pole sana. can only imagine the hours spent wishing, hoping and praying
Walker
November 5, 2017, 9:17am
23
Hekaya swafi. Kamata[SIZE=2]ko [/SIZE][SIZE=4]like[/SIZE]
system
November 5, 2017, 10:08am
24
Those of you familiar with the setup of a bedsitter, you know the bathroom and toilet door has a lock on the outside. The devil had waited until I got the shower started before she woke up and locked me up in the bathroom. She then proceeded to clean out my wallet, steal my brand-new phone and laptop. She even locked the front door after her as she left and went with the keys. That was cold. Even I had to respect that. I imagine how she walked out with swagger like that cat in @Mathaais avatar. (I hate that cat)
So here I am trapped in my own bathroom, I had no towel with me and was soon shivering. I tried banging on the door but it was no use, solid wood is not the best material to make a drum out of, living in a corner house made it actually made it impossible for anyone to hear me. I actually believed I was going to die either of cold or hunger. I rarely interacted with my neighbors so the odds of an unexpected visitor dropping by were zilch,i had just spoken to my folks and siblings the day before, it would be a few days before any of them thought my silence was suspicious. Either way,no rescue was forthcoming.
No man deserves to die like this, naked, and in your bathroom. A few hours passed, hours spent pondering about my life choices and cursing why I chose to take the girl home. I didn’t even want to think the number of phone calls muhindi had made, we were supposed to be doing a product demonstration for an important client that day. At a certain point, I even prayed.
Then the idea hit me, the caretaker was always complaining about people leaving running taps, as a general rule, if you forgot to turn off your taps and water overflowed outside he would turn off the tap for the culprit and only restore after giving the person the run around. This happened a few times to some neighbors. I turned on the taps and hoped that the tanks would not run empty before the water overflowed outside.
It took a couple of hours but eventually heard the caretaker coming up the stairs complaining loudly in his heavy meru accent, “nini mbaya na huyu mtu aliacha maji ikimwagika alafu nikiwafungia maji mnaanza kupiga kelele. Kwanza huyu kijana atanijua leo.” I have never felt happier to hear his ugly voice. I waited until he was at my door turning off the water to my house before shouting at the top of my voice until I got his attention.
Epilogue
I explained to him that I had a fight with my girlfriend and she locked me up in the shower before leaving. I needed him to get somebody to break the lock. He asked for her no. to call her and ask for the keys and I said I didn’t have her number off head. Eventually he agreed, and I was able to leave the bathroom, by then it was in the afternoon. Whether he believed my version of the tale or not, I don’t care. A lot of my belongings were damaged by water in the wardrobe aka chini ya kitanda. as for HR on Monday, I explained niliwekewa mchele. The look of embarrasement on my face was convincing and I got away with a verbal warning with a company wide memo advising staff to be careful on weekends. I have never seen that girl again even though I moved away from the area, I don’t know what I would do if I ever met her. Hayo ndiyo masaibu ya boychild.
PS. Crayon bandit @introvert nisijipate kwa gunia.
Wueh! Pole kwa masahibu. Some lessons are expensive to learn!!
system
November 5, 2017, 10:13am
25
Phombe. Kiangazi. These things are arranged by Satan!
system
November 5, 2017, 11:59am
26
Those of you familiar with the setup of a bedsitter, you know the bathroom and toilet door has a lock on the outside. The devil had waited until I got the shower started before she woke up and locked me up in the bathroom. She then proceeded to clean out my wallet, steal my brand-new phone and laptop. She even locked the front door after her as she left and went with the keys. That was cold. Even I had to respect that. I imagine how she walked out with swagger like that cat in @Mathaais avatar. (I hate that cat)
So here I am trapped in my own bathroom, I had no towel with me and was soon shivering. I tried banging on the door but it was no use, solid wood is not the best material to make a drum out of, living in a corner house made it actually made it impossible for anyone to hear me. I actually believed I was going to die either of cold or hunger. I rarely interacted with my neighbors so the odds of an unexpected visitor dropping by were zilch,i had just spoken to my folks and siblings the day before, it would be a few days before any of them thought my silence was suspicious. Either way,no rescue was forthcoming.
No man deserves to die like this, naked, and in your bathroom. A few hours passed, hours spent pondering about my life choices and cursing why I chose to take the girl home. I didn’t even want to think the number of phone calls muhindi had made, we were supposed to be doing a product demonstration for an important client that day. At a certain point, I even prayed.
Then the idea hit me, the caretaker was always complaining about people leaving running taps, as a general rule, if you forgot to turn off your taps and water overflowed outside he would turn off the tap for the culprit and only restore after giving the person the run around. This happened a few times to some neighbors. I turned on the taps and hoped that the tanks would not run empty before the water overflowed outside.
It took a couple of hours but eventually heard the caretaker coming up the stairs complaining loudly in his heavy meru accent, “nini mbaya na huyu mtu aliacha maji ikimwagika alafu nikiwafungia maji mnaanza kupiga kelele. Kwanza huyu kijana atanijua leo.” I have never felt happier to hear his ugly voice. I waited until he was at my door turning off the water to my house before shouting at the top of my voice until I got his attention.
Epilogue
I explained to him that I had a fight with my girlfriend and she locked me up in the shower before leaving. I needed him to get somebody to break the lock. He asked for her no. to call her and ask for the keys and I said I didn’t have her number off head. Eventually he agreed, and I was able to leave the bathroom, by then it was in the afternoon. Whether he believed my version of the tale or not, I don’t care. A lot of my belongings were damaged by water in the wardrobe aka chini ya kitanda. as for HR on Monday, I explained niliwekewa mchele. The look of embarrasement on my face was convincing and I got away with a verbal warning with a company wide memo advising staff to be careful on weekends. I have never seen that girl again even though I moved away from the area, I don’t know what I would do if I ever met her. Hayo ndiyo masaibu ya boychild.
PS. Crayon bandit @introvert nisijipate kwa gunia.
Bril’ write up @Useless Spectator
i think you have a lot of hekayas in you, you just need to bring them out.
pamba
November 5, 2017, 12:26pm
28
Can relate,kijana alinifungia kwa Choo, siku ilikuwa mrefu
system
November 5, 2017, 12:26pm
29
You bet I do gazillions of them. Kuishi kwingi kuona mengi but when I sit down to write…my train of thought tembeas all over the place thereby confusing the reader. I tend to write like I am talking. Not everyone can hekaya. Strangely I am v quiet in real life. I met my last boyfriend at a party here and we hit it off videadly sana. Then he flew out to NBO then flew back kwenye anakaa. So the relationship gathered pace on email/phone. Si I could write him long emails YAWAAAAAAAAAA but then so could he. FF I went to visit him for 2 weeks. Never have I seen a more disappointed man. He thought I would be like my emails. Akakutaa ng’o mpaka he asked me if I am that bored while I was really enjoying myself. So he went and brought me his laptop and said can you write to me then???:D:D:D:D:D:Dit was an ice-breaker and he got to know the real me but still found it vvv hard to comprehend how I can be so different. This para itself has about 20 hekayas about that 1st visit 9000 miles away to visit someone I had met twice, the whole stay, how we got on, the 1st shag…but ole wangu!!wacha I be a hekaya consumer!
You bet I do gazillions of them. Kuishi kwingi kuona mengi but when I sit down to write…my train of thought tembeas all over the place thereby confusing the reader. I tend to write like I am talking. Not everyone can hekaya. Strangely I am v quiet in real life. I met my last boyfriend at a party here and we hit it off videadly sana. Then he flew out to NBO then flew back kwenye anakaa. So the relationship gathered pace on email/phone. Si I could write him long emails YAWAAAAAAAAAA but then so could he. FF I went to visit him for 2 weeks. Never have I seen a more disappointed man. He thought I would be like my emails. Akakutaa ng’o mpaka he asked me if I am that bored while I was really enjoying myself. So he went and brought me his laptop and said can you write to me then???:D:D:D:D:D:Dit was an ice-breaker and he got to know the real me but still found it vvv hard to comprehend how I can be so different. This para itself has about 20 hekayas about that 1st visit 9000 miles away to visit someone I had met twice, the whole stay, how we got on, the 1st shag…but ole wangu!!wacha I be a hekaya consumer!
:D:D:D:D:D:D i always thought you were like how you write. i actually would have loved to meet you just to observe your thought process, mangled like a car wreck. i guess you are actually talkative, just not with new people. it gets better once you are more comfortable with someone, i can relate. Ps. your boyfie was smart to get you to write.
afisa pole, i hope hukuwa umeenda a long one alafu ikatae kuflash :D:D:D:D:D:D
system
November 5, 2017, 1:06pm
33
:D:D:D:D:D:D i always thought you were like how you write. i actually would have loved to meet you just to observe your thought process, mangled like a car wreck. i guess you are actually talkative, just not with new people. it gets better once you are more comfortable with someone, i can relate. Ps. your boyfie was smart to get you to write.
Your summary is just so spot on. Yes I am wild and fun if I am with my inner circle who are also like me but wary of strangers. But what do you expect? I was tupuad here at a vv early age so I have seen it all! and being guarded at all times ISA must. Do you know I never told my Sis and Bro here that I am off to Washington to meet someone coz I knew they would try and stop me? the only person I told was my Jamaican hairdresser, rather weavedresser. And she said be vvv careful. Take my number with you and ring me every day, not text ring it is crazy out there. So one day I told the dude that ‘no-one in my family knows where I am right now’…he nearly fainted!kikikikiki. I just know I have a lose nut somewhere, that is for shua. Haki I am now so nostalgic about that maiden visit:(:(boyfie was so cool…I could have told you what he did to make me unleash the goods as soon as before I became comfy and friend-zoned him. But this is your hekaya not mine.
Save the meeting you will be so bored!!!haki even here on Ktalk guys get shocked if we get to speak on the phone…:D:D:D:D
You bet I do gazillions of them. Kuishi kwingi kuona mengi but when I sit down to write…my train of thought tembeas all over the place thereby confusing the reader. I tend to write like I am talking. Not everyone can hekaya. Strangely I am v quiet in real life. I met my last boyfriend at a party here and we hit it off videadly sana. Then he flew out to NBO then flew back kwenye anakaa. So the relationship gathered pace on email/phone. Si I could write him long emails YAWAAAAAAAAAA but then so could he. FF I went to visit him for 2 weeks. Never have I seen a more disappointed man. He thought I would be like my emails. Akakutaa ng’o mpaka he asked me if I am that bored while I was really enjoying myself. So he went and brought me his laptop and said can you write to me then???:D:D:D:D:D:Dit was an ice-breaker and he got to know the real me but still found it vvv hard to comprehend how I can be so different. This para itself has about 20 hekayas about that 1st visit 9000 miles away to visit someone I had met twice, the whole stay, how we got on, the 1st shag…but ole wangu!!wacha I be a hekaya consumer!
Si lazima uangushe hekaya…images in all forms are acceptable!
system
November 5, 2017, 3:11pm
35
What images? if mbisha hakuna walahi.
system
November 5, 2017, 3:22pm
36
onapereka malaya kwako aje. Lodgins and brothels are there for a reason. Sorry for what you had to pass throu.
How you hit it off videadly sana…
system
November 5, 2017, 5:36pm
38
Will try after the big game.
Your summary is just so spot on. Yes I am wild and fun if I am with my inner circle who are also like me but wary of strangers. But what do you expect? I was tupuad here at a vv early age so I have seen it all! and being guarded at all times ISA must. Do you know I never told my Sis and Bro here that I am off to Washington to meet someone coz I knew they would try and stop me? the only person I told was my Jamaican hairdresser, rather weavedresser. And she said be vvv careful. Take my number with you and ring me every day, not text ring it is crazy out there. So one day I told the dude that ‘no-one in my family knows where I am right now’…he nearly fainted!kikikikiki. I just know I have a lose nut somewhere, that is for shua. Haki I am now so nostalgic about that maiden visit:(:(boyfie was so cool…I could have told you what he did to make me unleash the goods as soon as before I became comfy and friend-zoned him. But this is your hekaya not mine.
Save the meeting you will be so bored!!!haki even here on Ktalk guys get shocked if we get to speak on the phone…:D:D:D:D
one cant help but smile once they read your posts.
system
November 5, 2017, 6:03pm
40
Smile or laugh at me? sasa I have been asked fora mini hekaya and will try as soon as we send the Useless men back up North…