I’ve read the responses now and I cant wrap my head around what the likes of Nefertities are saying. YOU WANT TO TELL ME THERE IS SOMEBODY OUT THERE WHO WANTS TO WIPE YOUR DAD’S SHIT ANY MORE THAN YOU DO? The answer of course is NO! So you dump your poor dad is some home, and the next thing we see is you on TV/Youtube complaining about how caretakers mistreat old people. Just Gugu - there are enough clips.
A man who is 80 probably has than 10 years to live. If you come from a family of four children, you guys can’t contribute 5k each month to take the load off your mum? Again, you are just selfish. Am sorry to judge
Am starting to think you are an airhead, all your brus considered.
A maid/nurse need not be a medical person. Otherwise all mothers who nurse their babies would be doctors, get it stupid?
Secondly, if you take your parent to an old people’s home, will you be ing there to change their nappies? No, somebody else will be doing it (random person?)! So wouldn’t it be better for that somebody to do it where you can exercise some supervision?
Why do you say it is mean? You see it like we are trying to evade responsibility, but far from it. We are just exploring what is best for HIM.
And we aren’t seeking to enroll him to a cheap place. I would gladly spend 30k monthly to see him happy. And I would make it my responsibility to visit daily, something I dont manage currently considering the distance I would have to travel.
And in your opinion, who is best suited to take care of my old guy?
A 10k/month maid+ 70-yr old mum, in the cold kinangop environment, or
A professional in a senior citizens home in the city in the sun, which has immediate access to medics, where my dad has people in similar state to while the day away?
I think we need to get rid of the mentality that such actions are unafrican. Just like someone said regarding mental health.
@FieldMarshal CouchP All of you advocating for keeping aged parents at home have one thing in common. NONE OF YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT QUALITY OF LIFE FOR THEM, THEIR MENTAL STATE OR NUTHIN’!!!
You’re the same niccurs who would rather a child have an abusive father instead of no father. Why is keeping up an appearance more important than considering how your actions affect someone else?
Who says that the measure of love and care given to your parents is restricted to keeping them by your side 24/7? You aren’t even focusing on what they feel, you just keep quoting cash figures and making this all about how much money you need to spend to “pay” them back!
But if I was you, with 30k to spare, I would get my dad some really nice last years, looking after cows with one of his agemates, a nurse/maid to take care of his food and hygiene etc etc
In other news, ya’ll are assuming that employing someone to stay in your house with you to take care of them is somehow better than employing someone to take care of them in a home. The attendant at a home is qualified and your “nurse” at home isn’t. If we just look at it from that angle, the external home is a better option.
If you’re such good sons and daughters, then why don’t ya’ll resign from your jobs and spend every waking moment taking care of your parents yourselves? Don’t employ anyone! Parents who have kids with disabilities usually do that … they give everything else up and devote themselves to their kids 24/7 LETS SEE YA’LL DO THAT!
you ain’t about that life. Ya’ll are just outchea sayin’ what you been taught to say and think!
You said you have brothers and sisters, right? Like I said, since you’re such a good son, why don’t you sit down with them and volunteer to devote yourself to fulltime care for him? Your siblings can give you all that cash and support you and your dad while they keep living their lives and you take care of him all day long. Give up your drinking, your partying, your women, EVERYTHING! Give it up and do what your mom did for you when you were a baby … wake up to check on him in the middle of the night, stay with him when he has a fever, cook for him, clean him, talk to him, etc
Weigh all options before you make the decision…I took care of my grandpa, had a live-in male nurse & I still had problems that rushing him to hosi…some problems were medical, others were psychological… it really drained me emotionally, financially etc…but sometimes in his insomnia moments, the stories he would tell me were hilarious only for him to later ask “eh kimwana…we kwanyu ni Ku?” after all these, told my folks, time yenu ikifika I won’t hesitate to take them to a senior citizens home.
Weigh all options before you make the decision…I took care of my grandpa, had a live-in male nurse & I still had problems including rushing him to hosi…some problems were medical, others were psychological… it really drained me emotionally, financially etc…but sometimes in his insomnia moments, the stories he would tell me were hilarious only for him to later ask “eh kimwana…we kwanyu ni Ku?” after all these, told my folks, time yenu ikifika I won’t hesitate to take them to a senior citizens home.
y’know? I get that its a touchy subject in our “culture” but I find it disturbing when some of those who seem enlightened and cultured among us are the most close-minded.
hapa leo I agree with you, hii mentality ya kutupa mtu should end, akiwa pale ata kuwa na beshte who he can relate, but hii yako ni tricky since he has a wife who is alive
Being with agemates is the best thing that can happen to him, I see them laughing, giggling na wanakatia huto tunyanya kama teenagers