How I made hay while the sun shone

gashwin · November 21, 2016, 7:10am

chill kwanza:D:D:D:D:Dalilia sana juu ya kabambe…

The.Black.Templar · November 21, 2016, 8:13am

Ilimalizwa?

upepo · November 21, 2016, 10:54am

Poa sana boss ya muhindi.

Doc_Oga · November 21, 2016, 11:25am

Jay Shree

pipita · November 21, 2016, 11:55am

Wacha nimalize hekaya hapa for all those who were patient enough.
so after kumdirect kwangu nkaharakisha keja, juu nina mgeni maalum. future wife to be if indeed her dreams were valid. on getting to my humble abode which I had christened Emirates due to my coitus exploits nkafanya usafi in a record 10 minutes kila kitu iko fyam. sasa ni kungojea tu away team ifike tucheza fainali halafu kesi ya kuolewa we shall cross the bridge when we get there. Hyo siku I was more broke juu semester ilikua imelala but mshwari saved me the embarrassment of kupikia future mama watoto ugali sukuma day one. Since i feared major losses more so za mshwari, I called her to enquire if she was indeed coming, to which she responded “Sweetheart nkifunga tu na drop” once again mseedes ikanipea quadrijoint salute in anticipation.Nka fika the nearby market centre nka buy fried tilapia na veges nka prepare supper. By kitu 7:45 sharp, all set. sasa ni visiting team tunategea. 8pm bado hajatokea. I called again, she confirmed she closes business by 8:30pm. nkajizubaisha kwa 14" Aucma yangu na news but saa hyo hata siskii churchill raw courtesy of my dry spell. ikafika hapo 8:45pm nkajua hapa probability ya hii fainali sasa ni 70%. I called again, simu haishikwi. nka anza kusikia mkwapa imekua sticky sasa. after a record 7 calls unanswered I finally threw in the towel najua hapa sasa probability ya fainali ni 50%.
So nka amua kurudi place yake ya job maybe amebambwa na makarau akikam atleast I buy her freedom with my remaining 200. By the time nafika huko ni kitu 9:30pm hvi, kulishafungwa. nkakubali chenga roho safi juu kucheswa ni kawaida. kiasi hvi, nkacheki land cruiser ya akina @pamba inapita then naflashiwa flash lights followed by a curt command “kijana simama”. One thing I had learned painfully from my campus rioting days is the police are never your friends. Hio siku we were ordered to stop, all seniors students vanished, me ka mtoto mzuri nmeishi kujua utumishi kwa wote is their policy so no way mtumishi atapiga master. I was dead wrong!! ile vita nlionwa na battons then to add salt to injury a lady police pressed my balls nka scream yangu yote with a stream of tears. nka uliza uko which academic year, nka sema first year, wakacheka wakaniacha nkaenda straight keja. it was so humiliating juu the next week all over campus people had that video of my screams courtesy of police brutality.
So back to the original story, me kusikia simama, nkasema Heri risasi lakini makende tena hapana. who wants to live childless juu ya mtu hajui human rights. nkainama ka nme sprint yangu yote. nyuma naskia heavy footsteps approaching. nkakimbia hadi stage ya pikipiki kudandia motor bike ka tumetoka hadi kwangu. mchana hyo distance huwa 50 but msee wa pikipiki akanicharge 150 juu amenihepesha makarau. Hata appetite ya kula sikua nayo that night, nkapanda bed ka nmelala. kitu 3am after adrenaline nliamshwa na njaa moja imekam na ancestors ikabidi nikule sembe baridi na fish nusu halafu nkalala hadi 7am next day.
The next day was a Friday, kitu 10am hvi the Kao lady called, she was aki pole budah alinikamia job but naplan kuja na vitu kwako. nkaona hapa ni kama nimefainiwa for not honouring a final match so had to be swift with my thought process or blatantly refuse. On second thoughts, najua nki kataa chance itanipita ya kuredeem lost glory. Sa nka mu uliza place ako, akadai job, nkamshow ukitoka tu job we drop vitu zako tutaendea sato. After the previous day’s predicament nlijua probability ya kuhonour fainali ni 30%. Sa nlikua tu ka movie
Kitu 8pm my phone rings, kuangalia it’s her. she tells nimwendee from 300 metres from my house. saa hyo hata supper nlikula 7am kwa Villarosa kibandasky. Nkasema mwanaume ni effort, nkamwendea. after hug nkacheki amekam na nyama, atleast nta enjoy an added advantage which to me was a luxury. Akapika, tukakula then threshold nkafikisha. Sa kesho yake, tumeamka kitu 6am she asks me “vitu zangu tunaendea saa ngapi?” nkajifanya sijaskia, then akarudia swali. nka mu uliza “vitu gani?” akasema za nyumba, ndo tuanze maisha. My former girlfriend had left her shoes at my place as a way of territory marking. so nkamshow “my wife alinishow anakam Leo so itabidi uchangamke” She almost went beserk, akaniuliza si uliniambia utanioa? nkamshow labda nlikua nmelewa juu sikumbuki. Tukavutana for kitu 10 minutes saa hio me strategy ni 3D tu, deny deny deny. sa juu lazma afike job ikabidi amejitoa. nkamzindikiza hadi kwa stage ya motorbike. all along the way nlikua najaribu kumpea 200 ka fare yake anakataa. The 200 nlikua nmetumiwa fare ya 1k kurudi home juu semester imeisha. kufika kwa stage nkagotea msee wa motorbike na kumpea 100 then nkamshow mpelekee mahali anataka ka nmejitoa juu najua kwao ama job fare ni 50. after nme enda hadi nmepiga last corner to my crib ndo naskia pikipiki inawashwa nkacheka. A sinister sacarstic laugh to remind me of all the misery faced in pursuit of her pussy. Kufika keja napata a lady neighbour who was also a student anakufa kicheko. kumbe all along amekua anaskiza drama kwa nyumba. Next day nliamka asubuhi and made the journey back home nirudi 3rd year when learning resumes.

Jimit · November 22, 2016, 7:29am

I second this, Willy Paul’s Sitolia’s days was yesterday, when we were still virgins, hekaya for another year

duskidauni · November 23, 2016, 11:11am

Kali.

pipita · November 24, 2016, 7:51pm

you and shairman are baseless grumblers. bure kabisa.

grandpa · December 7, 2016, 9:26am

:D:D

Maxwel · January 9, 2017, 9:51pm

pipita:

Wacha nimalize hekaya hapa for all those who were patient enough.
so after kumdirect kwangu nkaharakisha keja, juu nina mgeni maalum. future wife to be if indeed her dreams were valid. on getting to my humble abode which I had christened Emirates due to my coitus exploits nkafanya usafi in a record 10 minutes kila kitu iko fyam. sasa ni kungojea tu away team ifike tucheza fainali halafu kesi ya kuolewa we shall cross the bridge when we get there. Hyo siku I was more broke juu semester ilikua imelala but mshwari saved me the embarrassment of kupikia future mama watoto ugali sukuma day one. Since i feared major losses more so za mshwari, I called her to enquire if she was indeed coming, to which she responded “Sweetheart nkifunga tu na drop” once again mseedes ikanipea quadrijoint salute in anticipation.Nka fika the nearby market centre nka buy fried tilapia na veges nka prepare supper. By kitu 7:45 sharp, all set. sasa ni visiting team tunategea. 8pm bado hajatokea. I called again, she confirmed she closes business by 8:30pm. nkajizubaisha kwa 14" Aucma yangu na news but saa hyo hata siskii churchill raw courtesy of my dry spell. ikafika hapo 8:45pm nkajua hapa probability ya hii fainali sasa ni 70%. I called again, simu haishikwi. nka anza kusikia mkwapa imekua sticky sasa. after a record 7 calls unanswered I finally threw in the towel najua hapa sasa probability ya fainali ni 50%.
So nka amua kurudi place yake ya job maybe amebambwa na makarau akikam atleast I buy her freedom with my remaining 200. By the time nafika huko ni kitu 9:30pm hvi, kulishafungwa. nkakubali chenga roho safi juu kucheswa ni kawaida. kiasi hvi, nkacheki land cruiser ya akina @pamba inapita then naflashiwa flash lights followed by a curt command “kijana simama”. One thing I had learned painfully from my campus rioting days is the police are never your friends. Hio siku we were ordered to stop, all seniors students vanished, me ka mtoto mzuri nmeishi kujua utumishi kwa wote is their policy so no way mtumishi atapiga master. I was dead wrong!! ile vita nlionwa na battons then to add salt to injury a lady police pressed my balls nka scream yangu yote with a stream of tears. nka uliza uko which academic year, nka sema first year, wakacheka wakaniacha nkaenda straight keja. it was so humiliating juu the next week all over campus people had that video of my screams courtesy of police brutality.
So back to the original story, me kusikia simama, nkasema Heri risasi lakini makende tena hapana. who wants to live childless juu ya mtu hajui human rights. nkainama ka nme sprint yangu yote. nyuma naskia heavy footsteps approaching. nkakimbia hadi stage ya pikipiki kudandia motor bike ka tumetoka hadi kwangu. mchana hyo distance huwa 50 but msee wa pikipiki akanicharge 150 juu amenihepesha makarau. Hata appetite ya kula sikua nayo that night, nkapanda bed ka nmelala. kitu 3am after adrenaline nliamshwa na njaa moja imekam na ancestors ikabidi nikule sembe baridi na fish nusu halafu nkalala hadi 7am next day.
The next day was a Friday, kitu 10am hvi the Kao lady called, she was aki pole budah alinikamia job but naplan kuja na vitu kwako. nkaona hapa ni kama nimefainiwa for not honouring a final match so had to be swift with my thought process or blatantly refuse. On second thoughts, najua nki kataa chance itanipita ya kuredeem lost glory. Sa nka mu uliza place ako, akadai job, nkamshow ukitoka tu job we drop vitu zako tutaendea sato. After the previous day’s predicament nlijua probability ya kuhonour fainali ni 30%. Sa nlikua tu ka movie
Kitu 8pm my phone rings, kuangalia it’s her. she tells nimwendee from 300 metres from my house. saa hyo hata supper nlikula 7am kwa Villarosa kibandasky. Nkasema mwanaume ni effort, nkamwendea. after hug nkacheki amekam na nyama, atleast nta enjoy an added advantage which to me was a luxury. Akapika, tukakula then threshold nkafikisha. Sa kesho yake, tumeamka kitu 6am she asks me “vitu zangu tunaendea saa ngapi?” nkajifanya sijaskia, then akarudia swali. nka mu uliza “vitu gani?” akasema za nyumba, ndo tuanze maisha. My former girlfriend had left her shoes at my place as a way of territory marking. so nkamshow “my wife alinishow anakam Leo so itabidi uchangamke” She almost went beserk, akaniuliza si uliniambia utanioa? nkamshow labda nlikua nmelewa juu sikumbuki. Tukavutana for kitu 10 minutes saa hio me strategy ni 3D tu, deny deny deny. sa juu lazma afike job ikabidi amejitoa. nkamzindikiza hadi kwa stage ya motorbike. all along the way nlikua najaribu kumpea 200 ka fare yake anakataa. The 200 nlikua nmetumiwa fare ya 1k kurudi home juu semester imeisha. kufika kwa stage nkagotea msee wa motorbike na kumpea 100 then nkamshow mpelekee mahali anataka ka nmejitoa juu najua kwao ama job fare ni 50. after nme enda hadi nmepiga last corner to my crib ndo naskia pikipiki inawashwa nkacheka. A sinister sacarstic laugh to remind me of all the misery faced in pursuit of her pu**y. Kufika keja napata a lady neighbour who was also a student anakufa kicheko. kumbe all along amekua anaskiza drama kwa nyumba. Next day nliamka asubuhi and made the journey back home nirudi 3rd year when learning resumes.

Hahahha