KTalk Tamalisa Mimi.

Randy · December 9, 2018, 7:14am

Matapaka imekataa kunitoka kwa akili ata msee akinisinya kwa site i blurt out matapaka!

oboho · December 9, 2018, 7:15am

Kuosha mecho na kunguru.

Shamsudin · December 9, 2018, 7:31am

Chieth na midget

kush_yule_mnono · December 9, 2018, 7:31am

@MrsD unajua tu vizuri huwezi jigwara pages za bible, so jibu swali ya Tomba yeye

Fala_12 · December 9, 2018, 7:45am

Hizi zinaweza shikilia microphone vissuuri saidi… Shida hio mkono inakaa kukauka

gashwin · December 9, 2018, 7:48am

Hio si kiuliso ni observation:D:D

Meria_Mata · December 9, 2018, 7:51am

ngambwe!!!

dingoo_wa_ingoo · December 9, 2018, 8:10am

No.

Do they wipe…?

Nattydread · December 9, 2018, 8:58am

Onyo: huyu mkiwa bedminton ata fanya starfish (very appropriate coastal metaphor) kama amekunja ngumi. Kichwa nacho amejifisha forbidden ‘juala’ weave isiharibike.

Mrs4thletter · December 9, 2018, 9:13am

:Dkichwa nikikuna weave ,

Awesome · December 9, 2018, 9:43am

Kuosha Macho.

kush_yule_mnono · December 9, 2018, 10:50am

Umesahau kusema, kugwara mucakwe ukipatia Mr4letter bj

Mrs4thletter · December 9, 2018, 12:23pm

Shhhhhh

MarkMarco · December 9, 2018, 12:46pm

Ile nimetumia sana Ni Wadau… Then guys be looking at me like… what’s you sayin:eek::D:D:D… Then niseme washika dau:mad::mad:

chriskiil · December 9, 2018, 1:22pm

wait,why was this guy’s name spared?,it should be changed to ‘omba nayeye’

Energizer · December 9, 2018, 3:15pm

Mtu/kitu ikiniudhi nashtukia nimesema

BRARE FAKEN SIIIET !!

Nostradumbass · December 9, 2018, 3:39pm

Nmezoea kutype coomer na kuambia watu waache upussy.

system · December 9, 2018, 4:42pm

Leo was in the yard mapema sana as there was one delivery ya mariakani to make, kampata the new receptionist kwa ofisi kamsalimia niaje Matina, akakondoa macho juu akaniangalia with a question mark in her eyes akaniuliza nimesema nini? Ngai, acha nistuke after kurealise my mistake, her name was Georgina and in my unconscious mind had christened her Georgina Matina after our village queen and this morning it came out.

Had to think fast ndio maneno isiharibike, I said niaje Nadina, you remind me of my Rwandan girlfriend who left for the Netherlands tukiwa karibu kuoana, “ohh” akatulia, “nipe story yote” akasema. So I spun a story of how alikua afanana na Nadina na kutoka aje hii kampuni been meaning to tell her but had never had the chance, as she gave me the keys to the truck kamuambia “but you much more beautiful than Nadina” akainama akacheka kajua its just a matter of time hii Matina niikamue.

On the way to the parking kakumbuka jana usiku niliita manager wa bar flani Meffi Ghasia Takataka after alikataa XTigi ile kubwa as collateral for bill ya 2300 saa zile tulishtukia eti Mpesa iko chini, its not a bar I frequent and had gone there for a business deal as we watched football na hio noogle ikasema hio ni phone ya 1200 hawes chukua. 001 kumekua kubaya nikienda out usiku siwes beba Samsung yangu, have lost so many phones nikilewa. I ended up leaving my spare tyre. After collecting my tyre nikitoka Mariakani hio bar sitowai kanyanga tena, btw is Mpesa back.

Kaa niwewe ulipea Georgina Makena jina Matina utume paybill baadaye, our Georgina in the office has just texted akisema Drive Safely.

Which ktalk lingo have you ever used and did it get you into trouble?
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Meria mine has been that word ‘Kunguru’ and it is sad that it so happens that I am a woman. Ilinikwamilia kabisa for a while. It so happens that my Kenyan Ngeos don’t really watch fuata footie but they will cook,serve the booze and host etc when games are on and their men are watching eeeer nomaree in one of their houses. Real good vibe.
Now I fuata footie especially my boys kule Stamford Bridge.
So during footie season, their men and I call each on Sato to gossip about the table. Dude says…

…leo sitoki kwa hao niko na crate ya Fosters na mumunya hapa nikingoja Arsenal (most Kenyan dudes are Arsenal fans)
…Me Kunguru ekoo umuthi?
…Dude says atee (quite shocked)o_O then realised I should have named the girl by name since she is a friend of mine anyway…as in Njoki yuko? etc
This happened a few more times mpaka I got a grip on it.

And no none of those are on KTALK. Don’t know what those dudes secretly thought about it.

Jimit · December 10, 2018, 4:39am

Usiseme ata, jana nimetuma mtoto aniletee kitu kwa cuzo, akarudi ati cuzo amekatalia samo. Akaongeza “we niweke movie wachama na huyo meffi” We!! Bado nimeshtuka sana

mkenya_alisi · December 10, 2018, 5:13am

I once called a guy at trafilfic jam chieth maduong. Hii ilifanya my queen aburst with a laughter (she is a Nya Alengo) from Siaya. At night she insisted on knowing who is teaching me luo.