hukuwa nazo ukiwa na manzi, hapo nkaonyeshwa the famous mguu ya kuku nikatii. Hehe vile nlitoboa kusonga hio side bila kushuka na tukatoshea na huyo dem kwa the passenger seat bado siwezi kuelezea all I know is that nlitoshea.
Wakachomoka na sisi wakaacha gari yao. Tulizungushwa tukapelekwa ma area zingine huko sides za mlolongo wakakamua macash zote kwa mpesa yangu plus zile nlikuwa nazo mbosho. Iphone galaxy yangu pia ikaenda and I was just lucky sikuwa nmebeba atm otherwise ningelilia kwa bafu. Dem alinilet down na kale ka samsung duos kadogo kamechoka which made the thugs infuriated. One had the time ya kunikejeli ati mi ni mbuda mzima lakini siwezi nunulia wife simu ya maana.
Siku yangu ya kuitwa na baba haikuwa imefika and was relieved when they blocked an advancing car and took control of it. Wakatuacha hapo kando bila car kiss. After hao kupotelea, with my limited u.car.wire I managed kugurumisha nduthi …oops … ndai, kwanza nkafika karao kuripoti ambapo they werent of much help.
Tukafika mtaani kwa mara ya pili na kisokorokwinyo in tow. While nkitoka kwa ndai nkacheki wallet which was not mine hapo down kwa mat. Kucheki ndani napata id cards ka kumi hivi, atm cards kadhaa and 35k pesa taslim zimepangwa ndani vizuri sana. Nikama hio jangili ilidrop walenje ikitoka kwa mbathi.
Sema kupigwa na thitima. Walinichota 10k kwa mpesa plus kitu 4k cash but I was now 35k richer save for my phone. What a consolation. Hizo id na atm cards niliziweka kwa stage ya mathree kesho yake hoping zita reunite na wenyewe with time.
Hio night after that ordeal I could not make the threshold though nlijaribu.
