Mabenda Archives

[Grundy]

Great and hilarious hekaya as always. And much fewer typos and grammatical errors.

[Zee]

haha

[kasaman]

@mabenda4

HARD TRIP…
(among the very first hekayas)

A HARD TRIP.

Several chrismas back, i decided to go celebrate in Maralal , Samburu county. From Nairobi, i took a mat to Nyahururu. Then i boarded a mini bus to Maralal

…From Nyahururu, it was a journey of less than an hour to Rumuruti. At Ruruti, more passengers boarded and the journey continued. Now, beyond Rumuruti ,towards Maralal, is a very dry country and not much vegetation except the thorny shrubs. The next stop would be miles away so most passangers slept. I remained awake meaning to enjoy the ride. We had travelled for an hour or so when it happened. Oh God. One minute all is clear the next minute a passenger is pointing an Ak 47 at the driver. It did not happen all at once. Hakuna! It was done in double quick time so i guess it happened all at twice. Screams erupted from everywhere and those who were asleep downright fainted. I heard some heavy slaps from behind and when i turned to look, i was greeted by 3 goons waving guns.
The driver stopped the bus a 100 meters away. By a show of guns, we scrambled out. We were then ordered in heavily accented swahili to undress and throw the clothes and shoes in the bus. We men were quick about it. The ladies however, were a bit hesitant. A moment later, the ladies were tearing the clothes off their own backs after the Ak47 rent the air.
Two thugs circled the bus to ensure nothing dropped then they climbed on the bus carrier. The other two boarded the bus. Then the drove off. They drove off leaving us 33 passenger naked on a stretch of road as straight as an arrow. Naked. If you have no idea, let me fill you in. We were 11men 3boys 1 baby 2girls 17 women the driver and two conductors all stark raving nude in the middle of hell. Holy mother of god! Nude. And not a leave or anything with which to cover our shame.
The goons simply drove off with everything on the bus. Gone. The baby started screaming. The panic spread and a girl vomited violently. 2 of the students let go and wet the floor. I would love to say they wet their pants but none had any. Halooo. It took a few minutes to calm the hysteria. It was then agreed that we at least try to walk back to rumuruti before it got dark. I dont recall who exactly suggested it or what reasons were given to back it, but it was agreed that we form two groups, the women ahead and the men on the rear. Whoever suggested this should be arrested on sight and locked up in an asylum. Did i or did i not tell you that the women were mama mbogas and University students. Did i?. Christ.
The order was given and the march commenced. The women 10 meters ahead and not a thing to see between here and Rumuruti. The first 100 meters was fine. We could bear the hot sand and the sharp rocks. Then it started getting hard. The picture ahead was beautiful. The ladies looked fit to walk to the end of the world. Occasionally one of them would bend over to rub her feet. We walked. A lady would turn around to encourage us to walk faster. We walked. Then another would bend over to remove a thorn then run to rejoin her group. We walked. By 500 meters it was gut wrenching mind boggling, heart throbbing, tree cracking hard. Haaard. Hard in deed. Something had to give. Someone would bust a vein here. By now, every member of the men group was huffing and puffing like a moose on heat. We were dead silent. All eyes dead ahead.

The 3 boys were groaning in pain. We walked. A lady ahead tripped on a rock and fell face first. Kwisha! One of the boys, with a searing scream emptied his barrel right there on the murram road. We all stopped. The women 7 meters away also stopped. Oh god. They stopped and in one sweet accord, turned and faced us. Those of us whose eyes were still in our heads gave up and the eyes rolled out to the shoulders for a better look. The other two boys and a few men went ballistic without further prompt. The ladies were blind to all this. The panic had returned. They sensed some danger. Then as if on cue, they all ran towards us. The men scampered in every direction. But you cant run fast when it is hard. We were doomed. The women gave chase each towards a man who looked fit to ward off the unseen danger.

Now, when a woman is coming to you for safety, they first grab you then try to hide behind you or under you or in you. Thats a fact. They caught up with me 5 paces out and tried to hide in me. In the absence of clothes to hold onto, they were clutching at anything extended. Any thing. Did i say it was hard. It got harder. Long story gone hard, that is the picture that met the Kws chopper when it zoomed from the horizon. The pilot almost crushed the silly chopper. It landed 50 meters out and the wardens approached with guns at the ready. They were contemplating killing us all and explain to their superiors that we were found in a devil worship ceremony while naked contrary to the Mututho laws. Grudgingly they accepted our story. They radioed Rumuruti and an hour later a black maria arrived with an assortment of clothes. It was agreed by a land slide that the women should wear as many clothes as possible. By and by things settled down and we travelled back to Rumuruti aboard the black maria. It was one hard trip. Hard trip indeed. Good day friends.

Just like old wine it get sweeter with age !
Sasa leta ya Yule wendawazimu mkamba in a bus from mombasa

[Koolibah]

@Nattydread

I have never been beyond Nyahururu northwards, and I can imagine what a torturous journey that must be in any weather:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5SBCVcNhe0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg9NTOOeE44

Nikunoma. You reach a godforsaken place called Maûndû Meerî, which got its name from the decision you have to make at that point, either turn back or continue with the journey. I have spent a couple of nights there all muddy and wet after fruitless efforts of getting our car out of the miasma of mud.
PS the only homestead and a kakiosk belongs to a shiny eye. These people tho!

[mabenda4]

@Koolibah

Nikunoma. You reach a godforsaken place called Maûndû Meerî, which got its name from the decision you have to make at that point, either turn back or continue with the journey. I have spent a couple of nights there all muddy and wet after fruitless efforts of getting our car out of the miasma of mud.
PS the only homestead and a kakiosk belongs to a shiny eye. These people tho!

He he he. These people aki

[Okwonkwo]

last I heard this road was to be rehabilitated. hekaya iko fyam.

[Ice_Cube]

@mabenda4

The 3 boys were groaning in pain. We walked. A lady ahead tripped on a rock and fell face first. Kwisha! One of the boys, with a searing scream emptied his barrel right there on the murram road.

:D:D:D

[Tarantinoh]

Still made me guffaw loudly, the second time, just like it did four years ago.

[dundley]

Once used that road on wet season and it took us 7 hours to cover the 100 km or less journey. The problem was that the pokot bandit had attacked a lorry 2 days prior to the journey and killed the driver. Worse still we passed some bullet riddled lorries on the way… Karibu nijiharie

[system]

May God have mercy on me for the images that i envisioned while reading this hekaya…haha . Ion, AK family of guns look sort of sexy when up close .

[wildfrank]

nice hekaya mate…nmecheka

[Meria_Mata]

The one and only HEKAYA GRAND MASTER, import thinks I’ve inhaled laughing gas juu ya uncontrollable mitheko, hehehe
The approaching chopper made the ladies panic and pandemonium broke loose.

[biraru]

Ostrich feeted elder umenimalisa
:D:D
Good read

[kah_tony]

Aii…I’m in pain. Too much laughing. This reminds me of @kush yule mnono who df a woman whom he was in the same situation in ngong’ forest.
Thugs have no heart.

[kev]

@mabenda4

Then as if on cue, they all ran towards us. The men scampered in every direction. But you cant run fast when it is hard. We were doomed. The women gave chase each towards a man who looked fit to ward off the unseen danger.

Sounds like a Tru hekaya:D:D…
Bring more

[Eng_iti]

Haha memories from the past nice TBT .

M4 kunywa Double Black tutalipia

[pipinono]

…hii kijiji will kill me one day. Nimecheka kaa mwenda.

[117]

I have been to Mararal but used the other route ile ya Isiolo then u get to Archers post, unaingia earth road to a certain god forsaken place called wamba alafu ndio ufike Maralal… Epic I say

[inzhener_otmetka]

@mabenda4

HARD TRIP…
(among the very first hekayas)

A HARD TRIP.

Several chrismas back, i decided to go celebrate in Maralal , Samburu county. From Nairobi, i took a mat to Nyahururu. Then i boarded a mini bus to Maralal

…From Nyahururu, it was a journey of less than an hour to Rumuruti. At Ruruti, more passengers boarded and the journey continued. Now, beyond Rumuruti ,towards Maralal, is a very dry country and not much vegetation except the thorny shrubs. The next stop would be miles away so most passangers slept. I remained awake meaning to enjoy the ride. We had travelled for an hour or so when it happened. Oh God. One minute all is clear the next minute a passenger is pointing an Ak 47 at the driver. It did not happen all at once. Hakuna! It was done in double quick time so i guess it happened all at twice. Screams erupted from everywhere and those who were asleep downright fainted. I heard some heavy slaps from behind and when i turned to look, i was greeted by 3 goons waving guns.
The driver stopped the bus a 100 meters away. By a show of guns, we scrambled out. We were then ordered in heavily accented swahili to undress and throw the clothes and shoes in the bus. We men were quick about it. The ladies however, were a bit hesitant. A moment later, the ladies were tearing the clothes off their own backs after the Ak47 rent the air.
Two thugs circled the bus to ensure nothing dropped then they climbed on the bus carrier. The other two boarded the bus. Then the drove off. They drove off leaving us 33 passenger naked on a stretch of road as straight as an arrow. Naked. If you have no idea, let me fill you in. We were 11men 3boys 1 baby 2girls 17 women the driver and two conductors all stark raving nude in the middle of hell. Holy mother of god! Nude. And not a leave or anything with which to cover our shame.
The goons simply drove off with everything on the bus. Gone. The baby started screaming. The panic spread and a girl vomited violently. 2 of the students let go and wet the floor. I would love to say they wet their pants but none had any. Halooo. It took a few minutes to calm the hysteria. It was then agreed that we at least try to walk back to rumuruti before it got dark. I dont recall who exactly suggested it or what reasons were given to back it, but it was agreed that we form two groups, the women ahead and the men on the rear. Whoever suggested this should be arrested on sight and locked up in an asylum. Did i or did i not tell you that the women were mama mbogas and University students. Did i?. Christ.
The order was given and the march commenced. The women 10 meters ahead and not a thing to see between here and Rumuruti. The first 100 meters was fine. We could bear the hot sand and the sharp rocks. Then it started getting hard. The picture ahead was beautiful. The ladies looked fit to walk to the end of the world. Occasionally one of them would bend over to rub her feet. We walked. A lady would turn around to encourage us to walk faster. We walked. Then another would bend over to remove a thorn then run to rejoin her group. We walked. By 500 meters it was gut wrenching mind boggling, heart throbbing, tree cracking hard. Haaard. Hard in deed. Something had to give. Someone would bust a vein here. By now, every member of the men group was huffing and puffing like a moose on heat. We were dead silent. All eyes dead ahead.

The 3 boys were groaning in pain. We walked. A lady ahead tripped on a rock and fell face first. Kwisha! One of the boys, with a searing scream emptied his barrel right there on the murram road. We all stopped. The women 7 meters away also stopped. Oh god. They stopped and in one sweet accord, turned and faced us. Those of us whose eyes were still in our heads gave up and the eyes rolled out to the shoulders for a better look. The other two boys and a few men went ballistic without further prompt. The ladies were blind to all this. The panic had returned. They sensed some danger. Then as if on cue, they all ran towards us. The men scampered in every direction. But you cant run fast when it is hard. We were doomed. The women gave chase each towards a man who looked fit to ward off the unseen danger.

Now, when a woman is coming to you for safety, they first grab you then try to hide behind you or under you or in you. Thats a fact. They caught up with me 5 paces out and tried to hide in me. In the absence of clothes to hold onto, they were clutching at anything extended. Any thing. Did i say it was hard. It got harder. Long story gone hard, that is the picture that met the Kws chopper when it zoomed from the horizon. The pilot almost crushed the silly chopper. It landed 50 meters out and the wardens approached with guns at the ready. They were contemplating killing us all and explain to their superiors that we were found in a devil worship ceremony while naked contrary to the Mututho laws. Grudgingly they accepted our story. They radioed Rumuruti and an hour later a black maria arrived with an assortment of clothes. It was agreed by a land slide that the women should wear as many clothes as possible. By and by things settled down and we travelled back to Rumuruti aboard the black maria. It was one hard trip. Hard trip indeed. Good day friends.

Oh Lord of Mercy, why do things get so hard at times?

[inzhener_otmetka]

@kalel

I’m on that road right now, pity it’s not a bus but I have a ‘mama mboga’ type next to me. It’s hard I tell you, but respite isn’t far off. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Your prayers will not be answered!
He he he…