Mboch past Mamaa

Okwonkwo · December 18, 2016, 4:52am

hekaya njoo hekaya njoo

sunnymango · December 18, 2016, 5:18am

hekaya certified platinum! a real thriller!

Ice_Cube · December 18, 2016, 5:20am

muli succeed to export/import Kura za Waweru?

jakait · December 18, 2016, 5:35am

Good one. I don’t know what my wife would do,Hehehe.

system · December 18, 2016, 5:36am

What issues?

system · December 18, 2016, 5:37am

Kasighau:

Times i think about my life, and it sure looks and feels like a movie …a horror movie with a pinch of mad, a dash of comedy, a sprinkle of What-the-hell, a whisper of money and a good serving of Devil-rules-women trouble. Try this.
Back when i was M4, much back when i was a young M4, after four semesters, i got one too many refers and decided to shelf the course for a bit. (Ftr, i went back after sometime and A-sed it). So i shelved it for for a bit, came to Nai, took a house in Ruai, and enrolled for a BA in KiM. I lived in a mabati plot, and i was the only single. The other tenants were family guys. My two door away neighbour was a Meno brown from Kiangai in Kirinyaga, and worked in Kangundo. He had a young family, one little kid and a wife. A younger sister to the guy served as a mboch. No names today.
The girl and i hit it off. We were good friends but for the six months she was there, i never took slices, solely because her bro and his wife watched over her like hawks. The time came for her to go back to Kirinyaga, and she came to my house to bid me farewell. It was on a sunday afternoon, and she was to leave on Monday morning. Some how, we connived to have her spend two days in my house. The plan was agreed to in less than fifteen minutes.
On monday morning, her and the bro left very early before six. As was norm, the wife locked the house and went back to bed. At the stage, they said their goodbyes, and the bro took a mat to Kangundo, while the girl took one to town. Soon as the bro mat took off, she alighted and came back to the very sleepy plot. My door was open, waiting for her like a kamba waiting for water.
We had our fun, for two days non stop. I met and topped the threshold twice. During the day , she peed in a Kasuku, and only went to the loo dead in the night. On wednesday morning, we left before five, and i kissed her good bye pale matatu za karatina.
Two months after that, i shifted to Dagoreti , went back to finish my course and life went on. Afterwards, i got a job, and got married. And Cess was born. We were now living in Zimmerman.
As common, mama needed a housegal. A friend to a friend to a cousin referred one and mama hired. So one day i came home from the office, and we had a new housegal. The minute i saw her, i went almost mad. I hugged her like nuts, infront of mamaa. It was that girl, from ruai, who i hadn’t seen in seven years. On her part, she broke down and wept like a baby, right there, on my living room floor. Mamaa was seing with her teeth. And, i swear, she went to her bag, and fished a pic of her and a young son… A six year old son, that looked very much like My daughter Cess. Told me he was my son.
There was total chaos in that house, i tell you. Mamaa screaming “Toka Kwangu malaya wewe”, the girl screaming " sitoki hapa ni kwa bwanangu, mimi ndiye mke mkubwa, " my son, ule wa the maasai girl who dropped her on my door and left , now four years, laughing like nuts, then Cess woke up and started howling. In a span of thirty minutes, my very peaceful house was turned into a madhouse, complete with a circus troupe. Nilichanganyikiwa ile hujawai ona.
When words fail me, i use my hands. A few slaps calmed down the two mad women, a few prison learnt insults took care of the neighbours and a tv smashing on the opposite wal put me back in control. Despite everything, we all spent in that house.
On the morrow, the gal, now mama Fan, went to her brothers place in Ruai, and came back with my son, walipitana kwa mlango na mama Cess, who left and vowed never to return.
Mama Fan became my wife, for a month, till a group of Meru vagabonds, high on kangeta, with Mama Cess in command came and chased her away. Mama cess regained her kingdom, with an additional son.
Eventually Mama Fan married, but we are still good friends. Fan, my boy, just graduated this week… He is home …here…playing outside with his five siblings…playing footbal at 10:37at night…with four giggling girls and a swwaring bro…all six are screaming like rabbits outside, making a full racket…disturbing the neighbourhood…non aware of what crap i have endured in their stead…but i would do it twice again four times for them…my clan

Good one pal. Still laughing at ‘the meru vagabonds high on kangeta’:D:D:D

gashwin · December 18, 2016, 5:37am

ear out for another good heck-A-yeah, eh?:D:D:D:D:D:D

imei2012 · December 18, 2016, 5:37am

wewe doc in mfaite ama?

system · December 18, 2016, 5:39am

No, just good neighbors and friends. Got some relatives huko pia.

Yollo · December 18, 2016, 5:39am

Hio part imenimalisa,lol,hekaya iko A1

Ice_Cube · December 18, 2016, 5:40am

doc knows how to fish out hekayas from villagers, Pamba ndio amekua jiwe sugu kabisa

system · December 18, 2016, 5:40am

As always!:D:D:D

system · December 18, 2016, 5:47am

Huyu doc amekataa kutupatia hekaya vile alicheswo na dem

Ice_Cube · December 18, 2016, 5:50am

wacha tumuamulie vile tumejaribu na pamba, he may just crack unlike the hardcore Bukusu from sikata, to get us out of his back

system · December 18, 2016, 5:52am

That’s coz there was none. I don’t do fiction.

chieftm · December 18, 2016, 5:55am

Hekaya iko swafi…

system · December 18, 2016, 5:55am

The Kabeach Chronicles.
Good one bro.

gashwin · December 18, 2016, 5:58am

your calll, Doctor, even if it is fictionalizing one professional encounter like Dawood…

system · December 18, 2016, 5:59am

Dawood’s aren’t fictional (at least not those in the newspaper column).

Ice_Cube · December 18, 2016, 6:00am

your travels all over Kenya into the armpits of the republic must have yielded some juicy hekayas… names can be changed