Huyo number #27 joh:D:D:D:D
angesema ame ferment mdomo difference ya 0.02
huyo vincent aliblow akiwa ndani ya club bado ama
Hehehe Dim Eye kapatikana[ATTACH=full]75739[/ATTACH] [ATTACH=full]75739[/ATTACH]
What alcoblow level should be termed as drunken. Some are too low in my view
Innocent? Really?
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:D:D:D:D:D
0.35 in Kenya.
Equivalent to how many bottoros? Asking for sober onesā¦
Hiyo mahesabu sikumbuki but iko mahali kwa mtandao.
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Itās affected by many things, including diet, gender, weight, type of beverage, etc.
Have a look at this calculator:
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Seems the newer reg numner the higher the pebability of DUI. I therefore authorize that Pijot 404 KL anything siziwai simamishwa
Innocent?
How else do they get through your thick skulls? Youāre the same people complaining when they donāt do their job, when they are hard at work still complain .what do you want?
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sasa hiyo kitu moja ndio kila mtu anaweka mdomo yake chafu hapoā¦na hujui kuke midomo zingine zimekota yuck
Tip ya kupuliza hubadilishwa.
oooh
Boss @10000 OTHERS hio difference ya 0.02 imeniokolea Embu before kenol 2yrs ago.I quit drunk driving on the same night.a talker i was with iām sure anacheka akiona hii comment.
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The mouth piece is disposable.
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okongo aliweza huyo hata hakumbuki aki blow
It can be entertaining ā¦ C&P narrative follows:
[SIZE=5]ALCOBLOW SUCKSā¦[/SIZE]
Dear Doris,
Just shut up and listenā¦
It is Tuesdayā¦ The following takes place between Friday 2am and Monday 4pmā¦
I was driving home a tad tipsy Friday morning at about 2am following every detail I taught you on my letter,HOW TO DRIVE HOME DRUNK. I was driving in the middle of the road and allā¦
When I got to Madaraka roundabout, I was stopped by copsā¦
Now you see we had talked about this earlier in the clubā¦ If you see copsā¦ Reverseā¦ ESCAPE! This is a tad difficult with 10 cars or so behind you! So I stopā¦
āKijana toka toka tokaā¦ Leo ni leoā¦ Tokaā¦ā A cop sermons me out of the carā¦ You see, I was not drunkā¦ But I was far from sober! I am guided to the bonnet of a cop land rover where a second cop handed me something I was supposed to make sure hadnāt been tampered withā¦ Then he asks me to unwrap itā¦ It was a nozzle for the alcoblowā¦ He fixes it to the machine and asks me to blowā¦ I hadnāt had much to drink so I was sure I was safeā¦ So I blowā¦
Let me explainā¦ A reading of 0.35 and below is the legal limitā¦ Before I was even done blowing into the thing, mine was at 0.52ā¦ By the time I was done, it was 0.57ā¦ I was an aspiring criminal!
Now you see, these people can always be bribedā¦ I think I had 800 bob that I was extremely willing to give these guysā¦ Plus my house was just around the cornerā¦ I do not encourage corruption, but if the time is 2am in the morning and there is a possibility you will spend the night in a police cell, the law can be revised a little.
I was held by the back of my pants and thrown into the land roverā¦
āBossā¦. Chekiā¦ nina soo nane!?ā I whisper just before he lets goā¦The man CLEARLY didnāt know the code of secretsā¦ WHISPER!
āHio weka uongeze 19,200 ufike bailā¦ Unalala ndaniā¦ā He shouts back! The arrogance in his voice was above optimum averageā¦ This one couldnāt be boughtā¦ Which by the way is a good thingā¦ If it is like daytimeā¦ IT WAS 2amā¦
My phone battery at the time was at 12%ā¦ That on an android OS means 7 minutes or lessā¦
I call my brotherā¦ He doesnāt pick upā¦.
I call a cousinā¦ Doesnāt pick upā¦
āBoss, usimalize motoā¦ Niko na planā¦ Pigia hii numberā¦ Ni bro wanguā¦ Ni military policeā¦ā The guy next to me saysā¦ He was completely drunk and couldnāt shut upā¦ He was very stubborn and kept throwing insults at the copsā¦
āSalary ya 15,000 ndio maana mumejam hivi. Si mungehanda wa Westgate hivi viserious pia!ā He muttered!
āKwani nilinunua pombe na pesa ya nyanyakoā¦ā He told one cop who got so pissed that he handcuffed himā¦ TO ME! I was quite silentā¦ Shaking my ass off from cold and extreme fear! Then by some miracle I get to my brother and cousin who both come to where I wasā¦
After about an hour or so, the land rover was bursting with sponges.Every one of them trying to convince the police that they had not taken much! The place reeked of boozeā¦ The man next to me kept on tagging on the handcuffs that got tighter by his every stupid moveā¦ If he was any smaller, I would have strangled him with the cuffs!
āTukikojolea hii pingu itatokanaā¦ā he suggested!
[B]The last guy to be thrown into the land rover was apparently KDFā¦ He had the temper of a praying mantis! He was fighting everyoneā¦ He hit the cops and hit the drunkardsā¦ Then a female cop said to him, āTulia we mleviā¦ā
He punched her so hard on the faceā¦ āAnaniuaā¦ Ananiuaā¦.ā The cop yelpedā¦ The KDF guy too was then handcuffed to the bars in the land rover![/B]
I kept on calling my brother and cousin to make sure they were onto of things and I was not going to sleep in a police cellā¦ Their tones were quite convincing so I calmed down and so did my phoneā¦ As in it diedā¦
We were driven to Muthaiga Police Stationā¦ This fat guy kept on telling people the way his dad could fix the situation and all of us would be set free before we even got to where we were goingā¦ I think his dad played quidich!
We were marched into the police station and our names recorded!
Do you know how difficult it is to deal with drunkards??? People kept on giving wrong namesā¦ Others got violentā¦ Others broke down!
I needed to take a pissā¦ So I asked the nearest copā¦ This was not a good ideaā¦ I was handcuffed from the back and shown to the latrinesā¦
Now let me explainā¦ Men need both hands to undertake this natural actā¦ If not both, then AT LEAST, one handā¦ Now, with both my hands cuffed at the back, I couldnāt even get my zipperā¦ So I just stood there for a while then went back insideā¦ My bladder was going to explodeā¦
Everyone was then thrown in a dark roomā¦ I could feel the dumpiness of the concrete beneath my feetā¦ Do you know how you can tell piss when you step on it? The viscosity of urine cannot be compared to any liquidā¦ Then the smellā¦ Unless someone poured a considerable amount of ammonia on the floor, I couldnāt be convinced otherwise!
Funny thing is, we were thrown in with all our possessions. Nothing was taken from usā¦ You know how belts and shoe laces should always be taken away?! NOTHING! I mean, someone could have easily carried a knife or a gunā¦ or a dildo! How can you lock 100 men in a dark room and donāt check their pocketsā¦ This fact will be useful in a bit!
I walked till the end of the room until I could feel the wallā¦ Then I turned my back agains the wallā¦
Let me describe the roomā¦ The place was so dark I could barely see the human standing next to me. It wasnāt a big roomā¦ Bit it was divided into three cubiclesā¦ One had criminalsā¦ The next DUIs and the third was the shitterā¦ It was from the third room that urine made its way neatly into the other two roomsā¦ Mosquitoes fat with malaria buzzed all over the placeā¦ I completely ignored the possibility of bedbugs and lice!
On my way to the end of the room, I felt someone reaching into my pocketā¦ I HOPE IT WAS FOR MY POCKET! So when I got to the wall, I took out my phone and wallet and shoved them into my boxers then crossed my legs!!! This, I now see, was not a great ideaā¦ But it workedā¦
https://mydeardoris.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/img-20140128-wa0000.jpg?w=645
This was me (guy in burgandy) on TV in courtā¦ See the fear in my face?!
Again, anyone could have carried anythingā¦ So two men lit up a blunt and smoked awayā¦ Another man lit a cigarette and in no time the whole place was a cloud of cancer! The ventilation was patheticā¦ Tiny openings near the roof fed the tiny cell with oxygen!
I got really tired of standing with my legs crossed so I decided to sitā¦ This was not a good idea eitherā¦ Sitting on concrete laminated in urine is not a partyā¦ But I needed to sit!
I couldnāt sleep thoughā¦ The men standing next to me were talking in a language I couldnāt understandā¦ In my head they were saying,āLet me hold him from the front as you take him from the backā¦ The we switch!ā I was WIDE AWAKE!
At about 5, four guys were taken outā¦ Maybe for the guillotines, I do not know!
I make friendsā¦ Drunkards make cool friendsā¦
I heard my name being called out at about 6:30amā¦ The sun was out and men lay asleepā¦ On fuckin piss!
I was freeā¦ With a cash bail of 20,000/- and a court dateā¦
THE COURT: MONDAY
I was ordered to appear before the Chief Magistrate Millimani Court on Monday at 8am!
I called a c few people to check how much the fine was and the processā¦ For everyone I called I got a different answerā¦
[B]The first person I called was Alexander Mugeās cousin who is some big copā¦ āThe fine will not be anything above 30,000/-. Make sure you go with someone who will pay it for youā¦ā
Second person: ā100,000! But I can help youā¦ I could make your case file disappear!ā
Third person: āLast week guys paid 60,000/=ā
Fourth: āYour cash bail will be usedā¦ So 20,000/=ā[/B]
Fifth: ā6 months in prison! I heard they want to teach DUIs a lesson!ā
Sixth: āIt can be 500 or 100,000ā¦ I suggest you get 100,000 to be safeā¦ā
As you can see, this was thoroughly confusing!
So I did my averages and got myself 80,000 and prayedā¦ I was in court by 7amā¦ Like the good citizen I am! We were not let in until 7:30amā¦
DUIs were to appear in courtroom 9ā¦ When I got there, we were told that we were too many and our files were not readyā¦ The man advised us to go for breakfast and come back at 11amā¦ I didnāt leaveā¦ I sat there and waited till 11amā¦
[B]WE WERE MANY! Easily 300 peopleā¦ The courtroom was fullā¦ The smell of sweat was the anthemā¦ The media was presentā¦ Cameras flashed light every secondā¦ I felt like Lady Gaga for a whileā¦
So because of our numbers, a register was called outā¦ The judge called out every single one on that listā¦ All you had to do was respond, āPresent you Honour!ā If the judge called out your name twice with no answer, a warranty of arrest was immediately issuedā¦[/B]
After everyone was called, the judge asked if we were all guilty to which everyone shouted, āYESSSS YOUR HONOUR!ā
Then everyone was given a chance for mitigationā¦ The stories were hilariousā¦
Story one: āAfande mimi sikukunywa hata mingiā¦ Lakini nakubali mashtakaā¦Niko na mtotoā¦ Tafadhali nionee huruma!ā
Story two: ā I only took two WHite Capsā¦ I have since switched to juice. Si hats lie ya delmonte in aka bombe bombe!!ā
Story three: āYour honour, me just tell me today how many bottles of beer I should drink so that next time I am here, I say you gave me permission!ā
And many moreā¦.
[B][SIZE=6]The judge was so amused and decided to fine most of us 20,000/= So our cash bail money was used as fine moneyā¦ This was a long processā¦
I left the court of law at 4pm a free man! I went home and bought myself nice thingsā¦ Like chips and sausagesā¦
Now that I have been in JAIL; I am working on my first rap album![/SIZE][/B]
https://mydeardoris.wordpress.com/2014/02/04/alcoblow-sucks/
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